How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
May 14th 2012, 9:29 pm
#31
Im a woomaaan
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,978
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
As a parent who got kicked off a bus because her then 3yr old was having a major screaming tantrum because I wouldn`t give her a sweet I`d probably be sympathetic. Trouble is when a kid is older people might think it`s just bad/rude behaviour, probably not even considering that there may be a deeper reason and lets be honest most people love to judge others and be holier than thou - old women are by far the worst for that!
Hang in there Mandy
Hang in there Mandy
May 14th 2012, 9:56 pm
#32
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Canada->WA->Melbourne
Posts: 1,612
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
Oh, we've all been there.
I assume, when the kicking off is at a level that is stratospheric that it might be more than "just playing up," and always give the benefit of the doubt. I don't step in because I figure that the parent knows what they're doing. I know some folks are well meaning, but sometimes it doesn't help. My daughter is more anxious than most kids. She just is. If she's in the midst of one of her episodes, the last thing she needs is some bystander wading in trying to calm her down, telling her she has nothing to worry about (ha, that never works).
My kids were flipping out once in the health food store because they wanted a lolly (they knew the staff kept treats for kids behind the counter) and even though I said "No, no, no," the salesperson handed them out. Nice way to undermine parenting. The kids knew it too. The woman meant well...she was young so might not have had kids yet, but in being nice, she just contradicted me.
In any case, I wouldn't shoot daggers at the parent or give them dirty looks. What good does that do? Reminds me of the ones on the airplane getting all bent out of shape because a baby is bawling in pain from its eardrums.
I assume, when the kicking off is at a level that is stratospheric that it might be more than "just playing up," and always give the benefit of the doubt. I don't step in because I figure that the parent knows what they're doing. I know some folks are well meaning, but sometimes it doesn't help. My daughter is more anxious than most kids. She just is. If she's in the midst of one of her episodes, the last thing she needs is some bystander wading in trying to calm her down, telling her she has nothing to worry about (ha, that never works).
My kids were flipping out once in the health food store because they wanted a lolly (they knew the staff kept treats for kids behind the counter) and even though I said "No, no, no," the salesperson handed them out. Nice way to undermine parenting. The kids knew it too. The woman meant well...she was young so might not have had kids yet, but in being nice, she just contradicted me.
In any case, I wouldn't shoot daggers at the parent or give them dirty looks. What good does that do? Reminds me of the ones on the airplane getting all bent out of shape because a baby is bawling in pain from its eardrums.
May 14th 2012, 9:58 pm
#33
Joined: May 2006
Location: in the Sydney asylum
Posts: 20,690
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
I would go chat to the Mum and ignore the Kid
My Aspie son is an adult and still has major melt downs, he told everyone at echo point in NSW that we were evil parents who had abandoned their child in a foreign country, as we left him to calm down whilst we parked the car, we had told him this too
My Aspie son is an adult and still has major melt downs, he told everyone at echo point in NSW that we were evil parents who had abandoned their child in a foreign country, as we left him to calm down whilst we parked the car, we had told him this too
May 14th 2012, 10:25 pm
#34
MODERATOR
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Province of Vicenza
Posts: 19,049
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
And old Italian women can't keep their big gobs shut.
One told my daughter she needed shoes on her cold, little feet. It was August, 38°C. She was 3 months old and in a pram and not bloody likely to get up and start walking.
One told me not to let my son play too much at the park because it's bad for them to get sweaty.
Plenty of them told my daughter when she was younger how weird/strange/unusual it was for such a dark haired girl to have a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Nearly gave the poor kid a complex.
One asked if my very dark girl and my blonde boy were siblings. When I replied 'yes' she muttered "well they might be - but not from the same father." She very nearly got smacked.
Another told me to let the little darlings have a lollypop and not to be a meany mother - brutta mamma! Bad move that day as I turned and in front of the whole shop loudly said,
"Will you mind your own business please. You don't know if my kids have already had a lollypop today or sweets or crisps or if they have had 3 ice-creams or not so shut up!"
She puffed out her chest and said 'how dare you?'
"I dare because you dared to stick your nose into my affairs in front of my children and even if you were trying to be nice more people like you need to learn when to just shut up."
One told my daughter she needed shoes on her cold, little feet. It was August, 38°C. She was 3 months old and in a pram and not bloody likely to get up and start walking.
One told me not to let my son play too much at the park because it's bad for them to get sweaty.
Plenty of them told my daughter when she was younger how weird/strange/unusual it was for such a dark haired girl to have a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Nearly gave the poor kid a complex.
One asked if my very dark girl and my blonde boy were siblings. When I replied 'yes' she muttered "well they might be - but not from the same father." She very nearly got smacked.
Another told me to let the little darlings have a lollypop and not to be a meany mother - brutta mamma! Bad move that day as I turned and in front of the whole shop loudly said,
"Will you mind your own business please. You don't know if my kids have already had a lollypop today or sweets or crisps or if they have had 3 ice-creams or not so shut up!"
She puffed out her chest and said 'how dare you?'
"I dare because you dared to stick your nose into my affairs in front of my children and even if you were trying to be nice more people like you need to learn when to just shut up."
May 14th 2012, 10:28 pm
#35
Im a woomaaan
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,978
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
And old Italian women can't keep their big gobs shut.
One told my daughter she needed shoes on her cold, little feet. It was August, 38°C. She was 3 months old and in a pram and not bloody likely to get up and start walking.
One told me not to let my son play too much at the park because it's bad for them to get sweaty.
Plenty of them told my daughter when she was younger how weird/strange/unusual it was for such a dark haired girl to have a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Nearly gave the poor kid a complex.
One asked if my very dark girl and my blonde boy were siblings. When I replied 'yes' she muttered "well they might be - but not from the same father." She very nearly got smacked.
Another told me to let the little darlings have a lollypop and not to be a meany mother - brutta mamma! Bad move that day as I turned and in front of the whole shop loudly said,
"Will you mind your own business please. You don't know if my kids have already had a lollypop today or sweets or crisps or if they have had 3 ice-creams or not so shut up!"
She puffed out her chest and said 'how dare you?'
"I dare because you dared to stick your nose into my affairs in front of my children and even if you were trying to be nice more people like you need to learn when to just shut up."
One told my daughter she needed shoes on her cold, little feet. It was August, 38°C. She was 3 months old and in a pram and not bloody likely to get up and start walking.
One told me not to let my son play too much at the park because it's bad for them to get sweaty.
Plenty of them told my daughter when she was younger how weird/strange/unusual it was for such a dark haired girl to have a sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Nearly gave the poor kid a complex.
One asked if my very dark girl and my blonde boy were siblings. When I replied 'yes' she muttered "well they might be - but not from the same father." She very nearly got smacked.
Another told me to let the little darlings have a lollypop and not to be a meany mother - brutta mamma! Bad move that day as I turned and in front of the whole shop loudly said,
"Will you mind your own business please. You don't know if my kids have already had a lollypop today or sweets or crisps or if they have had 3 ice-creams or not so shut up!"
She puffed out her chest and said 'how dare you?'
"I dare because you dared to stick your nose into my affairs in front of my children and even if you were trying to be nice more people like you need to learn when to just shut up."
And I thought wee old Scottish wimmin were bad!!!
May 15th 2012, 2:49 am
#36
Happy migrant
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Newcastle , NSW
Posts: 6,756
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
I have accepted the judgement as part of being a parent of an aspy. What most do not realise is that a meltdown is often a serious anxiety attack that cannot be managed easily. My son is in serious distress when it happens and the only way out is to get him out of the situation and somewhere "safe". Frankly my only concern if for him and the judgemental are irrelevant.
May 15th 2012, 3:04 am
#37
FREE TIBET
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,840
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
I have to say that having nursed kids with Aspergers and found it to be very very demanding and extremely difficult ,i have nothing but the highest repect and admiration for their parents/carers ,you are a special breed
May 15th 2012, 7:47 pm
#38
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Hill overlooking the SE Melbourne suburbs
Posts: 16,622
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
My kids tend to be at their worst at home..I am both relieved and irritated by this.....
May 15th 2012, 9:12 pm
#40
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Ballarat
Posts: 7,005
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
Mandy
May 15th 2012, 9:16 pm
#41
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 96
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
Yes, totally lacking in any empathy. Just had the morning from hell. Although the kids are obviously in distress themselves, the knock-on effect this has can be terrible for a family. My daughter's problems causing me extreme anxiety and stress. This then feeds back into the family and goes round in circles. Plus stress on your relationship. Just getting out of the house in the morning requires huge effort. A child with additional needs (mental health) can not just get ready for school. You have to tell them over and over and over what they are supposed to do, even stand there doing it for them. They can not focus. This is not just kids. My daughter doesn't understand that if someone else has the toothpaste, you wait. She will snatch it as in her head, she sees toothpaste and knows she needs it. She can not learn so keeps doing the same things over and over, like eating with her fingers, even though nearly 9 years old. She will just stick her hands straight in her food. You tell her and she will look at you and then just do it again. To be honest, I am wondering if it's autism as well, though high functioning. Unfortunately, most people in this world have low intelligence and just stare instead of applying some brain power. Had the same at school this morning. Sod 'em.
May 15th 2012, 9:25 pm
#42
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Ballarat
Posts: 7,005
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
Yes, totally lacking in any empathy. Just had the morning from hell. Although the kids are obviously in distress themselves, the knock-on effect this has can be terrible for a family. My daughter's problems causing me extreme anxiety and stress. This then feeds back into the family and goes round in circles. Plus stress on your relationship. Just getting out of the house in the morning requires huge effort. A child with additional needs (mental health) can not just get ready for school. You have to tell them over and over and over what they are supposed to do, even stand there doing it for them. They can not focus. This is not just kids. My daughter doesn't understand that if someone else has the toothpaste, you wait. She will snatch it as in her head, she sees toothpaste and knows she needs it. She can not learn so keeps doing the same things over and over, like eating with her fingers, even though nearly 9 years old. She will just stick her hands straight in her food. You tell her and she will look at you and then just do it again. To be honest, I am wondering if it's autism as well, though high functioning. Unfortunately, most people in this world have low intelligence and just stare instead of applying some brain power. Had the same at school this morning. Sod 'em.
I would not change my son but i certainly would not wish a child with special needs on anyone.
Mandy
May 15th 2012, 9:34 pm
#43
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,603
Re: How would you react to a child playing a mother up in a shopping center ?
People should go see Black Balloon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Black_Balloon_(film)
May 15th 2012, 11:58 pm
#44
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Hill overlooking the SE Melbourne suburbs
Posts: 16,622
