Being thousands of miles away from my family didnt help matters.
Both my boys are teenagers who just look at me as if I am a looney when I 'lose' it. Mick is a good bloke, but very emotionally cold. As far as he is concerned, I should of moved on long ago. Did go to the doctor who explained that as Mick had never lost a close rellie, he would have no concept of the pain. But as I said, things are getting easier..........day by day.

Yeah, know how you feel. Grief is a lonely place. Even if you are surrounded by lots of caring people, nobody feels your grief as you do - it's an entirely personal thing. I've talked to friends who have lost their mothers, but still never have that moment when I can say 'Exactly - that's exactly how I feel'. Means you have to deal with it on your own in many ways. Harder for you being away from people too.

My other half is fantastic - he's not lost anyone so close either - but he doesn't claim to understand, and he doesn't try to preach to me. He simply holds me when I need it and leaves me be when I need some time to have a good sob without an audience.

It is painful - physically painful, and blinkin knackering. I still go to pick up the phone to call mum, still expect to see a text message from her, still feel like my tongue is thick in my mouth from not being able to talk to her, especially when there is so much going on in my life that I know she'd want to hear about. I still feel cheated. In many ways I haven't moved on at all, but I'm not worried about it. I know I'll get there in the end.

Also oztennis and I thought bondipom might pop in from time to time. Oh and also hevs to see how Hup is doing

......timberflooraus........he was pretty helpful?

thought he was abit of a plank.

gettit plank ..... timberfloor..............and a collective groan goes up on the forum

Bundy, I've drawn a load of strength recently from some of your posts. My dad passed away in June from cancer, but unlike your mum he had absolutely no positive spirit. He just went to bed and gave up. Never been a fighter, and just couldn't cope. I couldn't help contrasting it with the experiences your family went through. My sister and I were far more realistic - we enjoyed being together when I went over afterwards, we got strength from our joint memories - you know the kind of thing.
The Bloke doesn't understand my grief at all, bless him, and I think because of that, and beause of all the stresses of work, I've not really had any time to grieve properly. Every so often something hits me, as it does you, and the memories are just "there". As you say, give it time, we'll get there in the end.

So I just want to say Thanks, for giving me strength as I remember the words you posted all the time things were happening with your family. You're a wonderful strong person and you helped me a lot without even knowing it

Hi Polly. Really don't think I can take any credit for helping you, but if some of my inane ramblings helped in any way, then I'm glad. Sorry to hear about your dad. Sucks, doesn't it?

As for being strong, I'm really not this paragon of strength that people seem to think I am. My mum was immensely, super-humanly strong and her strength sort of filtered down to me when I needed it. It's still there now. Stupid things - I was at the dentist the other day, and when that big needle approached, I thought 'this won't hurt as much as mum hurt every single day so don't even think of complaining'.

My mum's cousin's son died the other day. Another one lost to cancer, aged just 42 with two young children. If that doesn't force you to get out of bed every day and live it like it was your last, then nothing will.

I think BP is starting to enjoy life again after 2 rough years looking after a littlun with lots of gastroinstestinal issues.

Hello people!

I am still here....you won't get rid of me that easily!! I lurk sometimes when I get a quiet mo at work...like now..late Friday arvo & there's no boss around!

Since getting a full time job I feel I rarely have time to breathe inbetween going to work...running my younger 2 here and there to their various clubs etc and beating all 3 of them into submission to help me around the house!!

Life is good tho...I have a great job, a lovely house...a bloke that cooks...3 kids that drive me up the wall...one of which gives us no end of adolescent trauma...but I still love 'em all to death..

I have my folks coming over for xmas (yee har...no more ironing...thanks mum!)...but before then I have my inlaws invading us for 5 weeks ...thank christ for working full time!!!!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...all very nice.
But how's the sex ?

Still male.

ok pussycat...spill...who told you?

Thanks for that. IvanM ....interesting username...... :-)

Anyone heard word of oztennis formally of this parish?

He's not been around for ages. I was kind of expecting him to pop up during Wimbledon but he didn't.

Thanks.
A few more
simone
a poster called chippie (i think or something similar) he had some funny posts(think he was a carpenter moved to brisbane)