I was born in Yorkshire and would consider myself to have a 'Northern sense of humour', I totally understand the concept of the 'big light' and 'lets do a big shop' and I was hand reared on Peter Kay at some point in my life.

Has anyone heard of the 'Uxbridge Dictionary'? My old boss in London reckoned it required Northern humour and it certainly seems that way from the reactions I have had from when I have shown my book to people.

I have linked the website to this, it really made me chuckle - basically it is the alternative definition to words.

Here is the link:

http://www.alspcs.com/main.html

Have a good read of each definition, some are hilarious - one of my favourites is 'Juniper' = did you nip that woman?

Just click on whatever letter of the alphabet you like and it will come up with a list of alternative meanings.

Enjoy..

Looks alright.

It seems to be missing one of my favourites: Coffee - The person being coughed on.

I remember that one!

I think this is the new one and they are continually updating it. I like 'Melancholy' - a strange shaped dog and then they show a collie dog in the shape of a melon.

PP - I always agree with your comments on here and laugh at how similar we sound, now realise why, I'm a Yorkshire girl too - it's starting to make sense!!

Ive got another one - the definition of 'Liquor' - to give a woman oral sex.

To all those from Yorkshire and up North, here's a bit of Northern humour.

Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."


A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

Bloke from Barnsley with a sore bum asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"

PMSL ... Switch the 'Big light on' and 'Put the little light off' the big light in our house is always without doubt the ceiling light.

Pre Peter Kay you couldn't beat Bobby Thompson for some dry/cutting non Chubby Brown F'ing & Bliming harmless Northern humour.

On a side bar along the lines of the lights, didn't realise till I came to Aus that a lot of Northeners talk in negatives as in 'Are you not going out tonight' which really means are you going out or 'Are you not going to open that door' which means come on open the door.

My brother used to have a mug with the Yorkshiremans prayer on it, can anyone remember how it goes?

LOL, i was sent this via e-mail last year and it still cracks me up now,,lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VLYpKGVBUg


Cal x

Are you sure it was a prayer? My Dad has a pint mug for cocoa it says:
"See all, hear all, say now't ... Eat all, sup all, pay now't ... And if ever tha does owt for now't, allus do it for thisen."

Another bit of northern humour

The first man married a woman from Dorset. Told her that she
was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the
third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.


The second man married a woman from Derbyshire He gave his wife
orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first
day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the
third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a
huge dinner on the table.



The third man married a girl from Yorkshire, He ordered her to keep the house
cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table
for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he
didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down
and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough
that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has
some difficulty when he pees.

Joke told by Noel Gallagher (discussing northern humour, think at the time he was talking about how funny scousers are - I have to agree )

Husband says to his wife "put yer coat on love"
Wife - "you taking me out love?"
Husband - "no, I'm off down the boozer, and I'm switchin the heatin off"