Originally Posted by kylie11 (Post 7810524)

Hi There

Just a bit off topic, at what point did you decide you wanted a divorce, what made you make the leap. I've been with my OH now 20 years, for the last year i have just gone with the plan tried not to upset him too much and agree in the right places, bought a house in an area that's OK but a bit quiet for me. I have three children 10, 8 and 5 and in order to move here sold my business, so currently have no job and no income, been here two years on the 27th September(not that i'm counting) and love it. Have put up with mood swings for 12 months when we first arrived as he didn't like it and let him go back to UK for a jolly to work out where he wanted to be. I'm fed up with trying to please and pander to the whims but am scared s***less about leaving and trying to make it on my own as i know it wouldn't be amicable or at points financially viable, just in process of purchasing a business in the hope this will give me my independance and the guts.

Originally Posted by kylie11 (Post 7810524)

Hi There

Just a bit off topic, at what point did you decide you wanted a divorce, what made you make the leap. I've been with my OH now 20 years, for the last year i have just gone with the plan tried not to upset him too much and agree in the right places, bought a house in an area that's OK but a bit quiet for me. I have three children 10, 8 and 5 and in order to move here sold my business, so currently have no job and no income, been here two years on the 27th September(not that i'm counting) and love it. Have put up with mood swings for 12 months when we first arrived as he didn't like it and let him go back to UK for a jolly to work out where he wanted to be. I'm fed up with trying to please and pander to the whims but am scared s***less about leaving and trying to make it on my own as i know it wouldn't be amicable or at points financially viable, just in process of purchasing a business in the hope this will give me my independance and the guts.

Originally Posted by kylie11 (Post 7810524)

Hi There

Just a bit off topic, at what point did you decide you wanted a divorce, what made you make the leap. I've been with my OH now 20 years, for the last year i have just gone with the plan tried not to upset him too much and agree in the right places, bought a house in an area that's OK but a bit quiet for me. I have three children 10, 8 and 5 and in order to move here sold my business, so currently have no job and no income, been here two years on the 27th September(not that i'm counting) and love it. Have put up with mood swings for 12 months when we first arrived as he didn't like it and let him go back to UK for a jolly to work out where he wanted to be. I'm fed up with trying to please and pander to the whims but am scared s***less about leaving and trying to make it on my own as i know it wouldn't be amicable or at points financially viable, just in process of purchasing a business in the hope this will give me my independance and the guts.

Originally Posted by Bernieboy (Post 7810539)

20 years OMG yer poor husband having to spend all that time with you,my wife loved me so much she left after a year:lol:

Originally Posted by scottishcelts (Post 7810559)

:lol: a year - christ, you were hard work :eek:

Originally Posted by Bernieboy (Post 7810569)

Im a drag misery out kinda guy:thumbup:

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 7810612)

Bet you enjoy being tortured too :eek:

Originally Posted by Bernieboy (Post 7810624)

No pain,no gain sister:thumbdown:

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 7810784)

Are we talking marriage or torture now? :confused: :D

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 7810784)

Are we talking marriage or torture now? :confused: :D

Originally Posted by kylie11 (Post 7810583)

My heart says neither of us are happy but neither would walk out so both making each other and the kids miserable. Snide comments about me spending and him working etc each time i've had a job he's got a job working away so made it difficult to fit with child care as need to travel about 1.30 to get to work. The more i sit and think the more i realise he doesn't help with homework, soccer, swimming or willing to meet my freinds :lol: Where has it all gone wrong or is this just the natural path of things, i just can't see me growing old with him any more

Thanks coppa will give them a try

Originally Posted by sallyclaire (Post 7811307)

Even when my OH & I have been going through difficult times, I have still wanted to be growing old with him!
Sounds as though one of you needs to be brave & make the first move. Are you sure he knows how you feel though? I know I am guilty of expecting my husband to have a 6th sense about these things!:o
Counselling sounds like a great idea.:thumbsup: