Originally Posted by sasbear

Kids! Maybe she will hange her mind?

When does your son finish his studies? How old are the other kids?

Originally Posted by sasbear

sounds like you made a hard decision and it is hard and people don't understand unless they have been through something similar. I am so glad to hear that your son came out to visit.

I had to leave her with her dad (well this may sound bitter - but actually it was with his girlfriend as he works long hours - so only sees her about 10 hours a week) that is what I find hard - I suppose she chose another woman over her mum. She didn't really choose her dad - here I go again....

Anyhow - she was due to come out with us and on the application until the last minute - but then she changed her mind - her dad withdrew permission and I couldn't even get her to remain on the visa application and at least validate it and dcide later. I think she regrets it now and maybe that is why she is giving me a hard time for leaving her (abandoning her - her words).

I have asked her if she wants to visit - but she has refused. Part of me wants to fly back this year and spend some time together - but I really don't think she would spare me much time - and it is a long way to go to have 'the door shut in your face'.

Kids! Maybe she will hange her mind?

When does your son finish his studies? How old are the other kids?

Originally Posted by moneypen20

It could be that she had PMT when talking to you last. Unfortunately for us, first born has jumped head long onto my cycle so two of us being stroppy at the same time - not a good move

I don't remember being very unpleasant to my mother but then I didn't care much for her attitude to me. I think your daughter may be lashing out at you because she knows you love her and it won't do serious harm long term. Whereas if she takes her grumbles and "why me's" out on someone else, she could lose their friendship.

Originally Posted by Andrew Cross

He has two more years after the summer to finish his course (engineering) but he wants and apprenticeship with an airline, which of course means he can get him and us cheap flights, so I dont see him coming out for a long time yet. My other children are 15, 13, 9 and 7. They all really miss him but thank god for MSN and a webcam, so they get up everymorning and say hi to him so it feels like he's still around. He does have his PR but unless he uses it before Nov 2007 it will be void. Its cheaper for him to come here than us lot travel back so maybe I will just have to do that once a year or so, but the thought of not seeing him for a whole year makes me ill.
Do you think if you asked her if she would like you to go back for a visit and see her she might realise that you still really care, its always better to do things face to face. If you are there and chatting she will see how sincere you are and how much she means to you.
I know I was a bitch to my mother when I was a teenager and said some truly awful things which I very much regret now, its only when you are a parent you see why they said and did the things they did.

Sue

Originally Posted by sasbear

Bad parent - selfish - the usual - ever doubt yourself? I do - I really do - maybe she is right

Originally Posted by gobbyjock

My daughter is 10 and I`m dreading the teenage years - I`m sure all those hormones addle the brain sometimes and stop the mouth and brain co-ordinating. I can remember being a teenager and saying stuff that I didn`t mean but I felt I had to hit back for life`s injustices and unfairness because as a teenager the whole world is against you and no-one understands you LOL
Keep your chin up mate!