TimbersBack

When you were in the UK.

Your family , mates and friends... their words were so supportive and instilled that warm glow of future enthusiasm and reassurance..

Along the lines of..

"We are so gonna miss you, and will be out for our Aussie holiday before you have unpacked"

"We will keep in touch, by email, sms and facebook"

etc etc

after the move, the rose tinted glasses are packed away, and you start thinking in dollars and centimetres ... do those echoey sentences, come back to haunt you ?

Did they LIE to you ?

Do you feel let down, a pariah ?

Why didnt they come to Oz, instead you hear they went to Miami ?

They never chat to you on Facebook ?

What happened !

Perhaps share "lies" you were told ...

brissybee

Miami would probably be nice.

GarryP

It's the normal 'out of sight, out of mind'. Once you have left you fall out of their notice, and thus out of contact. Synchronous comms is difficult because of the timelag (making Skype or the telephone a pain). Many may think that they will come and visit you, but it's £1000 for just the flight to Oz, and half that for 2 weeks in Florida. Worse, the summer holidays for the UK is winter here - and Christmas time is even more expensive.

Basically, if you want to keep up with friends, YOU need to put the effort into it - because they generally won't. Maybe half the number that say they will visit actually do.

moneypenny20

SiL said she and my brother would be out for her 50th. That was 7 years ago and they've not got here yet. Well they're divorced now so that's not going to happen. Sister asked in 2009 if she and one daughter could visit other daughter in Bangkok, collect her and then come to us for Christmas. Obviously said yes. Nothing happened and found out (via niece's FB) sis and first daughter went to NY instead. That seriously pissed us off. Got to love family.

brissybee

I think people might consider the fact that Australia isn't high on everyone's list to visit.

I think it's a good place to visit, but it's a long way and there are lots of other good places in the World to see.

Frankly, I wouldn't blame anyone for not visiting. If you make the decision to move to the other side of the World I think you have to accept that you are moving away from everyone and everything. The consequences are that you won't see the people you move away from. That's not their doing.

moneypenny20

If the Sil and sister said 'it's unlikely we'll visit, too far, too expensive, not interested in the place but see you if you come back' I'd have no issues. Don't tell me you're going to come and ask if you can come and then not come. Don't just change your mind, seriously pissing off one daughter and a sister by sodding off somewhere else without telling them. That's just bloody rude. Damn, thought I'd moved on. More therapy needed...

quoll

I waited 30 yrs for people to come and visit me - got one or two over the years but it was basically too far and too expensive. People get more bang for their buck elsewhere and those that did come only came once. I don't think they outright lie I think their lives move on and you are out of sight and they get new priorities, as do you. Must be the cynic inside of me but I never believed the "we will come and visit" stuff anyway. Only folk who came more than once were my parents who managed half a year for 15 yrs but that was more because it suited their golf than anything else.

Kapri

Yep, best friends started a fund to come out for a holiday.
They have now used said fund for other things.

I genuinely couldn't care less

BadgeIsBack

Yes it's true that out of sight is out of mind: in so far as people move in their own circles ultimately : we all have to take care of basic responsibilities. But people who want to come and visit - come back.

We have a relative who is living 20k's away - she has landed - has got herself settled over a few months - and wants to visit and renew an old acquaintance - and have a home from home.

My kids are excited as she speaks 3 languages and they want to practise one of them.

Molly Coddle

I think the saying ' out of sight out of mind' is very true.

And to be fair, if I had some spare cash I don't think Australia would be my first port of call either.



I know my mum will definitely come, she has all her brothers and sisters living over there and she's been before. She can have 5 weeks in Australia, a week at each house so that works well.

My dad won't come. He won't leave his 'Gods Country.'
He's a true British country gentleman who thinks this country is the best thing since sliced bread, and if you live in the countryside here, then it is I suppose, so I don't blame him. Plus I actually think he doesn't like flying, although he would never admit that.



I think my brothers will come, unfortunately. but you can't win them all can you?

Pulaski

Not really you don't, no!

My sister visited twice (SE USA), once when she was visiting Toronto, and once when she was living in Pennsylvania. Six months after she arrived in Pennsylvania her marriage collapsed, and she has returned to the UK, and claims (and I have no reason to disbelieve) that she is as poor as a church mouse. I don't expect her to visit again.

Dorothy

Nope. Nobody lied and said they would visit but didn't. There was only one family member ever invited to visit and she came last year. We're meeting in Singapore next year, so she'll probably come again.

There's a reason I moved to the other side of the world. If I wanted to see family I would have stayed where I was.

scrubbedexpat098

I'm kind of the other way, all my besties, brothers, family have been out during our 6 years here. I'm actually getting a bit pissed off with not being able to have a Christmas alone with my lot.

BadgeIsBack

We've had people over. We enjoy it - so do they.
But I might ban new arrivals from wanting to see the Penguiins down at Philip Island. We are so over them that now we just hand over the car keys..

TimbersBack

Bit irresponsible giving keys to a penguin