having second thoughts
 

Thought it was all done and dusted, house sold due to complete 30.11.09 but
we are both having second thoughts.

Its everything, exchange rates crap, house prices gone up since we visited last year. Keep reading negative posts about cost of living in Perth, and Perth in general. My eldest son who is 12 doesn't want to go, the younger 2 would be happy anywhere

When we were in Perth for our reccie we thought this is it, this is where we want to be, but now I just dont know.

Half of me thinks as I'm not 100 per cent I should pull out, and the other half thinks sod it give it a go.

Another sleepless night I guess......

Re: having second thoughts
 

Lots of people have second thoughts, I think thats natural. You can always give it a go, rent for a while in Perth, and if it doesn't work out come back to the UK. When you get to Perth you'll probably remember exactly why you love it.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained :)

Re: having second thoughts
 

The problem now is.... if you don't try it, you may be thinking like that forever.

What if........... :confused:

At a rough guess, I would say 80-90% of people have felt similar just before the big move.

Re: having second thoughts
 

Yup...that was us too...especially when family back home was begging us to stay. But we're here anyway to give it a couple of years.

Re: having second thoughts
 

We had massive second thoughts and wished we had listened to them, we had a fabulous life at home - 18 months on and still trying to make the dream happen!!!! Stay where you are I would say x

Re: having second thoughts
 

I have been wanting to make it out to Australia for 18 years. Never been able to just go that last mile. Then, one day, all the things that had prevented me disappeared and a photo in a magazine just made me think GO FOR IT! Lost over 50K (stirling) on the house. Came out here with nothing. Do I regret one minute of it. No. Not even in Perth.

If I hadn't done it I would, for ever, be thinking "What if".

You liked it when you came out here. You can make it work. You have to put some effort in yourself - it won't be handed on a plate. But surely better to try and find it might not be for you than to always regret not doing it. Go For It!

Re: having second thoughts
 

Personally I think that the whole process is so stressful, that it is not unusual to have doubts about what you are doing, there is so much that is unknown.
You really have to think about why you started on this rollercoaster in the first place, what you hope to gain from the move & what you are giving up.
Only you know your particular personal circumstances.

With regard to opinion on Perth, just remember that those who post on here are a minority of those living in Aus & that there are many folks living there quite happily (including some that post on here!)

Best wishes:fingerscrossed:

Re: having second thoughts
 

Perth is not for everyone.

It's a hot topic but you must decide for yourself.

Re: having second thoughts
 

Nobody can help you here, in essence if you have a good life in the UK why move?

If you do move commit to it entirely. :thumbup:

Best of Luck, life is full of adventures, adventures always have challenges otherwise they would just be plain boring.

Re: having second thoughts
 

I would say if you were so close to going and not having some doubts creeping in I would say that you should take off your rose tinted specs! Of course you are worried! Yes its hard going at first unless you are one of the lucky ones to fall straight on your feet.
Have a good think about why you wanted to come here in the first place and see if those reasons are still valid, everyone has different reasons for wanting to up and go just as everyone has different opinions of why the like/dislike a place, dont forget one man's meat is another man's poison.
It's a big move of that there is no doubt and only you know what your expectations are and what is right for your family.
Good luck in your decision, we are here for you!

Re: having second thoughts
 

By my guess (and the other comments on here) it happens to us all.

I felt exactly the same about 6 weeks ago, bursting into tears, not sleeping etc etc.... Now here I am all packed up, move out of my house tomorrow and I feel extremely calm:eek:. I think it does hit you at some point but then you have to think, if we don't try we will never know.

Yes it may all go t*ts up, BUT it may be the best thing you ever did.

My 11 year old also doesn't want to go and my 8 year old can't wait......

Nothing has to be forever, have a few :drinkwine: and give it a go:thumbsup:

Cheers
Louise

Re: having second thoughts
 

We pulled out of going to Perth a couple of weeks before we were due to do (if you look at my old threads you can read about it).

Anyway we spent the next few years continuing to wonder about it and (to be honest) I was a total pian in the backside to my whole family.

So we ended up going to Sydney in 2008..........hated it...stayed a year and came back.


But now I have scratched the itch and have no desire to go back.

I think you have to go otherwise you will always wonder what it.

Re: having second thoughts
 

Go with your gut feeling

Re: having second thoughts
 

As long as you dont burn any bridges you should be fine. Come for the adventure if nothing else, if that is what your life is lacking. But there is nothing which says you have to like it and as long as you can make decisions about being where life is better for you then all will be well.

Re: having second thoughts
 

as others have said - totally natural to have worries and second thoughts - it shows you thinking things through rather than just doing the "live the dream" bit. we've been in perth nearly 3 years and go back to england in around 10 weeks. Perth is lovely in many ways (as is Australia) but we now are sure that england is where we need to live - and just visit other places.

that said, thousands settle here and live the life we thought we might - you may be one of those. in any case, its something worth doing for the experience. but again as others have said, dont burn your bridges - we kept UK bank account and credit cards etc and hubby kept his work license up to date etc (ie paid even though not using) and it is making the transition home so much smoother!!

good luck with it which ever way you go.

Re: having second thoughts
 

If you've just sold your house and you think the Australian experiment will be too hard right now, you should seriously consider moving to somewhere else in the UK and waiting to see how you feel at a later stage. You may conclude that you are happier in the UK and Australia is just a nice holiday destination.

Re: having second thoughts
 

I agree with Vash.

If we had just gone with the flow we would be on our way to Australia right now. But with doubts similar to yours and a couple of other concerns to think about we ended up opting to buy another house and defer our move for +/- two years. Once the visa is granted (and subject to a validation trip) most of us have 5 years to settle in Aus. I would say choose your time. There's no mad rush.

Good luck! - Whatever you decide :fingerscrossed::)

Re: having second thoughts
 

Hi,
I have been in the Sydney area now for 3 months. Had the move planned for nearly a year and a half, but 2 weeks before my flight I had serious doubts about coming here - I guess it's just natural for anyone as it's a life changing event. I almost didn't make it but told myself that if I didn't do it I would always regret it. You don't know if you don't try, and if you try and don't like it at least you gave it a go.

Re: having second thoughts
 

We did a reccie to Perth/WA and loved it, eventually went with East coast but only real reason was cheaper housing for us. You'll never get a proper answer about Perth on this forum for some reason, if you've visited before then you'll have that gut feeling if it's right for you or not. Alot of children don't want to move but that's why they are children ultimately it's your (the parents) decision.

I'm sure most people have second thoughts, we had a great life in the UK tbh. If you have savings then use them to rent over here until the exch rate goes up, or can you stay with family in UK and put more money away until rate goes up? if you want something badly enough you'll move heaven and hell to make it work. Personally I'd research, research research and then make up your own minds.

Before we came we read it all on here and yes, it worries you, as if you haven't got enough on your plate but thinking back now I'm sure some posts are just to panic those coming over.

Re: having second thoughts
 

So, having put our emigration plans on hold, I now wake up every day wondering if we've made the right decision :unsure::blink:.

Re: having second thoughts
 

Can't send you more karma just yet but yes you did!
You made a balanced & sensible decision, involving te needs of your kids as well as financial considerations etc
Stick to the plan, you'l be right!:thumbsup:

Re: having second thoughts
 

My gut feeling said 'don't go', but we still went because like others have said 'you will never know'.
My gut was right.

Re: having second thoughts
 

I have learned over the years to trust my gut instinct. Having nerves before emigrating is normal, but having a gut instinct that is stopping you from making that final move is another thing entirely.

Spending thousands to satisfy a 'what if' can have huge implications.

Nerves are normal, gut instincts are rarely wrong - its a gift we all have, but some choose not to tap in to. But usually if something doesnt feel quite right that is because it usually isnt.

Paulry, you made the right decision for you at the time, if was the right thing for you to emigrate then you would have made the move. Migrating may be the wrong thing for you, or the timing could be wrong - there is always a right time for everything so go with that.

If you really want to go to Australia then you will get there - if and when the time is right.

Re: having second thoughts
 

Here are some easy steps to think about, make sure you have a get out plan.

Set yourself a realistic time frame.

Rent.

Keep all your money in the bank.

Dont buy flash cars.


Also remember when you get here that,not every suburb may be for you they are all so different.

same with jobs.

Bottom line is,have a get out of jail card and use it if you have to..


Or stay where you are and beat yourself up for ever because you did not try it?

HOPE THIS HELPS?

Re: having second thoughts
 

On hindsight,i wish i had followed my gut instinct and not gone as it has been the most stressful thing i have ever done.Stayed in Perth for seven years,have come back and moved to a different area ,enjoying it but it is hard settling back,i would say if things are good ,take stock of what you have got and enjoy,as grass is not always greener.It is such an upheaval for everyone.We met some lovely people,but emigrating really messes with your mind,makes you think too much of the future................ am i happy here? is this forever?............will i stay?
Instead you should live for today.
Every place has its problems were ever you go to.
You still have to do boring everyday things,washing,ironing,cooking ,cleaning,food shopping were ever you go,so life is not always a party!and going to the beach.
You have to be happy within yourself,a place will not do that for you.
You need alot of money ,as houses are not cheap ,so i think it is sensible to do what you have done ,but that is my opinion.

Re: having second thoughts
 

I remember reading stuff like what i wrote there,funny being this side it was so easy to write.Its not easy though to pick your young ones up,take them away from family and bring them to a strange land that happens to be the other side of the world.
other side of the world,it seems so far doesnt it?but its not,its one day?24 hours?you know how quick 24 hours can go?

dont be frightened,it aint the end of the world,if its not for you,play your cards right and you can be back where you started at the drop of a hat.

take care and hope it works out for you what ever you do?

Re: having second thoughts
 

LOL but it IS the end of the world. It sounds so easy - it's only 24 hours blah blah. Yes, 24 hours living like a sardine, all perfectly do-able but if you need to be at a bedside it can feel like an eternity, cost you 3 or 4 months wages just for the trip. No matter how often you skype the rellies, you try getting a hug via a videocam.

I think the message is not to burn any bridges and to make realistic decisions about what is happening for you at every turn and be prepared for a financial and emotional loss in search of adventure.

I suspect many people who trek to the other side of the world would be just as happy with a move from the North of UK to the South or vice versa - just to get out of the rut they find themselves in. In another 10 years they will be in another rut and feel just the same again - it's a darned sight cheaper to move within UK than to trek to the other side of the world just to scratch an itch for adventure. There is absolutely nothing magic about being in Australia - it doesnt confer intelligence, wealth, beauty or anything else that you wouldnt have in UK. I seriously doubt that it is "a better future for the kids" either.

Re: having second thoughts
 

Agree with the bit about loss - there *will* be expense involved. Rent, stamp duty etc. Loss on car depreciation. Some winners will be people who bought in Perth 4 years ago and returning now.

I will say though that for some people coming over at the right time that Australia might confer some wealth or lifestyle. If it gives you what you are hankering for, then it might make somone beautiful (well happy and content). Agree about intelligence though...as for the kids - depends.

Re: having second thoughts
 

According to the West Australian newspaper this week, Perth is now the most expensive city in Oz apart from a few things.Petrol is cheapest here now as Queensland has had subsidies removed, washing powder and fabric conditioner is also cheapest(apparently).But the big one is 'canned baked beans' so if you dont like beans...you're buggered!!
Seriously,the cost of living is not cheap(or even average!) but it is what it is and you can do very little about it. Things may be cheaper in the UK but you aren't in the UK and it takes a while to stop comparing although I still do it now. Looking back,knowing what I know now,I would have done lots of things differently but we would probably all say that.
The days of coming to Oz for the 'gold' and cheap lifestyle are well and truly gone,but it still is a beautiful country and I am still enjoying living here.Looking forward to the lotto tonight:fingerscrossed:

Re: having second thoughts
 

Yes, but this is just your opinion. Many agree with you, many believe moving to Australia is the best thing they ever did, and they love it here. There is nothing magic to you here, but I find magic every day - just walking my dogs along the beach is magical.

Re: having second thoughts
 

This is a tough one... is it nerves, or is it your gut? My personal belief is that it is probably only worth moving here IF you are sure that you want what Australia has to offer.... and I say that as a ping ponger! You have to have a very postive attitude to begin with, as sometimes you have to put real hard yards in to make the move work... if you feel the way you do, maybe you should spend the money you have saved and move to a nicer area in the UK.

Re: having second thoughts
 

:confused::confused:
I thought house prices had really dropped in Perth?

To the OP, If your in no hurry why not hold off till at least the exchange rate/ housing market settles? Get through xmas have a look in the new year?
the older kids never want to come..lets face it in a couple of years the 12 YO won't wanna get out of bed! Thats normal....

Re: having second thoughts
 

I did this and I now live in a great place.... but I still have the the itch, that hasn't gone away although it's not nearly as itchy as it was.
I still long for the adventure of living on the other side of the world for a while, I'm just not sure I'd want it forever.

I certainly won't do it until the exchange rate makes it a better bet. I don't think my life will improve by me being poorer.

Re: having second thoughts
 

If they had bought long enough ago, even with the recent drop, the favourable FX rate might make their equity look good. I'm tipping.

Re: having second thoughts
 

This kind of dilemma is a head versus heart thing. At the moment my head is winning but the heart is protesting :D

Re: having second thoughts
 

I did not say that people would not think it the best thing they ever did, I was just saying that it is just another country it doesnt have unicorns pottering down the end of every street - although from some reports they do seem to believe that. It is just another place which does not confer anything on you that could not, with similar efforts be achieved elsewhere and without trekking to the other side of the world. If beaches are your thing then I can think of many in UK that would be equally impressive and dramatic. Ditto wildlife, cities, countryside. It is a first world country with all the benefits accruing to first world countries with different weather and a different landscape, nothing magic about it.

Magic, sometimes known as sorcery, is the practice of consciousness manipulation and/or autosuggestion to achieve a desired result (quote) - as compared with reality which is what is actually out there.

Re: having second thoughts
 

i understand this... in 7 weeks i am due to leave the uk, i will miss my family, i will miss my friends... my life though is hard.... and although i know it wont be easy the transition and i am going to somewhere remote which is even more crazy for me... i know like many if i dont do it i will regret it... i want a better life for my child and feel thats what i may get... and i like the sun... oz is the uk but a bit behind... a lot warmer... and you still have to work hard... i am lucky as i have family there also... and i have been out a few times so know what i am getting myself into...

Please try it, your brtish you can come home... if you dont like perth go somewhere else... australia is a big country...:rofl:

Re: having second thoughts
 

Thank you everyone for all the comments, I know there is no real answer to my dilema, however, we have decided to put our plans to move to Perth on hold.

On hold till when, who knows, but I do feel relieved to have finally made a decision, don't know if its the right one, but it means the immediate stresses are gone.

Gonna enjoy christmas and revisit everything in the new year.

Re: having second thoughts
 

Hi
Just joined, read this forum, really interesting.
In the process of thinking about going to Australia, getting TRA done, at moment.
It has made me think , from both sides, i have enjoyed it thank you.

Re: having second thoughts
 

the only thing that is a shame now is by having second thought and not going through with it,
A: you have spent alot of time and money for nothing
B: you have now taken a visa that could have gone to someone desperate to start a new life out there.

I know until a few weeks ago if I had read this I would have been upset as I was desperate for my visa and had tried many ways to get it... I just wanted a new life and to be with family... by having a visa you have a great opportunity and to not go with it means someone else has missed out as there are only so many allocated.