Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
Nov 25th 2009, 4:42 am
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Alice Springs NT
Posts: 180
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!! Now
this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant ****in blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid ****in
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
****in throttle him. ****in heat! By the time I get to work the car's
radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin ****in wet, and I smell
like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ****in arse was on fire. I
lost
2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ****in
arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a ****in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and ****in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ****in place? Water rationing will be
next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the
****in
pool. Even the palms can't live in this ****in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid ****er. **** Alice Springs! What
kind
of a sick demented ****in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are ****in kiddin
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!! Now
this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant ****in blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid ****in
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
****in throttle him. ****in heat! By the time I get to work the car's
radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin ****in wet, and I smell
like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ****in arse was on fire. I
lost
2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ****in
arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a ****in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and ****in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ****in place? Water rationing will be
next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the
****in
pool. Even the palms can't live in this ****in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid ****er. **** Alice Springs! What
kind
of a sick demented ****in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are ****in kiddin
Nov 25th 2009, 5:28 am
#2
Oiiii.. You slaggg!
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Brisbaneshire
Posts: 5,209
Re: Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
August 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!! Now
this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant ****in blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid ****in
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
****in throttle him. ****in heat! By the time I get to work the car's
radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin ****in wet, and I smell
like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ****in arse was on fire. I
lost
2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ****in
arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a ****in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and ****in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ****in place? Water rationing will be
next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the
****in
pool. Even the palms can't live in this ****in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid ****er. **** Alice Springs! What
kind
of a sick demented ****in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are ****in kiddin
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!! Now
this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the
verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant ****in blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th:
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid ****in
place.
November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
****in throttle him. ****in heat! By the time I get to work the car's
radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin ****in wet, and I smell
like baked cat!!
November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ****in arse was on fire. I
lost
2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ****in
arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a ****in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and ****in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ****in place? Water rationing will be
next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the
****in
pool. Even the palms can't live in this ****in heat.
November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid ****er. **** Alice Springs! What
kind
of a sick demented ****in idiot would want to live here?
December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are ****in kiddin
Nov 25th 2009, 6:13 am
#6
Proudly Deplorable
Joined: May 2003
Location: Alloha snack bar
Posts: 24,246
Nov 25th 2009, 6:20 am
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,042
Re: Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
****in brilliant for ****s sake
Nov 25th 2009, 6:33 am
#8
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,815
Re: Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=576705 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489897 - Perth
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=506537 - Gold Coast
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=399904 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=352156 - Alice
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381549 - SA
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=363745 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=330309 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288367 - Brisbane (and at least 6 others!!)
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=365804 - Karratha
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=344184 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132160 - Port Hedland
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=339413 - Mt Isa
OK, I'm bored now
Nov 25th 2009, 6:48 am
#10
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,815
Nov 25th 2009, 7:55 am
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: SOUTH SIDE BRISBANE
Posts: 1,364
Re: Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=586467 - WA
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=576705 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489897 - Perth
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=506537 - Gold Coast
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=399904 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=352156 - Alice
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381549 - SA
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=363745 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=330309 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288367 - Brisbane (and at least 6 others!!)
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=365804 - Karratha
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=344184 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132160 - Port Hedland
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=339413 - Mt Isa
OK, I'm bored now
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=576705 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489897 - Perth
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=506537 - Gold Coast
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=399904 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=352156 - Alice
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=381549 - SA
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=363745 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=330309 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288367 - Brisbane (and at least 6 others!!)
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=365804 - Karratha
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=344184 & http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132160 - Port Hedland
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=339413 - Mt Isa
OK, I'm bored now
Nov 25th 2009, 8:25 am
#12
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,815
