Loss on the other side of the world
Apr 15th 2009, 10:17 pm
#1
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Loss on the other side of the world
Hi Everyone,
I felt I had to write this, My mother died unexpectedly on Easter Friday, But was rushed into hospital after having a stroke a couple of days prior, My worst nightmare was becoming a reality, We had made no provisions for this even though we all no that this may occur, its just never gonna happen this year, so i was unable to rush to her side, we were lucky that my brother was able to go by borrowing the money, so was able to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye, and she waited for him to get there, he spent the day with her, even though she was unconscious, 10 min after he left to get something to eat, she passed away, just heartbreaking, I was unable to do the same, then i was told that my family had managed to raise the money for me and my daughter to go over for the funeral which takes place tonight australia time, I was so happy till i looked at my daughters passport and found it had expired july 08. Although she would get into the UK, she would be unable to return without a valid passport, and of course its still not easy as I had to get a signature from someone in a profession to state they had known her 2 years, we have only been here 15 months, so the bottom line was and is that I could not go, I felt I had to tell my story, so that all of those of you that read it, would realise that anything can happen at any time, my mother had never been ill, it was sudden, Money should be put away in case of an emergency, and all documentation should be up to date at all times.
Sharon
I felt I had to write this, My mother died unexpectedly on Easter Friday, But was rushed into hospital after having a stroke a couple of days prior, My worst nightmare was becoming a reality, We had made no provisions for this even though we all no that this may occur, its just never gonna happen this year, so i was unable to rush to her side, we were lucky that my brother was able to go by borrowing the money, so was able to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye, and she waited for him to get there, he spent the day with her, even though she was unconscious, 10 min after he left to get something to eat, she passed away, just heartbreaking, I was unable to do the same, then i was told that my family had managed to raise the money for me and my daughter to go over for the funeral which takes place tonight australia time, I was so happy till i looked at my daughters passport and found it had expired july 08. Although she would get into the UK, she would be unable to return without a valid passport, and of course its still not easy as I had to get a signature from someone in a profession to state they had known her 2 years, we have only been here 15 months, so the bottom line was and is that I could not go, I felt I had to tell my story, so that all of those of you that read it, would realise that anything can happen at any time, my mother had never been ill, it was sudden, Money should be put away in case of an emergency, and all documentation should be up to date at all times.
Sharon
Apr 15th 2009, 10:49 pm
#2
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Very sorry for your loss Sharon.
Apr 15th 2009, 10:54 pm
#3
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Location: Cochrane, Alberta
Posts: 7,861
Re: Loss on the other side of the world
So very sorry to hear your comments - and you are right about your last few lines - always have some kind of back-up rainy-day money.
Could you and the family get together later in the summer or something, and have your own private celebration/memorial for her - plant a tree, raise a large glass, have a picnic at one of her favourite places, or whatever fits your circumstances? It might be a quiet moment for you to focus as were unable to return at this time, and it might prove very important for you ?
Condolences.
Could you and the family get together later in the summer or something, and have your own private celebration/memorial for her - plant a tree, raise a large glass, have a picnic at one of her favourite places, or whatever fits your circumstances? It might be a quiet moment for you to focus as were unable to return at this time, and it might prove very important for you ?
Condolences.
Apr 15th 2009, 11:23 pm
#4
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
My thoughts are with you.
Alison x
Alison x
Apr 15th 2009, 11:29 pm
#5
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Joined: May 2005
Location: Melbourne
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
So very sorry to hear this and thank you for sharing, ann m has made some useful suggestions for you to consider. As it happens we do need to get our passports up-to-date and I'm now going to get on with that. Julie x
Apr 15th 2009, 11:56 pm
#6
Richard & Nikki
Joined: Jan 2005
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Sorry to hear of your sad loss. It is difficult being so far away in times of an emergency. Could you have gone to the funeral without your daughter? 
It is good advice to make sure all passports are upto date and to have an emergency fund. I'm sure others that read your story will now be checking their passports!
Maybe you can have a private service of your own once you are able to return to the UK.
Nikki
It is good advice to make sure all passports are upto date and to have an emergency fund. I'm sure others that read your story will now be checking their passports!
Maybe you can have a private service of your own once you are able to return to the UK.
Nikki
Apr 16th 2009, 12:57 am
#7
Jan4kids
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Hertfordshire - Adelaide - now Gold Coast.
Posts: 1,156
Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Sharon,
I really feel for you. Having lost my own Mum at Christmas (she died whilst I was flying to her) I understand completely. Try not to beat yourself up and try instead to remember happy times.
Good Advice too.....maybe you can gain some comfort from the thought that you may save someone else from going through what you've just gone through?
Stay Strong,
Jan
I really feel for you. Having lost my own Mum at Christmas (she died whilst I was flying to her) I understand completely. Try not to beat yourself up and try instead to remember happy times.
Good Advice too.....maybe you can gain some comfort from the thought that you may save someone else from going through what you've just gone through?
Stay Strong,
Jan
Apr 16th 2009, 2:16 am
#8
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
sending you love
so sorry for your loss x
so sorry for your loss x
Apr 16th 2009, 11:33 am
#9
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Just want to send my sympathy to you. I also know how you feel. I had just arrived back in UK for a visit, a few years ago. I had tel. my mother for a chat straight away, she was her normal self, and arranged to go and see her a couple of days later. She died totally unexpectedly the next night. So I felt even worse, as I was in UK and could have seen her. Unfortunately you can never predict these sad events. So take care, and I think the suggestion of doing something personal in the future is an excellent one. It will help you to say farewell.
Apr 16th 2009, 1:34 pm
#10
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Ah, so sorry for your loss Sharon.
Something i had thought about (we've only been here 6 months) and i think about it all the time - the what ifs!
My dad died 2 years ago and it broke my heart, we were always close me and my dad and it nearly killed me, so Australia was complete escapism for me.
I do wonder sometimes if i should return to Scotland and make amends with my mum before she dies as we have never been close, but i think it has a lot to do with the regrets i have with not fully understanding my dad's addiction and so we fought all the time, despite loving him unconditionally.
So sad Sharon, my heart goes out to you hen xxx
Something i had thought about (we've only been here 6 months) and i think about it all the time - the what ifs!
My dad died 2 years ago and it broke my heart, we were always close me and my dad and it nearly killed me, so Australia was complete escapism for me.
I do wonder sometimes if i should return to Scotland and make amends with my mum before she dies as we have never been close, but i think it has a lot to do with the regrets i have with not fully understanding my dad's addiction and so we fought all the time, despite loving him unconditionally.
So sad Sharon, my heart goes out to you hen xxx
Apr 16th 2009, 2:20 pm
#11
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Please accept my condolences for your loss. I know it's a bit late now, but this might help others, and it has been mentioned on here before. We have taken out an insurance with a company called Kinsure which will pay for your flights, accommodation etc UK to Oz or vice versa in emergencies. It cost us £150 for a couple. We felt it worthwhile as we now have more family in Australia than in England. Our daughter and son-in-law in Australia are also going to take out the insurance just in case (heaven forbid!) anything should happen to us oldies.
Apr 16th 2009, 10:42 pm
#12
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
So sorry to hear that your mother has passed. You have had some very good suggestions off other expats.
Suexx
Suexx
Apr 17th 2009, 12:16 am
#13
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Location: Perth, SOR
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Re: Loss on the other side of the world
So sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you.
Apr 17th 2009, 12:45 am
#14
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Posts: 21,434
Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Oh Sharon, so very sorry that you were unable to go back to the UK!
When my fil died just after we had arrived, OH went back for the funeral but the boys &myself stayed. We said some prayers & talked about grandpa at the exact time the funeral was going on in the UK. It helped us not to feel totally out of the loop.
Thinking of you.
When my fil died just after we had arrived, OH went back for the funeral but the boys &myself stayed. We said some prayers & talked about grandpa at the exact time the funeral was going on in the UK. It helped us not to feel totally out of the loop.
Thinking of you.
Apr 17th 2009, 1:03 am
#15
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,560
Re: Loss on the other side of the world
Hi Everyone,
I felt I had to write this, My mother died unexpectedly on Easter Friday, But was rushed into hospital after having a stroke a couple of days prior, My worst nightmare was becoming a reality, We had made no provisions for this even though we all no that this may occur, its just never gonna happen this year, so i was unable to rush to her side, we were lucky that my brother was able to go by borrowing the money, so was able to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye, and she waited for him to get there, he spent the day with her, even though she was unconscious, 10 min after he left to get something to eat, she passed away, just heartbreaking, I was unable to do the same, then i was told that my family had managed to raise the money for me and my daughter to go over for the funeral which takes place tonight australia time, I was so happy till i looked at my daughters passport and found it had expired july 08. Although she would get into the UK, she would be unable to return without a valid passport, and of course its still not easy as I had to get a signature from someone in a profession to state they had known her 2 years, we have only been here 15 months, so the bottom line was and is that I could not go, I felt I had to tell my story, so that all of those of you that read it, would realise that anything can happen at any time, my mother had never been ill, it was sudden, Money should be put away in case of an emergency, and all documentation should be up to date at all times.
Sharon
I felt I had to write this, My mother died unexpectedly on Easter Friday, But was rushed into hospital after having a stroke a couple of days prior, My worst nightmare was becoming a reality, We had made no provisions for this even though we all no that this may occur, its just never gonna happen this year, so i was unable to rush to her side, we were lucky that my brother was able to go by borrowing the money, so was able to get to the hospital in time to say goodbye, and she waited for him to get there, he spent the day with her, even though she was unconscious, 10 min after he left to get something to eat, she passed away, just heartbreaking, I was unable to do the same, then i was told that my family had managed to raise the money for me and my daughter to go over for the funeral which takes place tonight australia time, I was so happy till i looked at my daughters passport and found it had expired july 08. Although she would get into the UK, she would be unable to return without a valid passport, and of course its still not easy as I had to get a signature from someone in a profession to state they had known her 2 years, we have only been here 15 months, so the bottom line was and is that I could not go, I felt I had to tell my story, so that all of those of you that read it, would realise that anything can happen at any time, my mother had never been ill, it was sudden, Money should be put away in case of an emergency, and all documentation should be up to date at all times.
Sharon