Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Jul 22nd 2008, 11:16 am
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Ferny Hills, Brisbane
Posts: 149
Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Just thought I'd post to see if anyone else has had similar experiences on moving their little ones.
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
Jul 22nd 2008, 12:09 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 374
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Just thought I'd post to see if anyone else has had similar experiences on moving their little ones.
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
I'm sorry to hear that you and your littlun are not having a great time of it. We have PR, moved out to Perth in 2004 and then moved back to the UK about 18 months later. We have contemplating of the last couple of months as to whether we could make another go of it, our visa runs out May 2009.
We have an 20 month old daughter, and although whe's younger than your boy, we had really given any thought to her having trouble adjusting to life in Oz. Have kinda taken it for granted that it wouldn't be too much of an issue for her. Thanks for your post, it's certainly food for thought.
Apart from the boy, what other issues are you having, if you don't mind me asking...?
Thanks - IJ
Jul 22nd 2008, 12:23 pm
#3
Account Closed
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,375
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Believe me when I say this ...
He will adapt far quicker than you ... FACT. Give the wee man time.
Quite profound that coming from moi.
3
He will adapt far quicker than you ... FACT. Give the wee man time.
Quite profound that coming from moi.
3
Just thought I'd post to see if anyone else has had similar experiences on moving their little ones.
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
Jul 22nd 2008, 12:30 pm
#4
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Ferny Hills, Brisbane
Posts: 149
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Re: Children
I also have a 2 year old and she seems ok with it all, if thats any help. A little bit more clingy but she was majorly clingy anyway.
Other issues:
Difficult to break into already formed friendship groups (those formed during Mother Groups). This applies in UK as well, by the time your little un is 2 you have already probally already got some great 'Mother' friends and have life established into a routine, so people you meet at playgroups are not necessarily on the lookout for friends, just something to occupy the children and give you a break.
Daycare is very different from the UK, so don't expect it to be the same. Its childminding and coming from a UK mentality thats quite difficult to grasp.
My little boy is not keen, I think its because he is used to something more focused on the individual child.
Getting a place in a C& K kindergarden is very difficult in my area. Most mums have babs name down practically from birth. I think its possible though but you have to be proactive as soon as you get here.
I'm sure you know Australians are very different to brits and that can pose challenges.
Positives
He adores his trampoline and being outside
Loves Brisbane City Beach
Loves The Wiggles and Play School
I also have a 2 year old and she seems ok with it all, if thats any help. A little bit more clingy but she was majorly clingy anyway.
Other issues:
Difficult to break into already formed friendship groups (those formed during Mother Groups). This applies in UK as well, by the time your little un is 2 you have already probally already got some great 'Mother' friends and have life established into a routine, so people you meet at playgroups are not necessarily on the lookout for friends, just something to occupy the children and give you a break.
Daycare is very different from the UK, so don't expect it to be the same. Its childminding and coming from a UK mentality thats quite difficult to grasp.
My little boy is not keen, I think its because he is used to something more focused on the individual child.
Getting a place in a C& K kindergarden is very difficult in my area. Most mums have babs name down practically from birth. I think its possible though but you have to be proactive as soon as you get here.
I'm sure you know Australians are very different to brits and that can pose challenges.
Positives
He adores his trampoline and being outside
Loves Brisbane City Beach
Loves The Wiggles and Play School
Jul 22nd 2008, 12:31 pm
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Ayr then Hampshire; Now Beaumaris, Melbourne
Posts: 1,034
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Karen,
We moved to Melbourne 3 years ago when my son was 3 and my daughter was 5. Both left very close friends behind. My daughter went straight into the final term of prep and then year 1 so she was able to meet friends, go to school socialise etc. With our son we had problems finding a kinder or nursery and for the first few months he just stayed home with my wife.
Fortunately she made friends through the Mums she met when dropping off/picking up my daughter, however few of the Mums had sons. So whilst my wife was able to socialise he wasn't.
Although we eventually found a kinder for him and a nursery he didn't really make any friends and never had anyone round or was invited to theirs. After 5 months it began to worry us, especially as school was still a year or so away. My wife spent a lot of time with him, varied what they did and gave him a little education as well to keep him stimulated.
He also hated the kinder and cried everytime we dropped him off. It was pretty soul destroying. We moved him to a different kinder but he hated that one too and it also had a few noisy/feral kids that made it worse. We decided to persevere with it, especially as my wife had picked up a couple of days work.
However in time my wife made more friends and he soon made new friends and we realised that perhaps we'd been unrealistic in expecting him to make friends at 3. We realised that his friendships here (and back in the UK) had come through my wife making friends with boys of a similar age.
He's now at school, in prep, and absolutely loving it. He's incredbily sociable, very popular and a very happy wee soul. He had a difficult 3-6 months after we arrived but looking back now it was such a short part of his life and perhaps we worried a little too much and it worked out for us.
We also found that we struggled to make friends in the first 4-6 months. We then found 3 or 4 couples who we became very close with and spent too much time with them. 3 years later we rarely see the couples we initially befriended - I think we were too keen to make friends that perhaps we were simply not suited. 3 years later we now have a great network of like minded friends, which is terrific for the kids.
Keep doing what you are doing, try to make friends, join clubs etc where you will meet people in a similar situation. Keep him occupied, happy and loved. It will improve and in time it will be fine.
Make the most of your time here and enjoy the experience.
Good luck.
Col
We moved to Melbourne 3 years ago when my son was 3 and my daughter was 5. Both left very close friends behind. My daughter went straight into the final term of prep and then year 1 so she was able to meet friends, go to school socialise etc. With our son we had problems finding a kinder or nursery and for the first few months he just stayed home with my wife.
Fortunately she made friends through the Mums she met when dropping off/picking up my daughter, however few of the Mums had sons. So whilst my wife was able to socialise he wasn't.
Although we eventually found a kinder for him and a nursery he didn't really make any friends and never had anyone round or was invited to theirs. After 5 months it began to worry us, especially as school was still a year or so away. My wife spent a lot of time with him, varied what they did and gave him a little education as well to keep him stimulated.
He also hated the kinder and cried everytime we dropped him off. It was pretty soul destroying. We moved him to a different kinder but he hated that one too and it also had a few noisy/feral kids that made it worse. We decided to persevere with it, especially as my wife had picked up a couple of days work.
However in time my wife made more friends and he soon made new friends and we realised that perhaps we'd been unrealistic in expecting him to make friends at 3. We realised that his friendships here (and back in the UK) had come through my wife making friends with boys of a similar age.
He's now at school, in prep, and absolutely loving it. He's incredbily sociable, very popular and a very happy wee soul. He had a difficult 3-6 months after we arrived but looking back now it was such a short part of his life and perhaps we worried a little too much and it worked out for us.
We also found that we struggled to make friends in the first 4-6 months. We then found 3 or 4 couples who we became very close with and spent too much time with them. 3 years later we rarely see the couples we initially befriended - I think we were too keen to make friends that perhaps we were simply not suited. 3 years later we now have a great network of like minded friends, which is terrific for the kids.
Keep doing what you are doing, try to make friends, join clubs etc where you will meet people in a similar situation. Keep him occupied, happy and loved. It will improve and in time it will be fine.
Make the most of your time here and enjoy the experience.
Good luck.
Col
Jul 22nd 2008, 12:35 pm
#6
No Clean Feed
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Hampton, Victoria
Posts: 1,381
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
I would agree with that. Our two had loads of friends in the UK when they moved at ages 5 and 7 and frankly they got over them in a matter of weeks/months. They still talk about them from time to time but it's not as if these are life long friendships were talking about. They are incredibly young and pick up and drop friends like crayons.
I am the last person to give parenting advice but from a parent who has been through this recently the only thing I can say is that he will adapt and the best thing you can do is not treat the situation any differently than you would him moving to another school in the UK. You will also have an impact on him if you are bringing up the subject of missing your friends a lot. Down play the topic and subtly change the subject if/when he raises it. Ask him about his day at daycare, etc.
Perhaps he has an edetic memory because at 3 I would be pretty impressed that he has remembered them in this sort of detail for more than a few weeks after leaving the country.
Al
I am the last person to give parenting advice but from a parent who has been through this recently the only thing I can say is that he will adapt and the best thing you can do is not treat the situation any differently than you would him moving to another school in the UK. You will also have an impact on him if you are bringing up the subject of missing your friends a lot. Down play the topic and subtly change the subject if/when he raises it. Ask him about his day at daycare, etc.
Perhaps he has an edetic memory because at 3 I would be pretty impressed that he has remembered them in this sort of detail for more than a few weeks after leaving the country.
Al
Jul 22nd 2008, 12:41 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Ferny Hills, Brisbane
Posts: 149
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
[QUOTE=haggis supper;6598029]
Thanks Col,
Its so distressing when its your kids as they can't describe what they are feeling. You just have to guess.
Here's hoping he gets into a good kindy. (Got his name down at 5, although he is pretty low down on the list at all of them.)
There does seem to be a shortage of boys of the right age either that or they are pretty wild.
You've given me some strength to keep going.
Thanks Col,
Its so distressing when its your kids as they can't describe what they are feeling. You just have to guess.
Here's hoping he gets into a good kindy. (Got his name down at 5, although he is pretty low down on the list at all of them.)
There does seem to be a shortage of boys of the right age either that or they are pretty wild.
You've given me some strength to keep going.
Jul 22nd 2008, 12:50 pm
#8
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Aylesbury
Posts: 29
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Hello,
I thought I would Reply because it seems to me that maybe you are more unhappy than your son.
I am an army wife with three children and when my youngest was about 3and a half we moved to NI, I found it really hard but I said then and have done since, every time we move, give it 3-6 months before judging, and try not to compare everything.
I will probably be eating my words though (HOPEFULY!!!!!!)as we are trying to transfer to australian army.
Good luck and keep your chin up.
Annette
I thought I would Reply because it seems to me that maybe you are more unhappy than your son.
I am an army wife with three children and when my youngest was about 3and a half we moved to NI, I found it really hard but I said then and have done since, every time we move, give it 3-6 months before judging, and try not to compare everything.
I will probably be eating my words though (HOPEFULY!!!!!!)as we are trying to transfer to australian army.
Good luck and keep your chin up.
Annette
Jul 22nd 2008, 1:11 pm
#9
Gutter Gob!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 13,098
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Just thought I'd post to see if anyone else has had similar experiences on moving their little ones.
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
My 3 year old boy was quite a placid chap in the UK, settled and had quite a number of other little ones he would class as his friends from Nursery and my friends kiddies who we'd see at least once a week. He'd known them since a few months old and was comfortable with the realisation that they were his group of pals when we left.
Most of the boys we have met and at his daycare are quite 'Raaaah' and I think my boy now thinks he has to be 'raaah' to fit in. Not that he couldn't be really noisy and boisterous but he always had a quieter side. That appears to be ebbing away. Can't decide whether its an age thing or he has been affected by the move.
On another issue, it is absolutely soul destroying to hear him say he doesn't have any friends here and any little ones he comes across in the park, he is desperate to invite back to play with. (We do many playgroups etc.)
When we talk about all the friends he has in the UK, he is either starting to forget (only been here 4 months) or is blanking it out. When I talk to my pals in the UK & his friends, he won't talk to them and you can visibly see him get upset.
He seems to be dealing with the change very badly, but I suppose we have a lot to do with it as well as we are not exactly loving it, although we try to keep that talk out of his earshot.
i am desperately trying to meet people fro my baba's sake, but as in my previous post this is not easy, especially when he was so close to his UK pals.
Interested to hear any experiences?
Good luck, things don't come easy you have to work at them.
PS I agree with everything haggis said.
Jul 22nd 2008, 1:49 pm
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 398
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
We moved to Perth when our eldest was nearly 5 and just about to start school in the uk. She started in pre-primary a few weeks after we arrived and I think it was the most soul destroying time. She'd been at a fantastic nursery in England and we were very sad to leave as we had so many friends. When we first arrived no one spoke to me at drop off/pick up time and I thought everyone was being unfriendly. I put my name down to go on excursions with the class- which was brave as I really disliked the scary teacher who had a real problem with E being able to read! But it was then that I was told that because we'd arrived in the middle of the term everyone thought we'd been there all the time and they were embarrassed cos they thought they should know me! Then my social life, with my two younger girls began. It was hard to start with, because like you I had a three yr old and there was nothing for her to do and I had a baby too. That first summer holiday was the longest, loneliest time (we'd been there 4 months) and I'd quite happily have got on a plane home. Once school started properly though it was completely different. E loved it, I made new friends and the new teacher was lovely. We started our own 'playgroup', meeting every Monday at each others houses with our younger kids.
My older two talked about their old friends and we used to send them postcards and they'd draw pictures for them. We came back to the uk for an extended holiday after a year and they saw all their old mates, but they were ready to go back to oz to see their new ones when the hol was over.
Your little boy will settle and make friends and so will you. I'm sure the 'raaah'
thing is a mix of boisterousness and feeling unsettled. It may also be an age thing, although my youngest daughter goes to Cubs (UK) and almost without exception the boys are still very 'raaah' at the age of 10 or 11!!
Good luck, I really feel for you. I know what it's like.
Where in Cheshire are you from? I was brought up there - Mobberley, before it was taken over by footballers!
C
My older two talked about their old friends and we used to send them postcards and they'd draw pictures for them. We came back to the uk for an extended holiday after a year and they saw all their old mates, but they were ready to go back to oz to see their new ones when the hol was over.
Your little boy will settle and make friends and so will you. I'm sure the 'raaah'
thing is a mix of boisterousness and feeling unsettled. It may also be an age thing, although my youngest daughter goes to Cubs (UK) and almost without exception the boys are still very 'raaah' at the age of 10 or 11!!
Good luck, I really feel for you. I know what it's like.
Where in Cheshire are you from? I was brought up there - Mobberley, before it was taken over by footballers!
C
Jul 23rd 2008, 12:52 am
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: From SE Wales to SE Queensland.
Posts: 1,478
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
Re: Children
I also have a 2 year old and she seems ok with it all, if thats any help. A little bit more clingy but she was majorly clingy anyway.
Other issues:
Difficult to break into already formed friendship groups (those formed during Mother Groups). This applies in UK as well, by the time your little un is 2 you have already probally already got some great 'Mother' friends and have life established into a routine, so people you meet at playgroups are not necessarily on the lookout for friends, just something to occupy the children and give you a break.
Daycare is very different from the UK, so don't expect it to be the same. Its childminding and coming from a UK mentality thats quite difficult to grasp.
My little boy is not keen, I think its because he is used to something more focused on the individual child.
Getting a place in a C& K kindergarden is very difficult in my area. Most mums have babs name down practically from birth. I think its possible though but you have to be proactive as soon as you get here.
I'm sure you know Australians are very different to brits and that can pose challenges.
Positives
He adores his trampoline and being outside
Loves Brisbane City Beach
Loves The Wiggles and Play School
I also have a 2 year old and she seems ok with it all, if thats any help. A little bit more clingy but she was majorly clingy anyway.
Other issues:
Difficult to break into already formed friendship groups (those formed during Mother Groups). This applies in UK as well, by the time your little un is 2 you have already probally already got some great 'Mother' friends and have life established into a routine, so people you meet at playgroups are not necessarily on the lookout for friends, just something to occupy the children and give you a break.
Daycare is very different from the UK, so don't expect it to be the same. Its childminding and coming from a UK mentality thats quite difficult to grasp.
My little boy is not keen, I think its because he is used to something more focused on the individual child.
Getting a place in a C& K kindergarden is very difficult in my area. Most mums have babs name down practically from birth. I think its possible though but you have to be proactive as soon as you get here.
I'm sure you know Australians are very different to brits and that can pose challenges.
Positives
He adores his trampoline and being outside
Loves Brisbane City Beach
Loves The Wiggles and Play School
Its difficult being the 'new kid on the block' with kids of any age!! You really have to put yourself out there and make the effort to engage in conversation with the other mums etc.. after all, youre the one looking to make friends!!
Why not start a new thread on here for mums with young bubs to meet up with you at a park or something....
I started a thread for mums without kids during the day to meet for lunch when I had only been here a week and was lucky enough to have met my 2 closest friends that day!!
I agree that your sadness will be picked up on by your son... maybe he is worried about you you know!!!
Which part of brissy are you at?
Jul 23rd 2008, 1:02 am
#12
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 106
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
When you think about how tough it is for us adults to make the move, it is no surprise that our kids whatever their age find it difficult too. When we moved although we got everything up and running and "normal" pretty quickly the hidden stress levels on us were through the roof and did have an impact on our kids.
We purposefully decided not to discuss friends, missing home etc with the kids, especially as we had no intention of returning to the UK. Occasionally they would mention friends and could they write/call them, but as we know friends move on we let it all slip under the carpet. Might be tough, but for us it seemed like the best answer.
Our youngest was 5 and has always been a sociable happy joker with bundles of confidence, but some mornings getting him to walk through the classroom door was a struggle. I think it took him at least a term to stop playing up in class and almost a year to find some real friendships. It all takes time.
Try and put things into perspective your little one is only 3 and had a lot of changes ahead of him anyway, nursery kids change, nursery workers change, friends fall out or move away and in a years time in the UK he would have been starting school, so more change. Kids adapt more quickly than we give them credit, it just takes time for them assimilate all the change at once.
Making new friends is really hard work but your son has the right idea, invite them over for a play (sorry I'm assuming you have felt uncomfortable doing this as you don't know the mums well enough) but they are unlikely to take the first step. As mum you need to be bold and honest with the mums at playgroup and explain that you are new to Oz and your son is keen to make friends, you'll be surprised at home nice some people can be.
We purposefully decided not to discuss friends, missing home etc with the kids, especially as we had no intention of returning to the UK. Occasionally they would mention friends and could they write/call them, but as we know friends move on we let it all slip under the carpet. Might be tough, but for us it seemed like the best answer.
Our youngest was 5 and has always been a sociable happy joker with bundles of confidence, but some mornings getting him to walk through the classroom door was a struggle. I think it took him at least a term to stop playing up in class and almost a year to find some real friendships. It all takes time.
Try and put things into perspective your little one is only 3 and had a lot of changes ahead of him anyway, nursery kids change, nursery workers change, friends fall out or move away and in a years time in the UK he would have been starting school, so more change. Kids adapt more quickly than we give them credit, it just takes time for them assimilate all the change at once.
Making new friends is really hard work but your son has the right idea, invite them over for a play (sorry I'm assuming you have felt uncomfortable doing this as you don't know the mums well enough) but they are unlikely to take the first step. As mum you need to be bold and honest with the mums at playgroup and explain that you are new to Oz and your son is keen to make friends, you'll be surprised at home nice some people can be.
Jul 23rd 2008, 2:55 am
#13
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 516
Re: Impact of moving on my 3 year old boy
When you think about how tough it is for us adults to make the move, it is no surprise that our kids whatever their age find it difficult too. When we moved although we got everything up and running and "normal" pretty quickly the hidden stress levels on us were through the roof and did have an impact on our kids.
We purposefully decided not to discuss friends, missing home etc with the kids, especially as we had no intention of returning to the UK. Occasionally they would mention friends and could they write/call them, but as we know friends move on we let it all slip under the carpet. Might be tough, but for us it seemed like the best answer.
Our youngest was 5 and has always been a sociable happy joker with bundles of confidence, but some mornings getting him to walk through the classroom door was a struggle. I think it took him at least a term to stop playing up in class and almost a year to find some real friendships. It all takes time.
Try and put things into perspective your little one is only 3 and had a lot of changes ahead of him anyway, nursery kids change, nursery workers change, friends fall out or move away and in a years time in the UK he would have been starting school, so more change. Kids adapt more quickly than we give them credit, it just takes time for them assimilate all the change at once.
Making new friends is really hard work but your son has the right idea, invite them over for a play (sorry I'm assuming you have felt uncomfortable doing this as you don't know the mums well enough) but they are unlikely to take the first step. As mum you need to be bold and honest with the mums at playgroup and explain that you are new to Oz and your son is keen to make friends, you'll be surprised at home nice some people can be.
We purposefully decided not to discuss friends, missing home etc with the kids, especially as we had no intention of returning to the UK. Occasionally they would mention friends and could they write/call them, but as we know friends move on we let it all slip under the carpet. Might be tough, but for us it seemed like the best answer.
Our youngest was 5 and has always been a sociable happy joker with bundles of confidence, but some mornings getting him to walk through the classroom door was a struggle. I think it took him at least a term to stop playing up in class and almost a year to find some real friendships. It all takes time.
Try and put things into perspective your little one is only 3 and had a lot of changes ahead of him anyway, nursery kids change, nursery workers change, friends fall out or move away and in a years time in the UK he would have been starting school, so more change. Kids adapt more quickly than we give them credit, it just takes time for them assimilate all the change at once.
Making new friends is really hard work but your son has the right idea, invite them over for a play (sorry I'm assuming you have felt uncomfortable doing this as you don't know the mums well enough) but they are unlikely to take the first step. As mum you need to be bold and honest with the mums at playgroup and explain that you are new to Oz and your son is keen to make friends, you'll be surprised at home nice some people can be.
We moved over when my son was 3, we loved it here straight away and we soon met up with people in the park and at the preschool he started attending the following year, when I look back at how it affected him and what he remembers it's pretty much the same as me at that age which is not an awful lot. As I have read one of your previous posts and understand that you are not enjoying brisbane I would imagine that you are suffering far more from this move than your little boy. I would agree that its not easy to make friends at our age, we don't often have people walking up to us in our late 30's and saying "will you be my friend"!. Its such a shame that you haven't enjoyed your experience in Brissy but its not for everyone and your life over here will soon be distant memory in a couple of years, good luck for the future
