Glaswegian Joke
 

The story is allegedly true.
The scene is a Glasgow court and a witness (a ned) is being questioned by a rather plummy mouthed Advocate Depute (AD)
AD 'You say you went to your friend's house that night. Why did you go there?'
WITNESS 'Tae get a tap.'
AD 'Is your friend a plumber?'
WITNESS 'Naw.'
AD 'Are you a plumber?'
WITNESS 'Naw.'
The witness is a bit bewildered by this line of questioning and the AD realises it, but noticesthat the court police officer is rubbing his fingers of one hand together in the universal gesture of money.Daylight apparently dawns on the AD and he changes his line of questioning accordingly.
AD 'So you went to the house to borrow money?'
WITNESS 'Naw.'
AD 'Ah. You went to the house to lend money?'
WITNESS 'Naw.'
In exasperation the AD says, 'You told the court you went to your friend's house for a tap. What kind of a tap was it?'


WITNESS 'A Sellic tap.'
:rofl:

Re: Glaswegian Joke
 

Don't get it :confused:

Re: Glaswegian Joke
 

LOL !!! :thumbsup: After working & living in East end Glasgow for years , I belive this. LOL !!

Re: Glaswegian Joke
 

A Celtic Top......:p

Re: Glaswegian Joke
 

No, beyond me......

Re: Glaswegian Joke
 

Have a Brummie joke instead

"Birmingham City Council has announced that from the 1st of January Birmingham will be known as Birmingchicken. it is thought the present name offends certain immigrants religious and dietary rules.
Councillor Bill Scrogbottom said "We have to move with the times. Birmingchicken will portray itself as a fully-integrated society with a name to appeal to the majority of its inhabitants."

Re: Glaswegian Joke
 

4X Cup-holder:

Glasgow Caller: "Hullo pal, could ye put me oan tae yer technical support peeple?"

Tech Rep: "Technical repairs here. How may I help you?"

Glasgow Caller: "Hullo. It's actually no ma PC that's broken...but the cup holder a' use for ma Aussie 4X beer. Aye and ahm still within ma warranty period. How dae I go aboot gettin' it fixed?"

Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Glasgow Caller: "Aye, it's the wan attached to the front o' ma computer."

Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Glasgow Caller: "It came with ma computer, I dinnae ken onythin' about a promotional. It just says '4X' on the front o' it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it any longer. The Glasgow caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.:)