After spending ages getting our visas, visiting WA northern suburbs to check it out and then spending ages trying to sell our house, its has just sold (last week) and now im having a major wobble.
firstly I thought i would be excited and jumping for joy at the prospect of selling our home (we lost 30k on it so that wasn't great) but im not. i feel quite gloomy.

had very tearful conversations with my mum which hasn't helped, who has asked us not not go (my, OH and 2 kids 5 & 10). im racked with guilt about that and cant get out of my mind how much im hurting people close to me.

secondly we wasn't expecting to sell it at this time of year and now the people want to complete by feb which does give us a bit of time but its not in the grand scheme of things. we're totally unprepared and to be honest it all seems such a massive deal i dont know where to start.
Im finding hard to get motivated as i feel so guilty im almost trying to forget which i going to help anyone. i do want to go and give it a go but at the same time am very scared and im worried that we will leave this life for a new on that will turn out a nightmare. i knwo we can come back but i dont want to keep unsettleing the kids. i know i seem very negative and people will probably wonder why we are going it but we wanted a better life for us all but now reality has set it its so scary.

ive got so many worries i dont know where to start.
any tips or advice will be greatly received as i need all the help we can get and yet at the moment i feel very alone.

is this normal??

emma

Sounds about right - Its all quite flat when it finally happpens, we tried to sell for over 12 months then rented it in the end. Just get out here and enjoy it :-)

Hi Emma,been there!! We were due to go in March but now its looking like its Jan,at first i was dead excited,but my mum has only got my daughter and yep im taking her away forever!! I feel terrible but as time is passing the stronger im getting,my mum has had her life and now its time for ours!! Some days im so nervous and sick and some days im on a high,the thing is if we don't go i will always regret no trying it.I've not even told my mum its been brought forward to Jan,i've got to wait for the right moment,sad is't it but i think its just the way we are,if we didn't care we wouldn't think twice about hurting them! We have got a 3 year old daughter and she is my biggest worry whether she will settle etc but again we will never know if we don't give our best shot,Take care.Lisa x

thanks for the replies i was begining to think i was a bit odd. when i've told a few people how im feeling they have said 'you sure you should be going sounds like you dont want to' which has made me feel even worse.

i do so worry about the kids settling in more so for the 10 year old as we have a bullying going on over here and it seems to have settled now and he is seeming more happy and im frightened that i will make him unhappy again.

i do understand the 'got to try it as we will always wonder what if' but its so scary.

where abouts are you off to??

Can't agree with you more.The people who say 'Are you sure you want to go' etc seem to be alittle jealous as they haven't got the bottle to do it.At first i was exactly the same i don't think its normal not to be totally freaked out at first,but honestly the more it sinks in the more confident you become about the whole thing.Im on night nurse most nights as my head is buzzing about stupid stuff,so your not mad ! We re going to Sydney.Pm me anytime,sometimes it helps when you write your thoughts down,Lisa x

You will get loads of people on here all saying the same thing....what you are feeling is totally normal. After all....what you are doing is major!

We've been here for 7 months now and feel totally at home. We sold our house about this time last year, but it didn't complete until mid-April because of delays...we were expecting to go end of Feb. It was really hard cos it kept prolonging the feelings you have described above.

We were worried about getting jobs that paid enough, whether we could afford a house....all sorts...but in the end, we had to have faith in the research we done.

You are going to have many, many lows and a few highs over the next couple of months. It's normal.

Good luck

Hi Emma,
All your feelings and fears are absolutely normal. My friends left two months ago for Perth. They have three kiddies all under five! They were exactly the same but as you say they wanted a better life for the kids and themselves. We all know in our hearts the UK is dead in the water and the future is bleak. A depressing view but none the less a true one I fear. Just think of what Oz has to offer, and it is not just the sunshine, beaches, the people but the whole attitude to life.
Yes it is hard to leave family and friends but those asking you not to go are, I am sorry to say, being selfish and not looking at the big picture. After all you have gone through to get the visa yoiu owe to yourself to give it a go. You will only regret it and a motto of an old friend of mine is "dont die wondering..."
I am sorry this is so long a reply but I am trying to be supportive and thats what your family and friends should be at this scary time. I am sure you are doing the right thing and in 12 months will look back and wonder why you had the wobbles
Best of luck and see you out there! I am hoping to head to Perth in the New Year and I am doing it, probably on my own. How scary is that at the ripe old age of 46!!!!

thanks.

this is making me fel better. its is a very big emotional thing we are doing and its good to chat to people who have done it or are doing it as they understand what we are going through.

thanks again
emma

Don't think anyone really understands until they are going through it. I never understood the term "emotional roller coaster" until we did it....it's not easy. I don't think that people are necessarily selfish, it's scary for them too...they love you and don't know when they will see you again. I didn't realise the impact my decisions would have on other people until it was happening. Not sure that helps

I have been going through this whole process for 4 years. My other half took ill so we had to wait for her operation and then had to re do meds and police checks. We came back two weeks ago after validating our visas for her to decide she no longer wants to go!!
So it shows we all have difficult decisions to make. I know if I dont go and try I will resent her and our relationship will be doomed. It may be doomed anyway when I go but I am hoping absense makes the heart grow fonder and she will join me. You never know I may hate it and want to go back (sure right!!!!), stranger things have happened.
Again best of luck

to oz wannable1

thanks for your reply and everyone elses. its wasn't too long its great to hear from others as its making me feel that im not the only one. i need all the support i can get at the moment.
how are your friends settling in??
we are off the to northern suburbs of perth.

your right this country is going down the pan and wont have anything to offer my children when they grow up. i need to keep these things in mind to keep my mind set on why we are doing this and not let emotional feelings change things. we are going to do this its just i wished i felt happier about it. im going to try and relax abit over the weekend and get used to the idea abit more and then contact the shippers on monday and start some plans rolling and hopefully that will make me feel better like ive achieved something towards the move. its all seems so big at the moment i dont know where to start but once i get started it may be seem so bad.

cheers all and im sure you will be getting regular updates from me now as i realize its people on here i need to talk my problems / feelings / etc through with and not friends and family.

thanks again

emmx

No worries mate,, as they say! We are all here to help if we can and sometimes give advice but mostly just to sound off to. Keep smiling

to emma01
Soz didnt answer your question properly. My friends have settled in well. They have a 4 x 2 in a new area called Aspin Grove I think and Neil already has a job, all be it part time. They are happier than ever and so glad they made the move.

I know all about "the wobbles."

We got married in a rush (so my Kiwi hubbie could get a work visa for the UK) and at one point I had the serious wobbles about getting married.
Half the people I confided in said doubts were perfectly normal and the other half said if I had any doubts at all I shouldn't do it.
In the end I decided doubts were perfectly normal due to our extreme situation and indeed, it has turned out 7 years later that getting married was the best thing I have ever done!

So I am remaining positive (or trying to) and adopting the same philosophy about our move to Oz; DOUBTS ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL. Will we get jobs? Will I make friends? etc... I won't know until I try.

Also, my other philosophy is never to say we are moving to Oz for "forever." The minute you say that the pressure is unbearable.
We are simply going to give it a go and give it 100% and if it doesn't work after a decent amount of time, well come home.

Good luck Emma.

Great comment,everybody should read that,xx