.....in the mornings?

Are you the sort that can just get outa bed and throw on yer clothes and out the door, easy peasy.

Or do you need the full chebang treatment?

I look the same in the mornings.... Mr Average is easy to maintain!!

I work from home... so its roll out of bed, scratch arse, turn on laptop, brew coffee and I'm ready to go.

Yes, but how do you look!!?

******' ropey. !

I feel and look f**kin dodgy as hell in the AM,takes me a couple of hours to get going

Generally I like to do the 3 "sh's" before going out the door but I could easily do without.

Sometimes (very rarely) if Mrs Shoulders is feeling frisky I might do the 4 "sh's" (not in any particular order mind)

Not in any particular order!!!! Clearly it is shit, shag, shower, shave....... Unless you want to upgrade shave in case of stubble rash.......

Shit and shag can be simultaneous sometimes if she is in a particularly "dirty" mood

I should add a caveat to that statement. It is extremely rare for her hormones and bowel movements to align like that so it's not a regular occurence

Not really into scatting.....

I look rough in the morning. Think Amy Whinehouse on a particularly bad crack comedown! I definately need a face of war paint before I'm presentable again... Also I don't look right till I'm wearing eyeliner. I won't leave the house without it on.

Ah Lou, I'd throw you some compliments but my flirting powers have waned due to being loved up.....

I dunno! I go on one date with you and you're already in love with me!

Ah loved up But seriously it does take me a good hour to look half way decent in the morning! I envy those natural beauties who just open their eyes in the morning and look gorgeous... Bitches.