Left kids in the UK
Dec 15th 2007, 9:38 am
#46
Banned
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs (Little Britain)
Posts: 537
Dec 15th 2007, 11:09 am
#47
been there........
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 349
Re: Left kids in the UK
"If I could turn back the clock.........."
Would I have done anything differently? No, I don't think so. Dragging a resentful teenager half-way across the globe would have been unfair to her and unpleasant for the rest of the family. Should I have stayed? That would have meant either denying my husband and the rest of the family a great opportunity or breaking the marriage and staying in the UK as a single mother; again, unfair and unjust. Sometimes we find ourselves with a choice between two unpleasant alternatives; all we can do is choose as seems best and wisest at the time and live with the consequences of that choice.
Would I have done anything differently? No, I don't think so. Dragging a resentful teenager half-way across the globe would have been unfair to her and unpleasant for the rest of the family. Should I have stayed? That would have meant either denying my husband and the rest of the family a great opportunity or breaking the marriage and staying in the UK as a single mother; again, unfair and unjust. Sometimes we find ourselves with a choice between two unpleasant alternatives; all we can do is choose as seems best and wisest at the time and live with the consequences of that choice.
Dec 15th 2007, 1:00 pm
#48
Banned
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs (Little Britain)
Posts: 537
Re: Left kids in the UK
"If I could turn back the clock.........."
Would I have done anything differently? No, I don't think so. Dragging a resentful teenager half-way across the globe would have been unfair to her and unpleasant for the rest of the family. Should I have stayed? That would have meant either denying my husband and the rest of the family a great opportunity or breaking the marriage and staying in the UK as a single mother; again, unfair and unjust. Sometimes we find ourselves with a choice between two unpleasant alternatives; all we can do is choose as seems best and wisest at the time and live with the consequences of that choice.
Would I have done anything differently? No, I don't think so. Dragging a resentful teenager half-way across the globe would have been unfair to her and unpleasant for the rest of the family. Should I have stayed? That would have meant either denying my husband and the rest of the family a great opportunity or breaking the marriage and staying in the UK as a single mother; again, unfair and unjust. Sometimes we find ourselves with a choice between two unpleasant alternatives; all we can do is choose as seems best and wisest at the time and live with the consequences of that choice.
And to weigh up the possible 'better life' you might be giving two of your children, against the definitive abandonment of a third, I think you perhaps were a little blinkered, and cold hearted into conforming to the wishes of your husband.
Dec 15th 2007, 9:16 pm
#49
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 36
Re: Left kids in the UK
If a marriage fails because a partner refuses to migrate, then it's not a great marriage I'm afraid sweet heart.
And to weigh up the possible 'better life' you might be giving two of your children, against the definitive abandonment of a third, I think you perhaps were a little blinkered, and cold hearted into conforming to the wishes of your husband.
And to weigh up the possible 'better life' you might be giving two of your children, against the definitive abandonment of a third, I think you perhaps were a little blinkered, and cold hearted into conforming to the wishes of your husband.
I feel sorry for you in away,as it is you who are a little blinkered sweetheart.
If you think that sticking to your children like glue will mean that they will not abandon you in the future to live thier own lives as they want to and not how you want them to,must mean you live in cuckoo land.
I hope you realise how wrong you have been the day one of your children turns around to you and says they are moving to the other side of the world.
Mind you, you come across as a selfish person who would try and stop them living thier own lives.Good luck when the day comes.
Dec 15th 2007, 10:03 pm
#50
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Perth vagabonds ex yorkshire
Posts: 217
Re: Left kids in the UK
Hi Mandy,
We are migrating to Perth on 9th Feb. My 17 year old is not coming with us. Its so hard and heartbreaking to leave kids behind but they will make their own lives eventually. She told me and her dad to go and do what we want to do after all its only a plane ride away! Dont feel bad. You have to ignore negative people with negative comments who know nothing about your life and your family! Good luck to you and all
We are migrating to Perth on 9th Feb. My 17 year old is not coming with us. Its so hard and heartbreaking to leave kids behind but they will make their own lives eventually. She told me and her dad to go and do what we want to do after all its only a plane ride away! Dont feel bad. You have to ignore negative people with negative comments who know nothing about your life and your family! Good luck to you and all
Dec 15th 2007, 10:18 pm
#51
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,187
Re: Left kids in the UK
I did write a reply to Dom but thought, 'sod it, I can't be bothered', and put it down to a difference of opinion. The End 
Anyhow, nicolamoon, welcome aboard. Your daughter sound a very independent missy who knows her own mind, just like her mother
Mandy
Anyhow, nicolamoon, welcome aboard. Your daughter sound a very independent missy who knows her own mind, just like her mother
Mandy
Dec 15th 2007, 10:25 pm
#52
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Perth vagabonds ex yorkshire
Posts: 217
Re: Left kids in the UK
Yeah Mandy, kids put us thro lotsa stuff and we just have to be there for them. Even if it is at the other end of the world eh? Luv them to bits but at some point we have to put our marriages first cos kids will adapt and conform. My daughter is like me and im sure you will be absoloutely fine.
Dec 16th 2007, 2:55 am
#53
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 36
Re: Left kids in the UK
Hi Mandy,
We are migrating to Perth on 9th Feb. My 17 year old is not coming with us. Its so hard and heartbreaking to leave kids behind but they will make their own lives eventually. She told me and her dad to go and do what we want to do after all its only a plane ride away! Dont feel bad. You have to ignore negative people with negative comments who know nothing about your life and your family! Good luck to you and all
We are migrating to Perth on 9th Feb. My 17 year old is not coming with us. Its so hard and heartbreaking to leave kids behind but they will make their own lives eventually. She told me and her dad to go and do what we want to do after all its only a plane ride away! Dont feel bad. You have to ignore negative people with negative comments who know nothing about your life and your family! Good luck to you and all
I did want to ignore the negative comment,but i couldnt in the end.Its like you said they know nothing about the full details of our lives,so i feel they should not put us down for the huge sacrifice we have made.At least the others on here who have or are leaving kids behind can understand and thier posts can be a help and a support to us all in the same situation.
Dec 16th 2007, 6:00 am
#54
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Woop Woop
Posts: 4,808
Re: Left kids in the UK
[QUOTE=mandy1963;5672708]That comment is not welcome.We are all in a strong marriage,so strong that we have made these choices,and our children made thier choice to stay.
I agree with that - unfair unless you have been in that position. If you haven't bought the t-shirt then you really can't add anything to the value of how 'we parents are feeling' - can you?
I agree with that - unfair unless you have been in that position. If you haven't bought the t-shirt then you really can't add anything to the value of how 'we parents are feeling' - can you?
Dec 17th 2007, 3:06 am
#55
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: FROM LONDON, NOW MUDGEERABA GOLDCOAST.
Posts: 77
Re: Left kids in the UK
I THINK DOM THE POM OR I SHOLD SAY DUM THE POM" WOULD BE BETTER TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE IS SAYING BEFORE HE SAYS IT. :curse:
Nov 8th 2008, 12:06 pm
#56
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 99
Re: Left kids in the UK
Hi all mums,
I am posting this on an old thread but one that gave me such comfort knowing that there were other mums going thru the same as me when I felt so alone and guilty.
Since then I am sure that there are plenty of 'new' mums out there that are either some way down the track or are just starting their journey of guilt, pain and doubt. Well, if thats you then my post is dedicated to you.. a message of hope, inspiration and never giving up the dream..
Well it has taken nearly 4 years and a thousand boxes of kleenex but my daughter arrived 3 weeks ago on a one way ticket..she was 17 when we left she is now 21. HOORAY!!!!!!!
I am posting this on an old thread but one that gave me such comfort knowing that there were other mums going thru the same as me when I felt so alone and guilty.
Since then I am sure that there are plenty of 'new' mums out there that are either some way down the track or are just starting their journey of guilt, pain and doubt. Well, if thats you then my post is dedicated to you.. a message of hope, inspiration and never giving up the dream..
Well it has taken nearly 4 years and a thousand boxes of kleenex but my daughter arrived 3 weeks ago on a one way ticket..she was 17 when we left she is now 21. HOORAY!!!!!!!
Nov 8th 2008, 1:30 pm
#57
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Left kids in the UK
Hi all mums,
I am posting this on an old thread but one that gave me such comfort knowing that there were other mums going thru the same as me when I felt so alone and guilty.
Since then I am sure that there are plenty of 'new' mums out there that are either some way down the track or are just starting their journey of guilt, pain and doubt. Well, if thats you then my post is dedicated to you.. a message of hope, inspiration and never giving up the dream..
Well it has taken nearly 4 years and a thousand boxes of kleenex but my daughter arrived 3 weeks ago on a one way ticket..she was 17 when we left she is now 21. HOORAY!!!!!!!
I am posting this on an old thread but one that gave me such comfort knowing that there were other mums going thru the same as me when I felt so alone and guilty.
Since then I am sure that there are plenty of 'new' mums out there that are either some way down the track or are just starting their journey of guilt, pain and doubt. Well, if thats you then my post is dedicated to you.. a message of hope, inspiration and never giving up the dream..
Well it has taken nearly 4 years and a thousand boxes of kleenex but my daughter arrived 3 weeks ago on a one way ticket..she was 17 when we left she is now 21. HOORAY!!!!!!!
Nov 8th 2008, 1:32 pm
#58
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Perth vagabonds ex yorkshire
Posts: 217
Nov 9th 2008, 1:11 am
#59
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 99
Re: Left kids in the UK
Hi all mums,
I am posting this on an old thread but one that gave me such comfort knowing that there were other mums going thru the same as me when I felt so alone and guilty.
Since then I am sure that there are plenty of 'new' mums out there that are either some way down the track or are just starting their journey of guilt, pain and doubt. Well, if thats you then my post is dedicated to you.. a message of hope, inspiration and never giving up the dream..
Well it has taken nearly 4 years and a thousand boxes of kleenex but my daughter arrived 3 weeks ago on a one way ticket..she was 17 when we left she is now 21. HOORAY!!!!!!!
I am posting this on an old thread but one that gave me such comfort knowing that there were other mums going thru the same as me when I felt so alone and guilty.
Since then I am sure that there are plenty of 'new' mums out there that are either some way down the track or are just starting their journey of guilt, pain and doubt. Well, if thats you then my post is dedicated to you.. a message of hope, inspiration and never giving up the dream..
Well it has taken nearly 4 years and a thousand boxes of kleenex but my daughter arrived 3 weeks ago on a one way ticket..she was 17 when we left she is now 21. HOORAY!!!!!!!
Nov 9th 2008, 1:19 am
#60
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Re: Left kids in the UK
Thanx..its wonderful I feel as though I have won the lotto..but even better, I have to keep reminding myself that its real Ive dreamed so long and the icing on the cake is that she is lovin it..met a couple of other English kids her age and shes been out non stop partying..not in the slightest bit homesick..how much better can life be...hee hee!! xxx
That is just wonderful. I am so happy for you!