A vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel receptionist "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled". She replies "No sir, its just regular porn, you sick bastard".

I'll get me coat...

not bad..

Haha!!

Not bad

Why wouldn't he just not access the porn channel.

Also the porn channels are pay per view, so he'd have to select a channel he shouldn't select, then pay for porn that he doesn't want.

Hmmmm, sorry unrealistic premise for a joke. Might as well say a horse walks into a bar, barman says, why the long face,

JTL

On the subject of porn suitable for a vicar...no flesh but damn funny!

http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=349ffa2b

Don't know if that will last long, but I agree that is Funny as ....

ha someone has spent a while doing that haven't they!

Dougie

You obviously speak from experience

D'you know.... i have never understood that joke!

I just don't get whats funny about it....anyone else?

Horse >>>>>>in a bar >>>>>>>with a really long............ah forget it i prefer the one where the man walks into the bar and says OW!

Dougie

eh????

jezzzus you are hard work

I was just trying to explain the horse with a really tall head on which his face is placed and therefore this may be consieved as haveing a long face?

and the man walks into a bar and hurts himself and so says OW! you catch the drift (it was actually a metal bar he walked into but when you hear it you think a pub/inn/bar till it dawns on you)
just silly little one liners that seem to make silly little minds like mine chuckle

HTH
Dougie

I do try!!

OK, sort of get it, do you have to be under the influence to laugh at them then?? will try it next time i'm plastered...

PMSL

This has all the makings of a classic BE thread

Ok - try this then!

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'

The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.

My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet. The MD's waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice, said, 'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door.

Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!