Have you ever heard something so stupid?
Jun 11th 2009, 5:14 am
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Have you ever heard something so stupid?
I was in a kebab shop the other week and I asked for a salad kebab with a sprinkling of bacon on top as they have just started offering that.
The girl scratched her head and said 'Just salad in a kebab, no meat or anything?'
'Just a bit of bacon please and salad in the kebab' I replied.
She looked crestfallen and got the manager.
He looked at me and shook his head, after a few minutes he said happily 'Oh I know what you want, you want a breadless kebab'
'No thank you, I would like pitta bread, stuffed with salad and a sprinkling of bacon on top' I replied, thinking I might have to grow the salad myself.
After discussing it with the assistant, she looked confused and set about packing my pitta bread with salad. After she had done that she looked at me and said 'Would you like salad with that?'
At that point I nearly cried, telling her there was enough salad in the kebab, I demonstrated about the bacon, pointed out which was sweet chilli sauce, paid my money and the manager then said 'As you have no meat on that, I will give you a 50 cent discount'.
Ignoring the large helping of bacon on top, I walked out questioning my own sanity.
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
The girl scratched her head and said 'Just salad in a kebab, no meat or anything?'
'Just a bit of bacon please and salad in the kebab' I replied.
She looked crestfallen and got the manager.
He looked at me and shook his head, after a few minutes he said happily 'Oh I know what you want, you want a breadless kebab'
'No thank you, I would like pitta bread, stuffed with salad and a sprinkling of bacon on top' I replied, thinking I might have to grow the salad myself.
After discussing it with the assistant, she looked confused and set about packing my pitta bread with salad. After she had done that she looked at me and said 'Would you like salad with that?'
At that point I nearly cried, telling her there was enough salad in the kebab, I demonstrated about the bacon, pointed out which was sweet chilli sauce, paid my money and the manager then said 'As you have no meat on that, I will give you a 50 cent discount'.
Ignoring the large helping of bacon on top, I walked out questioning my own sanity.
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
Jun 11th 2009, 5:18 am
#2
Oiiii.. You slaggg!
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Brisbaneshire
Posts: 5,209
Re: Have you ever heard something so stupid?
I was in a kebab shop the other week and I asked for a salad kebab with a sprinkling of bacon on top as they have just started offering that.
The girl scratched her head and said 'Just salad in a kebab, no meat or anything?'
'Just a bit of bacon please and salad in the kebab' I replied.
She looked crestfallen and got the manager.
He looked at me and shook his head, after a few minutes he said happily 'Oh I know what you want, you want a breadless kebab'
'No thank you, I would like pitta bread, stuffed with salad and a sprinkling of bacon on top' I replied, thinking I might have to grow the salad myself.
After discussing it with the assistant, she looked confused and set about packing my pitta bread with salad. After she had done that she looked at me and said 'Would you like salad with that?'
At that point I nearly cried, telling her there was enough salad in the kebab, I demonstrated about the bacon, pointed out which was sweet chilli sauce, paid my money and the manager then said 'As you have no meat on that, I will give you a 50 cent discount'.
Ignoring the large helping of bacon on top, I walked out questioning my own sanity.
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
The girl scratched her head and said 'Just salad in a kebab, no meat or anything?'
'Just a bit of bacon please and salad in the kebab' I replied.
She looked crestfallen and got the manager.
He looked at me and shook his head, after a few minutes he said happily 'Oh I know what you want, you want a breadless kebab'
'No thank you, I would like pitta bread, stuffed with salad and a sprinkling of bacon on top' I replied, thinking I might have to grow the salad myself.
After discussing it with the assistant, she looked confused and set about packing my pitta bread with salad. After she had done that she looked at me and said 'Would you like salad with that?'
At that point I nearly cried, telling her there was enough salad in the kebab, I demonstrated about the bacon, pointed out which was sweet chilli sauce, paid my money and the manager then said 'As you have no meat on that, I will give you a 50 cent discount'.
Ignoring the large helping of bacon on top, I walked out questioning my own sanity.
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
Jun 11th 2009, 5:30 am
#3
Account Closed
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 351
Re: Have you ever heard something so stupid?
.
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
Jun 11th 2009, 5:32 am
#5
(It's not my real name)
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Ilukapool. WA
Posts: 12,467
Re: Have you ever heard something so stupid?
why would you want a "salad kebab" ? It makes no sense to me either.
Jun 11th 2009, 5:45 am
#6
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 9,316
Re: Have you ever heard something so stupid?
It's not really a kabab without proper meat in it (bacon is not kebab meat). So it does sound a bit stupid 
I can see why the shopkeeper was confused. 
I can see why the shopkeeper was confused.
Jun 11th 2009, 5:47 am
#8
Chan eil aon chànan gu le
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
Re: Have you ever heard something so stupid?
I was in a kebab shop the other week and I asked for a salad kebab with a sprinkling of bacon on top as they have just started offering that.
The girl scratched her head and said 'Just salad in a kebab, no meat or anything?'
'Just a bit of bacon please and salad in the kebab' I replied.
She looked crestfallen and got the manager.
He looked at me and shook his head, after a few minutes he said happily 'Oh I know what you want, you want a breadless kebab'
'No thank you, I would like pitta bread, stuffed with salad and a sprinkling of bacon on top' I replied, thinking I might have to grow the salad myself.
After discussing it with the assistant, she looked confused and set about packing my pitta bread with salad. After she had done that she looked at me and said 'Would you like salad with that?'
At that point I nearly cried, telling her there was enough salad in the kebab, I demonstrated about the bacon, pointed out which was sweet chilli sauce, paid my money and the manager then said 'As you have no meat on that, I will give you a 50 cent discount'.
Ignoring the large helping of bacon on top, I walked out questioning my own sanity.
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
The girl scratched her head and said 'Just salad in a kebab, no meat or anything?'
'Just a bit of bacon please and salad in the kebab' I replied.
She looked crestfallen and got the manager.
He looked at me and shook his head, after a few minutes he said happily 'Oh I know what you want, you want a breadless kebab'
'No thank you, I would like pitta bread, stuffed with salad and a sprinkling of bacon on top' I replied, thinking I might have to grow the salad myself.
After discussing it with the assistant, she looked confused and set about packing my pitta bread with salad. After she had done that she looked at me and said 'Would you like salad with that?'
At that point I nearly cried, telling her there was enough salad in the kebab, I demonstrated about the bacon, pointed out which was sweet chilli sauce, paid my money and the manager then said 'As you have no meat on that, I will give you a 50 cent discount'.
Ignoring the large helping of bacon on top, I walked out questioning my own sanity.
Another time - well two weeks ago, a colleague rocked up at the house I was staying at, pissed out of his head, he could barely talk. Calling him a wanker for drink/driving, he patiently slurred his words and tried to explain something to me 'Its OK, drinking and driving is OK as long as you are in control', and then told me that he drives better while drunk as he has excellent coordination.
When he got up, he walked into the wall and bashed his arm before leaving the house to drive home.
I find as I am getting older, I dont suffer fools gladly but just lately I have heard some real gems!
What is the daftest thing you have ever been told?
Quite often i find myself having to speak with an aussie accent (well an attempted one!) to try and get whoever to understand what i'm saying.
Jun 11th 2009, 5:48 am
#9
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,824
Jun 11th 2009, 5:49 am
#10
Oiiii.. You slaggg!
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Brisbaneshire
Posts: 5,209
Jun 11th 2009, 5:50 am
#12
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Have you ever heard something so stupid?
I am of the opinion that drink drivers are the lowest of the low, there is no excuse, there is no 'controlled driving' like the thickos insist and no I do not feel sorry for people that cannot either not drink, get a taxi, designate a driver or stay at home.
I did not say that at all and I do not ever get in the car with anyone who has been stupid enough to do that.
Jun 11th 2009, 5:51 am
#13
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,824
Jun 11th 2009, 5:52 am
#14
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Have you ever heard something so stupid?
well you see I dont like the lamb/chicken part of a kebab I hate it and it makes no sense for me to eat it.
They offer breadless kebabs, why not salad kebabs, they do those falafel kebabs as well which I didnt fancy.
It might not make any sense to you to eat it, but what is so confusing asking for some salad in pitta bread - it isnt that hard surely?
They offer breadless kebabs, why not salad kebabs, they do those falafel kebabs as well which I didnt fancy.
It might not make any sense to you to eat it, but what is so confusing asking for some salad in pitta bread - it isnt that hard surely?
Jun 11th 2009, 5:53 am
#15
Chan eil aon chànan gu le
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
