Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Feb 18th 2006, 6:35 pm
#16
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Here's another....
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says: "I make a good living."
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says: "I make a good living."
Feb 18th 2006, 6:38 pm
#17
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Originally Posted by John
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off. The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?"
The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"
The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."
The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"
The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."
Feb 18th 2006, 6:38 pm
#18
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Feb 18th 2006, 6:39 pm
#19
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"
Feb 18th 2006, 6:40 pm
#20
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Originally Posted by John
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off. The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?"
The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"
The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."
The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"
The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."
Feb 18th 2006, 6:43 pm
#21
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
oh no, my little one's just had "an accident" suppose I should go clean up. Back in 5
Feb 18th 2006, 6:47 pm
#22
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Disaster averted, hubby's on the case. Thankfully, he know I've got a date with BE tonight so he knows he's on his own
Feb 18th 2006, 6:50 pm
#23
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
Feb 18th 2006, 6:54 pm
#24
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
A very handsome and even more confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and cant help but ask, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The woman is intrigued and asks, "A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"Whats it telling you now?"
"Well, it says youre not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
The woman notices this and cant help but ask, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The woman is intrigued and asks, "A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"Whats it telling you now?"
"Well, it says youre not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
Feb 18th 2006, 6:54 pm
#25
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Posts: 199
Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
An old, but rich man marries a gorgeous 21 year old model with a very aggressive sexual appetite. It isn't long before they realise that the husband is not able to make her come during their protracted sex sessions.
They decide to seek the advice of a sex counsellor. After having heard their problem he suggests that the wife might be able to come if they hire a male gigolo with a huge nob to stand naked over them during love-making and wave a towel at them for about 10 minutes. Although puzzled they try this the next evening, but alas to no avail, so they go back to the counsellor and describe the failure.
The counsellor suggests that maybe the gigolo should wave the towel for the entire period of love-making. That evening they retry, but again to no avail so back they go to the counsellor. Upon hearing of the failure the counsellor asks if the gigolo is waving the towel vigorously enough as this is an important aspect of the therapy.
So that night the couple get after it and inform the gigolo to give the towel a bloody good wave. After three hours of lovemaking the wife has still not come. In frustration the old man jumps off the bed, grabs the towel from the gigolo and orders him to screw his wife while he waves the towel frantically. In less than ten minutes the wife reaches an earth-shattering orgasm, nearly breaking all the windows in the house with her squeals of ecstasy. At this point the old man jumps forward with a victorious look on his face and shouts triumphantly at the gigolo "There you are sonny, that's how you wave a ****ing towel!"
They decide to seek the advice of a sex counsellor. After having heard their problem he suggests that the wife might be able to come if they hire a male gigolo with a huge nob to stand naked over them during love-making and wave a towel at them for about 10 minutes. Although puzzled they try this the next evening, but alas to no avail, so they go back to the counsellor and describe the failure.
The counsellor suggests that maybe the gigolo should wave the towel for the entire period of love-making. That evening they retry, but again to no avail so back they go to the counsellor. Upon hearing of the failure the counsellor asks if the gigolo is waving the towel vigorously enough as this is an important aspect of the therapy.
So that night the couple get after it and inform the gigolo to give the towel a bloody good wave. After three hours of lovemaking the wife has still not come. In frustration the old man jumps off the bed, grabs the towel from the gigolo and orders him to screw his wife while he waves the towel frantically. In less than ten minutes the wife reaches an earth-shattering orgasm, nearly breaking all the windows in the house with her squeals of ecstasy. At this point the old man jumps forward with a victorious look on his face and shouts triumphantly at the gigolo "There you are sonny, that's how you wave a ****ing towel!"
Feb 18th 2006, 6:55 pm
#26
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Originally Posted by WendyC
A very handsome and even more confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and cant help but ask, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The woman is intrigued and asks, "A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"Whats it telling you now?"
"Well, it says youre not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
The woman notices this and cant help but ask, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The woman is intrigued and asks, "A state-of-the-art watch? Whats so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"Whats it telling you now?"
"Well, it says youre not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man taps on the face of the watch and explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
pmsl, excellent Wendy
Feb 18th 2006, 6:57 pm
#27
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Three men died and stood in front of God.
God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. He admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.
The second man admitted to only an affair and was given a midsize car.
The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.
A week later the three guys met in a parking lot. The man driving the luxury car began to cry.
"What's the matter?"
"I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!"
God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. He admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.
The second man admitted to only an affair and was given a midsize car.
The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.
A week later the three guys met in a parking lot. The man driving the luxury car began to cry.
"What's the matter?"
"I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!"
Feb 18th 2006, 6:57 pm
#28
Sunny Sydney
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Originally Posted by John
An old, but rich man marries a gorgeous 21 year old model with a very aggressive sexual appetite. It isn't long before they realise that the husband is not able to make her come during their protracted sex sessions.
They decide to seek the advice of a sex counsellor. After having heard their problem he suggests that the wife might be able to come if they hire a male gigolo with a huge nob to stand naked over them during love-making and wave a towel at them for about 10 minutes. Although puzzled they try this the next evening, but alas to no avail, so they go back to the counsellor and describe the failure.
The counsellor suggests that maybe the gigolo should wave the towel for the entire period of love-making. That evening they retry, but again to no avail so back they go to the counsellor. Upon hearing of the failure the counsellor asks if the gigolo is waving the towel vigorously enough as this is an important aspect of the therapy.
So that night the couple get after it and inform the gigolo to give the towel a bloody good wave. After three hours of lovemaking the wife has still not come. In frustration the old man jumps off the bed, grabs the towel from the gigolo and orders him to screw his wife while he waves the towel frantically. In less than ten minutes the wife reaches an earth-shattering orgasm, nearly breaking all the windows in the house with her squeals of ecstasy. At this point the old man jumps forward with a victorious look on his face and shouts triumphantly at the gigolo "There you are sonny, that's how you wave a ****ing towel!"
They decide to seek the advice of a sex counsellor. After having heard their problem he suggests that the wife might be able to come if they hire a male gigolo with a huge nob to stand naked over them during love-making and wave a towel at them for about 10 minutes. Although puzzled they try this the next evening, but alas to no avail, so they go back to the counsellor and describe the failure.
The counsellor suggests that maybe the gigolo should wave the towel for the entire period of love-making. That evening they retry, but again to no avail so back they go to the counsellor. Upon hearing of the failure the counsellor asks if the gigolo is waving the towel vigorously enough as this is an important aspect of the therapy.
So that night the couple get after it and inform the gigolo to give the towel a bloody good wave. After three hours of lovemaking the wife has still not come. In frustration the old man jumps off the bed, grabs the towel from the gigolo and orders him to screw his wife while he waves the towel frantically. In less than ten minutes the wife reaches an earth-shattering orgasm, nearly breaking all the windows in the house with her squeals of ecstasy. At this point the old man jumps forward with a victorious look on his face and shouts triumphantly at the gigolo "There you are sonny, that's how you wave a ****ing towel!"
Feb 18th 2006, 6:58 pm
#29
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Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
Originally Posted by WendyC
Three men died and stood in front of God.
God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. He admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.
The second man admitted to only an affair and was given a midsize car.
The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.
A week later the three guys met in a parking lot. The man driving the luxury car began to cry.
"What's the matter?"
"I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!"
God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. He admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.
The second man admitted to only an affair and was given a midsize car.
The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.
A week later the three guys met in a parking lot. The man driving the luxury car began to cry.
"What's the matter?"
"I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!"
Feb 18th 2006, 6:59 pm
#30
Sunny Sydney
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: Get Herrchook Up to 1000
AaArrggghhhh, my drink's finished and hubby's putting the kids to bed!! Who's gonna come round and fill me up?