I called my mother last night. The first contact since I visited her in the UK at Christmas. Contact from Tuvalu was impossible, and calls since I got bck went unanswered.

Her memory is beginning to worry the family. She is now 80, and getting forgetful.

The interesting thing is this: she can recall with absolute clarity events from 50+ years ago, and she can remember everything about my Christmas visit, but she seems to struggle remembering 30 seconds ago. She told me the same piece of gossip 6 times in ten minutes....

Now, being honest my mother epitomized the dumb vivacious blonde bombshell. She never did listen or concentrate, she traded on her beauty and personality not brains, so this isn't quite as bad as it sounds. In short she has always been a bit like that.

However, I suspect it will get worse. Anyone have ny experience with this? How long can I expect to have reasonable conversations with her?

I am planning to be back in the UK for my graduation in March 2013. Should I bring those plans forward?

Edit: my sister took her to a doctor but the results seemed inconclusive, and seemed to be along the lines of "old people get forgetful, don't worry"

How's her diet?

As far as I can gather just the normal healthy stuff. She stopped smoking about 25 yeas ago, doesn't drink, and eats well.

What time was it for her? Would she have just woken up from a nap or preparing for one? To be honest, I'm not sure I'd worry. It's fairly normal for an 'oldie' to remember previous stuff but forget the current things. She remembered your visit just a few months back so that's pretty good. Basically if you feel you should go back prior to your graduation then do it. I'd go with my gut reaction and what your sister says. Because you're away from it, changes appear more pronounced and scary when you see them. Your sister sees her often (I'm guessing) and will have a far better handle on the situation than anyone else.

It was midday for her, and she had been reading. I was somewhat reassured that she remembered my wife (including her japanese name) and events and conversations during the visit. It just seems strange that she can't remember what she just told me a few minutes ago...

I work with the elderly and most of my clients are in the early stages of dementia . Each person is different, for some of my clients they have this stage for months if not years. For others it can happen very quickly that they forget people and places. The best thing that can be done is to contact the team that assess the elderly who do what is called a mini mental test. This will give an indication of how severe the memory is. To be honest with you, if your gut tells you something isnt right then visit her sooner rather than later. I will give you an example of a lady who was my client when i first met she would foget where she put her keys , purse and glasses . She could remeber stuff from the day before but not the week before. Had perfect recall of her youth and early adulthood. Then 4 months later she would go shopping and forget what she needed, forgot she had written a list to help her. At this stage she could remember what she had for breakfast that day but not tea the night before. She could recall her daughter who lived in another state and knew her name. Skip forward to now which is a total of 10 months since i met her she is living in a nursing home, she can not recall anthing she is doing at the present, she was phoning our office up every 10 mins to ask something but forgot what is was. Very sad really. She still recognised her daughter but had forgotton her name.
There are medications available that can help with the memory but they only work at a certain stage of dementia. By the way im no specialist in the field and this is just knowledge i have gained through working with clients who end up developing the disease. Good luck with the decision.
Mandy

The mother does that, mainly when she's bitching about my brother. However my relationship with her is such that I am more than capable of switching off as soon as she mentions his name, or more often 'your brother....' . She rang last night, thankfully I was out and she spoke to Tiddler - how are you all? Yeah we're all good thanks. That's lovely, how's your sister? She's good (wasn't but life's too short), and your mum? blah blah blah. She finished with 'I hope you're all well' and hung up without saying goodbye. She's 87, I think it's fairly normal.

She rang me once and then shouted at me that she couldn't hear me as she hadn't put her hearing aid in and hung up. She didn't ring back for about three weeks.

I know what you mean as the last phone call I had with my Mum she told a couple of stories twice and I was also worried at how strange it seemed that she could not remember what she told me minutes before.She usually repeats herself in the next phone call but she has never done it in the same call.

I don't want to alarm you at all and your Mum could be completely different but my Nan used to do this all the time. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease It could be completely different and it could just be old age catching up with her, I hope it is. Alzheimers was not a nice thing at all.

My Nan could recall things that happened many years in the past but could recall nothing of conversations that she had 30 seconds ago. She got to the point where she called all her Grandsons the same name as the eldest Grandson because he was the only one she remembered. When she first called me Kevin it took me completely by surprise and we all used to correct her but as time go's on you just live with it.

I sincerely hope this was just a blip Slaphead

I think its very common in people in their 80's. FIL is exactly as this thread describes.

Last time partner went down to melb, he remembered him, the didnt, then repeated questions like hows work/kids over and over.

The remembering yesteryear but not 5 mins ago is a symptom a much younger person should be straight at the Docs about.

But and this is hard, once they are much older, the medical advice seems to be, 'you have to expect this at that age', and as they get older, less and less seems to be treated. FIL had a lump on his neck, I assume with the partner a lump on the neck would be full investigation, with FIL it was oh yeah, that age.... nobody in the nursing home bothered at all.

He has just been moved to a higher care unit, but his memory has declined slowly over many many years. All the rooms have patients names on the doors, big poster size, with a colour and picture they like. He has a boat, he sailed solo round africa/america some years ago. Sad but as the staff keep saying 'at that age...'

Could be mere forgetfulness or could be early stages of Alzheimers.

My mother was forgetful, then formally diagnosed about 18 months later...we knew what was coming as she would forget recent things (2-3 years, months and less).

She died last week and her Alzhemiers was very advanced (but not cause of death).

She never knew my daughter's name- who is 5; thought my brother was my father,; his son was my brother...so she was obviously caught in a particular era.

She did get to the stage where she would tell us she had not seen @persons name@ for ages, only to find out they had just left. Frustrating but sadly part of this sad disease.

You should probably press for a diagnosis and then at least you can know what to expect.
Also google for 7 stages of Alhemiers- it really helps to understand the phases.

My mom makes me laugh all the time with her memory. She has to tell me every time I talk to her all about when John and Alice's house caught fire due to an extension cord under a chair. "Do you remember that, Dorothy? Remember how good the insurance company was in paying them?". Me "um, it happened in 1957, Mom. I wasn't born yet so really don't have a very clear memory of those events".
This same conversation is carried out every single time I speak to her. And has for the past 10 or so years. She also will tell me the same bit of gossip three or four times in the course of a conversation. Usually about people I neither know nor will ever meet.

I think it's a normal part of ageing Slappy, but if you think theres reason to worry then listen to Mandy and have her do the mini memory test. It will give you a better idea of what's what. Fingers crossed its just her getting old.

I have two parents in their 80's. Both of them unfailingly refer to the year 2000 as 1970, This is no joke, has anyone else experienced this?

I guess Guys, you are telling me what I already knew deep down inside - its the start of a slippery slope.

I will look at getting back earlier. Maybe spending some serious time with her.

Time passes for us all. I would like a few more good memories....

Yes enjoy the quality times you have. I have not read into the history of this thread but I think I get the gist. God bless.