Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

One day a scouser dies so before he goes to heaven he arrives at the gates of St Peters.
"Age?" Peter asks.
"24" the little scouser replied.
"Where did you live?"
"Well, um, Liverpool"
"Were you blue or were you red" asked St. Peter.
"Red till I died" replied the scouser.
"Sorry no scousers allowed into heaven they are all robbing little twats!"
"But but I have done good things."
"Like what?"
"Well, last week I gave a tenner to the homeless the week before that I gave a tenner to oxfam and the day I died I gave a tenner to the heart foundation!"
"Well I will see what I can do I will go and explain the situation to God."
After half an hour out comes St. Peter followed by god who is wearing a united shirt.
"Right I heard what you have done with all the good causes what with giving away thirty quid to charity and I have come up with a solution" God said.
"What is it?" asked the scouser.
"Well, here is your thirty quid now piss off!"

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers.
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

Q - Why are Scousers like laxatives?
A - Because they irritate the shit out of you.

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

News just in!!!!!

PG tips have just pulled out of a sponsorhip deal with Liverpool after it was discovered that a tea bag is actually in the cup longer. :D

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

lol :D

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

LMFAO. :D Mate, they are seriously good jokes and have I got your permission to re produce over the net to some chums in Blighty. :rolleyes:

Have some k

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

spread the word, its important people know the truth about these scousers :beer:

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

I for one was dissapointed to see them go out.
last years final has to rank as one of the greatest finals ever to grace the european stage and i`m sure most fans whatever club would agree :beer:

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

na, dont think so.

they shouldnt have been in the cup last year.
they didnt beat chelsea.
then had to win it on penalties. :zzz: :zzz:

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

At least they got to the final in the first place.

Some teams just can't hack it with the big boys in europe :D

G

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

you watched it then ;)

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

actually turned it off when they went 2-0 down.
But felt like i played the match, every wanna be scouser gave me a ball by ball account. Heard it so many times i got cramp.

Remember them soppy scouse bastards that left the ground at half time :p

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

too funny :beer: :D :beer:

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

They never will WIN the European cup.

They can't even BUY it ! ;)

Re: Liverpool "European Champions" My *RSE
 

European cup finished years ago. Champions League now. Keep up with the program.

And its not as if Liverpool has not spent money on players. Only difference is Chelseas players are good. Liverpools are shite.