Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486676)

what do you want to know?

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486691)

oh yes, it all comes through on my transfribulator machine and is noted for future reference

Originally Posted by asher (Post 5486694)

I want to know next weeks winning lottery numbers:thumbsup:

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486689)

sure

Originally Posted by curly (Post 5486702)

damn

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486709)

does anyone use the activity ticker? it tells me what you write regardless of what colour you write it in

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486704)

i'll tell you on sunday if you give me back what's mine

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486709)

does anyone use the activity ticker? it tells me what you write regardless of what colour you write it in

Originally Posted by samnsam (Post 5486706)

*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
because we want to believe that we still have control


*Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
because they're stupid


*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
because they're stupid


*Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
because the molecules that make up the surface of the bottle don't get along with those in the glue and so they won't hold hands


*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
because they're american


*Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
because the animators at disney ran out of black ink


*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
ask the duck


*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
it says so in the safety book


*Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
not mine


*If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
they're the clever ones that watched planet of the apes and are waiting for their day


*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
bubbles are actually colourless, you just think they're all white


*Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
tuesday


*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
if we don't have hope then we'd still be apes


*Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
women


*Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
turn them up the other way


*How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
they're put there by the manufacturers so pepople could ask silly questions about it


*When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
cos you'd get arrested if you did what i did


*Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
don't be so clumsy

ok now can you answer them Lol :D

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486742)

any more?

Originally Posted by samnsam (Post 5486706)

*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
cos we are thick


*Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
cos they are robbers


*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

cos you cant check up on the stars but you can the paint :lol:

*Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
because it doesnt stick glass


*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

just in case

*Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

he shaves with his knife dont you remember seeing Johnny weismuller doing that

*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

cos hesreally a wimp

*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

to stop their thoughts escaping

*Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Nazis



*If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

cos some men just are

*Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
scum


*Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

xmas
*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

cos if you get lucky the fridge fairy will have been

*Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
cos they are stoopid


*Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

the manufacturers little joke

*How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

they are put in there when they are made

*When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

because we were brought up to be polite if we dont we will be collected by the men in white coats

*Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off

the table you always manage to knock something else over?

murphys law

ok now can you answer them Lol :D

Originally Posted by samnsam (Post 5486753)

excellent :rofl: PMSL
didnt think you would actually answer them, Gedge you are a god ;)
Karma on its way
Sam x

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486760)

i wouldn't go that far, i'm just a man with a tea cosy

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486760)

i wouldn't go that far, i'm just a man with a tea cosy

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5486760)

i wouldn't go that far, i'm just a man with a tea cosy