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Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by Scrundlebunny
(Post 6847660)
Why does he have to get half my superannuation? That sounds very unfair, as I've earned more than him most of my life and at least three quarters of it came with me from England:curse: Probably means i'll be keeping him in his retirement while i still have to work!
If your husband is a financial slack arse and you can show you have paid whilst he hasn't, then you may have a case to object. In this case, I would ask you to see a solicitor for a one off consultation. This should cost you about $800 dollars and he or she can answer all the questions you have in that session. I'm really glad you're found someone else, thats great! Do the kids like him?:thumbup: The being alone bit would be weird just cos its a foreign country i suppose, and cos i don't have much of a life here cos he doesn't like going places much, but i guess it doesn't take much to build a new life if you are determined enough, and i do have mates at work that would stick by me. Determination to make things better and get your life back on track is a big bonus. I got myself back in this process... Every day tells me I'm doing the right thing. No doubts. Good luck chick. :) |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
(Post 6850415)
Determination to make things better and get your life back on track is a big bonus.
I got myself back in this process... Every day tells me I'm doing the right thing. No doubts. |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
I havent posted on here for ages cos i've been trying to sort stuff out in my mind. I really wish my husband would find someone else cos then i'd find it so much easier to leave. I know its going to tear him apart when i actually go, i can see him hurting enough now when i've just told him that i am going at some point soon. I was right about his family, they are taking his side so its looking like i shall be moving out to live in a strange country, with no family around and few friends. Even after several years it still seems like a strange country!
I wish so badly now that i had stayed single, it seemed like such a good idea at the time, i'd never do it again though, The few friends who know that i am leaving him are already saying "youll soon find someone else" - is it normal to feel so completely numb inside and be sure that never ever will you get involved with someone? Like i said before it seems like a strange country even though i've been here several years so i'm thinking maybe i should go home. Ive got a few friends here, but a lot have gone home. I might as well be lonely at home as here. Does anyone know if i put in for the divorce and then go home, can we sign everything in different countries? I mean i wouldn't have to come back to sort it out would i? I talked to a solicitor about the superanuation thing and he seemed to think he could make a case for me to hang onto whats really my own money as i had most of it before i got married, so thanks for that info. |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by Scrundlebunny
(Post 7768194)
I havent posted on here for ages cos i've been trying to sort stuff out in my mind. I really wish my husband would find someone else cos then i'd find it so much easier to leave. I know its going to tear him apart when i actually go, i can see him hurting enough now when i've just told him that i am going at some point soon. I was right about his family, they are taking his side so its looking like i shall be moving out to live in a strange country, with no family around and few friends. Even after several years it still seems like a strange country!
I wish so badly now that i had stayed single, it seemed like such a good idea at the time, i'd never do it again though, The few friends who know that i am leaving him are already saying "youll soon find someone else" - is it normal to feel so completely numb inside and be sure that never ever will you get involved with someone? Like i said before it seems like a strange country even though i've been here several years so i'm thinking maybe i should go home. Ive got a few friends here, but a lot have gone home. I might as well be lonely at home as here. Does anyone know if i put in for the divorce and then go home, can we sign everything in different countries? I mean i wouldn't have to come back to sort it out would i? I talked to a solicitor about the superanuation thing and he seemed to think he could make a case for me to hang onto whats really my own money as i had most of it before i got married, so thanks for that info. |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by Scrundlebunny
(Post 7768194)
I havent posted on here for ages cos i've been trying to sort stuff out in my mind. I really wish my husband would find someone else cos then i'd find it so much easier to leave. I know its going to tear him apart when i actually go, i can see him hurting enough now when i've just told him that i am going at some point soon. I was right about his family, they are taking his side so its looking like i shall be moving out to live in a strange country, with no family around and few friends. Even after several years it still seems like a strange country!
I wish so badly now that i had stayed single, it seemed like such a good idea at the time, i'd never do it again though, The few friends who know that i am leaving him are already saying "youll soon find someone else" - is it normal to feel so completely numb inside and be sure that never ever will you get involved with someone? Like i said before it seems like a strange country even though i've been here several years so i'm thinking maybe i should go home. Ive got a few friends here, but a lot have gone home. I might as well be lonely at home as here. Does anyone know if i put in for the divorce and then go home, can we sign everything in different countries? I mean i wouldn't have to come back to sort it out would i? I talked to a solicitor about the superanuation thing and he seemed to think he could make a case for me to hang onto whats really my own money as i had most of it before i got married, so thanks for that info. Best wishes! |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by Scrundlebunny
(Post 7768194)
I wish so badly now that i had stayed single, it seemed like such a good idea at the time, i'd never do it again though, The few friends who know that i am leaving him are already saying "youll soon find someone else" - is it normal to feel so completely numb inside and be sure that never ever will you get involved with someone?
But it is also normal to do exactly that, when you find the 'next' right person :thumbup: And unlike "Bernieboy" I am not afraid of my wife reading this, well, my current one anyway :lol: (and just to clarify... I doubt I will be changing again... even though 50% of her super is a really good $ figure..) ;) |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by ABCDiamond
(Post 7769868)
Yes, it is normal, especially the bit about never getting involved again...
But it is also normal to do exactly that, when you find the 'next' right person :thumbup: And unlike "Bernieboy" I am not afraid of my wife reading this, well, my current one anyway :lol: (and just to clarify... I doubt I will be changing again... even though 50% of her super is a really good $ figure..) ;) |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by Broad Shoulders
(Post 7769967)
for a minute there I thought you were going to get through a whole post without using a stat or percentage figure
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Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by ABCDiamond
(Post 7770029)
Nah... not possible for me.... :rofl:
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Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by sallyclaire
(Post 7769809)
Sorry that you are still having an unhappy time. I can't help with law etc just wanted to wish you luck. Also, may be better for both of you if you just get out sooner rather than later now he knows your plans.
Best wishes! The agents aren't any more useful, they never answer emails and when you ring up all you get is answerphones. :thumbdown: i never realised how lucky i was coming here with somewhere all organised to live in, must be really hard moving here and then finding somewhere to live. |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by ABCDiamond
(Post 7769868)
Yes, it is normal, especially the bit about never getting involved again...
But it is also normal to do exactly that, when you find the 'next' right person :thumbup: And unlike "Bernieboy" I am not afraid of my wife reading this, well, my current one anyway :lol: (and just to clarify... I doubt I will be changing again... even though 50% of her super is a really good $ figure..) ;) |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Question for those of you that have been through this divorce stuff - how did your families react? i thought i'd have support from both sides, but it turns out i'm not getting it rom either. i didn't want to involve my own family cos i know they've always been a bit worried about me being out here so far away but now i'm finding out that he has been talking to them and they are encouraging him to try and make the marriage work. they haven't bothered to ask me my side of it, but maybe thats my fault for trying to sort out my own problems instead of unloading onto them.
His own family have sent me messages saying that they know i don't really want to leave and what a lovely man he can be. i'm starting to feel trapped in a corner and it would be so easy right now just to give in and put up with all his behaviour and stay married and miserable. |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by Scrundlebunny
(Post 7796889)
it would be so easy right now just to give in and put up with all his behaviour and stay married and miserable.
Seriously though, it is difficult even for the in laws on either side, as they often don't know the full story, and can only react on the bits that they do know, or are told. I know of some where the husbands family have sided with the wife, and dis-owned the son. Others of course side with blood relatives no matter what. |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by ABCDiamond
(Post 7796915)
Why should you be any different to the rest of us married ones ? :rofl: :rofl: ;)
Seriously though, it is difficult even for the in laws on either side, as they often don't know the full story, and can only react on the bits that they do know, or are told. I know of some where the husbands family have sided with the wife, and dis-owned the son. Others of course side with blood relatives no matter what. |
Re: Divorce in queensland?
Originally Posted by Scrundlebunny
(Post 7796889)
Question for those of you that have been through this divorce stuff - how did your families react? i thought i'd have support from both sides, but it turns out i'm not getting it rom either. i didn't want to involve my own family cos i know they've always been a bit worried about me being out here so far away but now i'm finding out that he has been talking to them and they are encouraging him to try and make the marriage work. they haven't bothered to ask me my side of it, but maybe thats my fault for trying to sort out my own problems instead of unloading onto them.
His own family have sent me messages saying that they know i don't really want to leave and what a lovely man he can be. i'm starting to feel trapped in a corner and it would be so easy right now just to give in and put up with all his behaviour and stay married and miserable. |
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