Petals

I probably would agree about the baby sitter.

Also my friend's daughter has just returned and she has Dengue Fever and also was bitten by a monkey and has had to have rabies shots.

Whilst at the hospital there was another young lass sitting waiting and she had been bitten by a dog and was having rabies shots.

Know that this does not happen to everyone, but the crux is if my daughter was 14 I would want to be there just in case there was a problem.

Kim67

I have panic attacks when one of my kids goes interstate or overseas with my husband, never mind with friends. But at 14, with really good family friends I might consider it for a 14 year old. I haven't let the kids go on any international trips without a parent yet (school camps etc) because like you NB, I feel that it's too far away if anything happened.

They've been interstate with school, but it would have been a matter of jumping on the next flight (which there would have been plenty) or jumping in the car and driving like a bat out of hell for 10 hours. Overseas is much trickier and if something were to happen you would never forgive yourself or your friends (even if it was something they had no control over).

Actually I lie, the eldest went on school camp into a neighbouring country when we were in Dubai, but my husband's business partner had a neighbouring adventure camp in the same place and it was only a couple of hours drive from our house so I had people I could trust to call if anything happened and the border control of the country was pretty slack at that end of the border so just a matter of showing your passport and travelling straight through.

AlliF

I too would say that makes the decision easy, you would just be following DFAT advice that it is not safe. THEY can be the 'bad-guys' in this instance. And the fact that any travel insurance would probably not be valid should anything happen would doubly enforce that.
Even if that warning was not in force I wouldnt want to put the responsibility of care on someone else in a country such as Bali where the laws and punishment are so far different to our own.

Pollyana

I'm in charge of my niece in London for 2 days in April, I'm starting to wonder whether I'm capable of doing it now I'm hearing of all these parents who are too worried to let their teenagers out of their sight

Kooky.

It's admittedly a very long time ago (1977) but we did the other side of this - at 14 my best friend came to Tenerife with my family. It was understood by all that my parents had full responsibility and authority over her, treated her as another daughter - which they did most of the time in the UK anyway

I recall (and have told the tale on BE before) that we drank a lot of Bacardi and Coke and snogged a few waiters, but essentially knew our boundaries. When I was 14 I also travelled alone on a ferry from Sweden to Hull. I was put on it at one end and met off it at the other but in the meantime I had 19 hours of fun at the bar and with a 17 year-old boy, I also recall

It amazes me the bad rap Bali gets on BE. Oz always has warnings against travel in Indonesia. Yes you can get Dengue - you can get it in Singapore too (another tale I've told many times). Rabies, well yes there is an epidemic, can't deny that one. We know to avoid animals, your daughter is old enough to understand that too.

Drugs and booze are everywhere, but I do appreciate that they're not your main concern. I'm not a parent but I do understand, so I say you go with your gut and accept your daughter will be a complete pain about it for a good while.

Siren & Brian

If your daughter can not see and appreciate your concerns then she is not mature enough to go.

ukecadet

I'm asuming you're talking about your daughter that went missing for a couple of day's.Well...if she's not going to be with any of the kids that were involved with that incident.And if you know and trust the parents.
I would brief them on her behavior of late and make sure they are prepared to keep a vigilant eye on her.If all agreed I would say yes.
It could be a very positive thing for you both.She'll probably come home full of it having had a great time.You will have missed her and hopefully she will have missed you.You can put that running away business behind you and start afresh.Go on cut her a bit of slack

ozzieeagle

We are talking about my 14YO nephew coming from Mkeynes to stay with us for a few weeks during the next few months or so. Just so our own 14 yo son can keep tabs with his cousin.


Twas my suggestion.

Dorothy

That's a bit different Pol. That's your neice, not a friend's child. You'll be in London, not Indonesia. London is not an overseas flight from her home, it's a couple of hours drive.

If we still lived in Canada and my sister wanted to take my kids to Ottawa for a few days I would have no problem with that. They're in their own country, with family, only a couple of hours away. Not overseas, not with friends, not a not so regular flight from Perth away.

TiddlyPom

I guess for me, it depends on how much I trust my daughter.

For me, my eldest is level headed, pretty mature for her age and depending on what the plans were, I'd let her go.
I'd want to have assurances that the kids were being chaperoned everywhere, that there were regular times of contact for her to ring me, etc.

Also it's about the family... are they nice people? How are their kids? Do you trust them to look after your daughter?

I've let my then 11 yr old go away on holiday with her little buddy in Australia. They had a ball together and I trusted our friend to look after them properly... but it still worried me so I totally get how you feel.
When I was 15 I went off to Spain with my boyfriend... his parents chaperoned us and we had a great time. When I was 13 I flew with my sister to Canada where we visited an Aunt. She let us go out to downtown Toronto and the beaches... When I think back, my mother said we were 'horrible' when we came back... but probably what had happened in the 6 weeks was actually just us growing up a bit and our mother didn't like it!

Is your daughter the one who ran away recently? This might be an opportunity for you and her to bond a little? She's looking for her independence and trying to grow up. I reckon it's the hardest thing to allow that. It's like cutting a little slack on the parenting ropes... but at some time, kids have to start growing up, and perhaps your allowance of her trip may just help that process.

Bottom line, do you trust her to get it right? Can you talk about that with her? Can she promise to behave herself and be responsible?

As for anything happening, I'd make sure she had extremely adequate medical insurance whilst there so if there were any slips, she can be adequately treated. But really, as you point out, anything can happen anywhere... esp where you live.

I think it would be an amazing experience for her...and for you... because you'll be allowing her that experience and that's a very powerful thing to do with a child. That's just my personal opinion though.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

eddie007

Sorry, I realise you want the opinion of Good Parents... And that aint me... According to the 007 brood.... But you'll get me tuppence ha'penny wirth any way

NO BLOODY WAY MATE


Its Bali.... HELLO!!!!

Remember the 15 year old arrested for drug use????

Hows about Gorgeouses mate who went for a walk to the beach and came back with a tattoo... At 14!

No matter HOW much you like the family its going to be two teens in Bali... Dont go there....

she has proven herself to be capeable of being bloody stoopid once this year.... Agreeing ti let her go would be madness on your part...

Best advice... Very calmly say no, sorry, its not happening.... not til you can pay your own legal bills....

i let Gorgeous, when he was the same age, go on a 3 week sailing/fishing trip up north with a mate and his family.... Its not the distance... Not the not trusting another family... Its the location.... Just NOT a good idea to let it happen....

scottishcelts

A big NO from me too NB, for all the same reasons everyone else is adding.

Good luck with your decision, because that is not an easy one.

DadAgain

Interesting.... a tricky problem

On the one hand I can see the concern, 14 is a bit young for solo travel in non-westernised countries.

But on the other hand - I was on school trips to Italy drinking cheap wine out of tetrapack whilst wandering up and down the seafront at Lido di Jesolo when I was 12?!, was completely smashed wandering around Interlaken in Switzerland at 14 and loved my 5 week orchestra tour of Australia staying with complete strangers on the other side of the planet when I was 16 - so who am I to deny a teenager a short holiday with a trusted family friend?

Is Bali really that rough? I think provided the holiday is a well planned 'resort style' do then it should be fine. Probably depends a lot on how much I trust the other family and how mature my daughter is.

Kooky.

My school trips to Europe were wild too - especially the all girl ones

macy

nobody looks after your child like you do, nobody. A much as they are probably a lovely family and as much as your teenager is not going to like it I wouldn't.