Hels Bells

How long are you going back to the UK for????

chels

Here's my contribution to the boring stuff! Rather than saying I'm lonely, I think I'm a bit bored... I miss the social interaction that I enjoyed with a really varied network of friends and aquaintainces in the UK. Here, it feels like I interact with either Australians or ex-pats; whereas before I interacted with friends from school, from university, first job and all the ones since, neighbours past and present, ex boyfriends, OH's mates. Even though I've met people here through work and other avenues, it still seems to come down to Australians and ex-pats.

I'm not exactly lonely as I know a fair few people over here, and it's not like my days aren't extremely busy to keep me from feeling bored. Maybe a better word for it is ennui? Maybe I should start a new thread 'Do you ever feel ennui?'

If this makes any sense to any one, well done!!

Hels Bells

I have to say that it makes perfect sense to me. Its how I felt when I moved to London. I knew one person when I arrived. The main circle of friends I made there were either OH's friends or people I met through work.

I think time is the only thing that will ease that. I dont think you will ever be able to replace a circle of friends that you had in the UK because your circumstances will always be different here. Just remember how long it took you to build those friendships, it will take that long here also.

sasbear

I SO know how you feel. Part of me fights the realisation that I don't fit in here like I did in the UK.

At work I feel great - the people are nice and I made the effort and still do to get involved outside work with these people as I am not good at joining clubs on my own. But I feel sometimes I am so close but then get pushed back.

I have asked a small group to a meal at our place a while back. so has hubby - but we have never been invited back anywhere - Thought m,aybe I was paranoid and they either dislike me or my husband (could be)
Just that after giving over 8 meals (some BBQ) we have never had a return invite???

I feel like an outsider

Rudi

That's exactly it!!!! I think it has dented my confidence and made me feel like there is something wrong with me! We used to have friends over in the evenings in the UK and go over to their places as well. I have NEVER had an invite round for a meal here on a couple to couple basis. We have had a few people over here though.............

To Hels.....we are off to the UK for 3 weeks - we leave on Sunday, back on the 8th Jan.

Rudi
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Hels Bells

Well, I am pretty sure that if I can get up there, it might be after you come back...so you could make it to a night out maybe???

Vanessa

Are you a good cook? You may find that you don't get invites to dinner because people are scared to entertain you!! Also a lot of people don't like to entertain at home - they find it an invasion of their personal space. How about seeing if they want to go out for something to eat - Takes the onus off all of you then.

I have also found that the Australians do it a bit differently from 'us' when you invite them round they always ask what they can bring and are surprised when I say nothing. One friend called me recently and said that she could bring a leg of lamb that she has in her freezer

thebears

If you are visiting Melbourne you can come to us for a meal

Mrs Jackaroo

Well when you get back Rudi you make sure you're at the next Penrith Booze Up ok! Then if we like each other maybe we'll invite you for a meal

Have a great Christmas in the UK and we'll see you in January!

Rach xxxx

Rudi

I don't know if I am very good at nights out (if they involve goign out and getting drunk)! I am not really a drinker so I tend to find that whilst everyone else is hugging with glee in that "I am so pissed I have a new best friend" way, I'm not a part of it, so I end up feeling left out and miserable!!!

I am great at lunch though, nights out at the cinema or theatre, nights out for a meal, nights in with friends etc etc etc !!!!!

Rudi
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chels

If I lived nearer to you, I'd be dropping lots of hints for an invite round to yours right now. We could be outsiders together

At least you're being brave enough to ask people - I am so pathetic, I can't ask people round because I worry about rejection. If I don't ask them, I won't be hurt if they don't come. I'm not quite sure how I have become such a wuss, maybe I used up all my self-confidence moving to Australia?

I'm hoping that if I can sort out my job situation and finally get a 'proper' job rather than contracting after 2.5 years, it might boost my confidence a bit and I'll become brave and fearless (yeah, right...). I had an extremely, unexpectedly good event at work yesterday, and it amazes me how much it makes a difference to my self-esteem and motivation.

HB - thank you for reassuring me that I'm not the only person to have felt like this! Part of the problem is that I've made friends very quickly in the past, there's been an almost instant bond with them, a spark of interest that has made me want follow it up without fear of rejection. Not many people have become friends after I've known them for a while (not counting OH's mates), maybe I'm too quick to judge people? Maybe I do the very thing I worry others do about me...

Apologies for my 'I'm on Trisha' moment...

Mrs Jackaroo

All sounds good to me! I used to drink a lot more than I do now but since having thyroid problems I've calmed it down a lot. I would probably end up driving to Penrith - I've got the 7 seater so I'd be the taxi I expect! We usually go out about once a month in Richmond too if ever you're up for it - usually for a meal. I know its a bit far out for you but if you're driving its only 40 mins?

the more the merrier!

Hels Bells

Thats cool mate. If I come up, will be up for a couple of days, so maybe a few of us could set up lunch as well for those that cant come out in the evening????

I am sure we can do something Rudi...would be nice to meet you

iPom

Rudi, we'll get together in the new year, ok? When are you back from the UK? (Just seen when you're back)

Rudi

Wow!!! I didn't realise there was a group who met up this way!! Please keep me posted about when you are meeting......

Thanks

Rudi
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