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Halloween Jokes etc...

Halloween Jokes etc...

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Old Oct 21st 2010, 4:35 am
  #1  
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Default Halloween Jokes etc...

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

Spoiler:
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...

What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...

Last edited by Alfresco; Oct 21st 2010 at 5:11 am.
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 5:05 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Did you leave any for the rest of us to tell?
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 5:07 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Sally Simpson
Did you leave any for the rest of us to tell?
Try Google.

Fixed it.

Last edited by Alfresco; Oct 21st 2010 at 5:11 am.
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 5:10 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Alfresco
Try Google.
Cheat!
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 5:13 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Alfresco

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
vacuum cleaners just don't have same aerodynamic abilities Must nip out and get some scare spray too, thanks for the reminder, I'm right out of it, will need it tomorrow
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 5:35 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Pollyana
vacuum cleaners just don't have same aerodynamic abilities Must nip out and get some scare spray too, thanks for the reminder, I'm right out of it, will need it tomorrow

Broom broom tomorrow already. Thought you still had a few days.

Originally Posted by Sally Simpson
Cheat!
Of course I am.
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 6:01 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Alfresco
Broom broom tomorrow already. Thought you still had a few days.
Small change of plan owing to shifts at work being shuffled around.....lovely Qantas have given me two extra days, I now fly out tomorrow London on Saturday morning
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 6:10 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Pollyana
Small change of plan owing to shifts at work being shuffled around.....lovely Qantas have given me two extra days, I now fly out tomorrow London on Saturday morning


bon voyage then.

Have you told Paulry in case he still arrives at Heathrow two days later?

Last edited by Alfresco; Oct 21st 2010 at 6:13 am.
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 6:32 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Alfresco
bon voyage then.

Have you told Paulry in case he still arrives at Heathrow two days later?
Naaa, was gonna let him turn up and pick up some random strange woman

Seriously, no, he reckons we can still meet up, so that'll be good
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 6:39 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Pollyana
Naaa, was gonna let him turn up and pick up some random strange woman

Seriously, no, he reckons we can still meet up, so that'll be good
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 8:35 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Pollyana
Small change of plan owing to shifts at work being shuffled around.....lovely Qantas have given me two extra days, I now fly out tomorrow London on Saturday morning
Looks like it's going to be an early Saturday morning on the boozer.

But do be careful

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Old Oct 21st 2010, 8:39 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by paulry
Looks like it's going to be an early Saturday morning on the boozer.

But do be careful

http://www.denneyworld.com/witch.jpg


Hope Polly remembers it's a lot more congested over there.
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 8:39 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by paulry
Looks like it's going to be an early Saturday morning on the boozer.

But do be careful

You can always stay on coffee........

As for careful? Where's the fun in that?
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 8:46 am
  #14  
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by Pollyana
You can always stay on coffee........

As for careful? Where's the fun in that?
I'll stay on coffee if you do
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Old Oct 21st 2010, 9:13 am
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Default Re: Halloween Jokes etc...

Originally Posted by paulry
I'll stay on coffee if you do
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