aka "Why you should give me the job, now!"

Ahhh... it's 20+ years since I applied for a job

It's a full-time occupation, I tell you. This is the first one I've done so far since my contract finished in December but when I was looking three years ago I did quite a few and they were very time-consuming.

I'm thinking of Seasider dancing on the table......

Yep, you got the job.

Many years ago I got a job from crashing a company Christmas party because the one I was at next door was so boring. I met my old boss and his wife in Sydney the other weekend, as they were passing through, and reminded him he only employed me for my fishnets.

You are doing this on purpose aren't you?

Let me guess, they were stockings?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yes!

Just been fined 20 pence for an overdue DVD,will this impact on my visa application

Only if you do a runner and don't pay it.

Better get some character references just in case

And then he'd really be %^&$ed.

Today I am washing the whole contents of a 2m wide wardrobe with double rails. It was a casualty of the room being used as a workshop, the floor having to be levelled, and the fact that the room was open to the elements for nearly a month.

I have washed over 100 hangers and am part-way through the tops that were on them. I've only opened one side so far, and most of my shoes are in the other one too. I am losing the will to live.

(If I have this many tops, why do I never have anything to wear? )

Nice.

I also have nothing to wear. All the time.

waiting for buyers to transfer deposit money