It's over....

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Old Jan 17th 2009, 8:16 pm
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Default It's over....

Well guys after 2 years of planning alot of money and stress, I have finallly took off the rose tinted glasses and thrown in the towel. I dont have the energy to pursue this anymore. For the last 2 years all I have thought and spoke about is moving to australia, researching areas to live, schools, houes, jobs, spending hours on BE. All the time not realising what is was costing me. I havnt spoken to my parents for almost 2 years as they didnt approve of our decision to emigrate, and disowned me, at the time I thought stuff em, our new life in oz will make up for it, kidding myself that I could live without seeing them again. I was wrong, although i didnt get on with my parents as well as we should have they are still my parents, and i have lost them forever, they have ignored my attempts to reconsile. Then there was the court process to get permission to take my daughters, it went on for 6 long months, all the time I was moaning about how stressful it all was for me, selfishly not giving a second thought about what was best for my kids, having to have interviews with cafcass officers, taking them to the other side of the world away from everything they know and love including their dad was a small sacrifice for this 'better life' that oz had in store for them. I am now on the verge of losing my husband, we are constantly arguing over it, my life has again been taken over by hours on the internet doing my 'research', I just assumed that the rest of the family wanted to go, originally they did, but when i looked at my eldest daughter after she had witnessed yet another argument, I could see the upset I was causing, she has gone though enough in her short life, without seeing that. What is the most amusing thing is that we havnt even got our visas yet, so we get a NO, i have lost my friends and my family, caused my children upset, for a place I have never been to, and know nothing about.

You get drawn in by all the hype, and it may be reality to some people but for myself It is too high a price to put on a gamble. The excitement has gone and it's time to get on with the life I have here and now.

Good luck to everyone who is in the process of applying of emigrating, I wish you all the best for the future x
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 8:20 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

what an honest and refreshing post - good on you for having the courage to stand back and admit all that.
good luck for your future, i take my hat off to you.

sue x

ps sometimes you need to take a complete step back to re-evaluate what you have in the here and now, to be able to work out if aus really is for you.
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 8:25 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

Originally Posted by tiredwithtwins
what an honest and refreshing post - good on you for having the courage to stand back and admit all that.
good luck for your future, i take my hat off to you.

sue x

ps sometimes you need to take a complete step back to re-evaluate what you have in the here and now, to be able to work out if aus really is for you.
hello
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 8:50 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

[QUOTE=tiredwithtwins;7181519]what an honest and refreshing post - good on you for having the courage to stand back and admit all that.
good luck for your future, i take my hat off to you.

sue x

QUOTE]

Well said Sue my thoughts exactly


Good luck to you and yours badassbrickie


Dougie

Last edited by Dougie; Jan 17th 2009 at 8:53 pm.
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 8:58 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

I'm sorry to read of all your troubles - I sincerely hope you can put all this behind you and rebuild all your relationships, you must be a strong and loving person to do what you are doing. Best of luck
S xx
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 9:11 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

Originally Posted by badassbrickie
Well guys after 2 years of planning alot of money and stress, I have finallly took off the rose tinted glasses and thrown in the towel. I dont have the energy to pursue this anymore. For the last 2 years all I have thought and spoke about is moving to australia, researching areas to live, schools, houes, jobs, spending hours on BE. All the time not realising what is was costing me. I havnt spoken to my parents for almost 2 years as they didnt approve of our decision to emigrate, and disowned me, at the time I thought stuff em, our new life in oz will make up for it, kidding myself that I could live without seeing them again. I was wrong, although i didnt get on with my parents as well as we should have they are still my parents, and i have lost them forever, they have ignored my attempts to reconsile. Then there was the court process to get permission to take my daughters, it went on for 6 long months, all the time I was moaning about how stressful it all was for me, selfishly not giving a second thought about what was best for my kids, having to have interviews with cafcass officers, taking them to the other side of the world away from everything they know and love including their dad was a small sacrifice for this 'better life' that oz had in store for them. I am now on the verge of losing my husband, we are constantly arguing over it, my life has again been taken over by hours on the internet doing my 'research', I just assumed that the rest of the family wanted to go, originally they did, but when i looked at my eldest daughter after she had witnessed yet another argument, I could see the upset I was causing, she has gone though enough in her short life, without seeing that. What is the most amusing thing is that we havnt even got our visas yet, so we get a NO, i have lost my friends and my family, caused my children upset, for a place I have never been to, and know nothing about.

You get drawn in by all the hype, and it may be reality to some people but for myself It is too high a price to put on a gamble. The excitement has gone and it's time to get on with the life I have here and now.

Good luck to everyone who is in the process of applying of emigrating, I wish you all the best for the future x
Sorry to hear of your troubles badass, I think it's for the best, we came to within a hairsbreadth of losing everything over in Aus, the UK threw us a lifeline and we haven't looked back. It's not a better place than the UK, merely different
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 9:56 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

Originally Posted by badassbrickie
Well guys after 2 years of planning alot of money and stress, I have finallly took off the rose tinted glasses and thrown in the towel.
There's no two ways about it - emigrating is a stressful process that takes its toll on everyone. Best of luck rebuilding your bridges in the UK.
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 10:51 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

Hope it's a huge weight off your shoulders. Well done for making what was probably a very hard decision. Hope you can build bridges with your parents. Good luck to you.
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 11:33 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

Originally Posted by WelshRanger
Sorry to hear of your troubles badass, I think it's for the best, we came to within a hairsbreadth of losing everything over in Aus, the UK threw us a lifeline and we haven't looked back. It's not a better place than the UK, merely different
This is probably one of the truest statements ever. Australia is not better than any other western country, just different.

Badass, I'm really glad for all of your sakes that you have taken a step back and seen what's really important in your life. I wish you all the best and hope that you are able to mend some fences with your family. It may take some time, but as they say, time is a healer.
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Old Jan 17th 2009, 11:39 pm
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Default Re: It's over....

I am so sorry that your plans have all come down around your ears and you see how the stresses of impending migration are impacting on those you love and care about. All the best with rebuilding the bridges that seem to have suffered through lack of care and attention while you have been concentrating on getting here. With luck, pouring as much energy back into that will see you all happy and reconciled before too long.

All the best!
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Old Jan 18th 2009, 9:37 am
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Default Re: It's over....

It is easy to get caught up in the whole process and lose sight of "reality" and if your children have a good relationship with their dad, you've probably made the right decision. However, having got so close to the visa, unless you really can't find the money, I'd recommend you have a holiday in Oz to validate and that will at least give you five years to make a decision whether to make the move or not. A lot can change in five years - none of us know what the future holds - and keeping your options open is the best way to go IMO.
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