spouse of scouse

Why should a nursing home spoon-fed their charges?
The clue might be in 'nursing' home?

If you don't think that the frail and the ill should be helped to eat in order to stay alive, then why don't you start another thread to air your views?

Pretty crass, and entirely unnecessary, for you to make those comments on this thread.

BadgeIsBack

They can assist - but they can't spend hours on it - that is all.

I gave my grandfather a help- but he wasn't interested. They are adults after all. This is what I am saying: it is crass that we have developed an entire flawed industry around 'age care' when it is clear that it's just another means to a profit - as some of the experiences here show.

cresta57

Yeah Badge there are just way too many old people & cripples aren't there? We should as a society just let them all starve to death slowly.
Sometimes your posts are so unbelievably crass that you must either be a complete twat or simply have no grasp of the subject matter or the real world for that matter.

moneypenny20

People with Alzheimers and dementia are so far from adults making reasoned decisions they may as well be on another planet.

renth

Thanks everyone for their ongoing comments and thoughts. I hope this thread doesn't degenerate into a fight.

Interestingly there are a few people (sons, husbands..) who are there every dinner time to help their loved ones get some food and drink down them.

My poor old dad's dementia is "end stage". He's so frail, however it doesn't stop him getting to his feet and falling over on an almost daily basis. He's black and blue with bruises.

My wife and I have spoken about what we'll do if either of us ends up like this either through age or severe stroke. I thought to myself "what if I crushed up a load of benzos into the drink to send him on his way?" - I can't imagine they'd do a toxicology test or autopsy, or would they?

Coming back Friday, can't wait to see the Mrs again but I know that I'll have to make at least one, possibly 2 more trips in the not too distant future. It's not all bad though - I'm moving up the Qantas frequent flyer status tiers - I can now bring back 43 kilos of dry roasted peanuts and After Eights!

koalakim

Sorry to hear about your Dad, it's a dreadful disease and so hard for the family to see this happening to someone.

As others have said I would also stress the importance of hydration with older folk. As we age we lose our thirst mechanism so you don't feel thirsty and then realise the need to drink. Being properly hydrated can help a lot of the problems in older folk.

My granny, if she got the slightest bit dehydrated she would start to hallucinate and my Mum had a job to keep her to keep drinking. She also had a lot of urinary infections as well which then made it all worse.

My Dad (who's no longer with us) got very dehydrated when he had the pneumonia, wouldn't eat or drink and then ended up with serious water works problems. Once he was in hospital and on a drip it all started working fine. I kept saying keep up the fluids but do they listen.... Fortunately my Mum always has the kettle on.

Safe trip back and enjoy the After Eights.....

BadgeIsBack

or..perhaps you miss the irony or the inner meaning...you must know me by now...

there is a whole industry out there keeping people ticking over...(or not perhaps) based on the dollar

I don't believe in playing the 'Battler game'

we are all living longer and longer..some of us get to do it at home, others have to be admitted sooner..

good luck to us all I say

BadgeIsBack

I can see where you are coming from : understand the sentiment.
You are in a scenario we have all seen over the years.

Good luck and - make your peace Renth.
Cheers

Dorothy

I'm betting on a mix of all 3 with a major in complete twattery.

cresta's conscience

Felt I had to respond to this. Having devoted my entire career (yes it is a career) to the caring industry I feel qualified to reply. Firstly Renth I sorry to hear about your experience with your father's illness. I worked in a EMI unit many years ago and would come home covered in bruises, bite marks and quite often completely distraught by the abuse I had endured, but without fail I would take myself off again the next day to start all over again. Most of my charges had no one just myself and the rest of the staff to take care of them, quite often because loved ones could not face what had become of their Mother/Father etc. They were fed and watered if you could get them to sit down long enough, if however they moved from the table it wasn't practical or safe to follow them down the corridor with hot plates etc. Regular snacks were given throughout the day to try and supplement their dietary requirements.
Prior to leaving the UK I was made redundant from a Nursing home that was run by a large charity, it was an old building, in a bad state of repair, but the standard of care was very high. It broke my heart to have to pack up my ladies and gentlemen that I had cared for quite some time ( one lady had been there 7 years). I didn't step foot in another facility for nearly 10 years because I couldn't face the thought of going through that again. When I finally bit the bullet I felt as if I were home, like I had never been away. Long and short of it I guess is that I love my job (It's not a job you do for the money). My residents trust me, know that I will take good care of them. The families know they don't have to be there to feed because it might not be bang on midday but my residents will get food in their bellies, they will be dry and clean.
I believe my team and I make a difference and most of our residents do have a quality of life, up until the point when their body/mind decides it has had enough then I endeavor to ensure they are pain-free and kept comfortable.
I love my residents we laugh together, cry together and sometimes they drive me a little crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way