Crap from the past
Dec 9th 2009, 9:28 am
#31
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: Crap from the past
No they aren't! I was this person then too. And yes, lighter fuel and the bbq. Bring it on.
That's the way I think too, K. Plus if I pip it tomorrow, I won't have to leave everyone with a load of crap to go through.
I was laughing at my bloke last night who has a gift, bought by someone he was once in a relationship with and it's a bit old and knackered. So I asked if I bought him a new one, would he wear it... and he said no because he was emotionally attached to the item...
which made me laugh a lot... mainly because he's attached to something from a failed relationship yet wouldn't wear the new item... from his emotionally successful relationship....
That's the way I think too, K. Plus if I pip it tomorrow, I won't have to leave everyone with a load of crap to go through.
I was laughing at my bloke last night who has a gift, bought by someone he was once in a relationship with and it's a bit old and knackered. So I asked if I bought him a new one, would he wear it... and he said no because he was emotionally attached to the item...
which made me laugh a lot... mainly because he's attached to something from a failed relationship yet wouldn't wear the new item... from his emotionally successful relationship....
Dec 9th 2009, 9:42 am
#32
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Crap from the past
But presumably when he received the original gift the relationship was successful and there are good memories related to the object. Just because the relationship eventually failed, doesn't take away the good bits. Your children are good bits from your failed relationship, I don't imagine you are getting rid of them?
It's not the hanging on to it, it was the *If I purchased him a new one, would he wear it...? No he'd rather hang onto the old one because of the sentimentality. Yet the one I buy wouldn't have any sentimentality?*
See, I just find that odd and slightly amusing. In fact, I had one of those moments of giggling uncontrollably at the reasoning behind it. Oh, that and the 30 year music lesson. But that's another story.
As for my relationship with my ex husband, that rather depends on whether I classify it as 'failed' doesn't it?!! There's no failure, only learning in my life.
And I'd never link my children to anything with the word 'fail' in it... Their father is part of them, so if I reject his role in their upbringing, then I reject them. Far too harmful.
Dec 9th 2009, 9:49 am
#33
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Crap from the past
My point is missing obviously.
It's not the hanging on to it, it was the *If I purchased him a new one, would he wear it...? No he'd rather hang onto the old one because of the sentimentality. Yet the one I buy wouldn't have any sentimentality?*
See, I just find that odd and slightly amusing. In fact, I had one of those moments of giggling uncontrollably at the reasoning behind it. Oh, that and the 30 year music lesson. But that's another story.
As for my relationship with my ex husband, that rather depends on whether I classify it as 'failed' doesn't it?!! There's no failure, only learning in my life.
And I'd never link my children to anything with the word 'fail' in it... Their father is part of them, so if I reject his role in their upbringing, then I reject them. Far too harmful.
It's not the hanging on to it, it was the *If I purchased him a new one, would he wear it...? No he'd rather hang onto the old one because of the sentimentality. Yet the one I buy wouldn't have any sentimentality?*
See, I just find that odd and slightly amusing. In fact, I had one of those moments of giggling uncontrollably at the reasoning behind it. Oh, that and the 30 year music lesson. But that's another story.
As for my relationship with my ex husband, that rather depends on whether I classify it as 'failed' doesn't it?!! There's no failure, only learning in my life.
And I'd never link my children to anything with the word 'fail' in it... Their father is part of them, so if I reject his role in their upbringing, then I reject them. Far too harmful.
Not the same thing but I have one cut glass tumbler that was one of a set that my grandparents owned. I have it and look after it because it brings to mind a summer day in their garden and the smells and memories are in that glass but I don't have it because it was the grandparents, they weren't great people and I don't miss them (the mother's parents
) it's because it's a tangible memory of a brief moment in time.
Dec 9th 2009, 9:49 am
#34
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Crap from the past
I admit, I was just being arsey and putting the counter argument. What you do with the detritus from a previous relationship depends on how that previous relationship ran its course and ended . . . full of emotion - molotov cocktail . . . more a petering out then why get rid? . . . Breville toasted sandwich makers don't come cheap . . .
You, being arsey?
I must say, I am surprised how expensive those toastie things are!
Dec 9th 2009, 9:57 am
#35
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Crap from the past
No your point wasn't missing but we all have 'stuff' that we're sentimental about for whatever reason, it may have nothing to do with who gave it, why they gave it etc, it could be that it brings to mind a day, an hour, a minute of brilliance, or a smell or anything. Just because he got the item from an ex doesn't stop that item being a bit of 'stuff'. If you get what I mean.
Yes, the item my bloke owns, he says 'It's just a thing'... but wouldn't wear a new one bought by me... so it's more than just a 'thing' isn't it?
I really find this interesting how people hold things with them. It's fine, the item isn't an object of obsession. It doesn't make me want to go through his stuff and cut the heads off his old girlfriend or anything (actually, his ex wife got rid of those photographs anyway!!!)...I'm just really interested how people attach huge significance to things.
Not the same thing but I have one cut glass tumbler that was one of a set that my grandparents owned. I have it and look after it because it brings to mind a summer day in their garden and the smells and memories are in that glass but I don't have it because it was the grandparents, they weren't great people and I don't miss them (the mother's parents ) it's because it's a tangible memory of a brief moment in time.
) it's because it's a tangible memory of a brief moment in time.
Fascinating isn't it!
Dec 9th 2009, 11:06 am
#36
Banned
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: Crap from the past
My 1988 Barberton Beerfest Mug. I loved beer so much back then and we have remained best friends ever since 
.
.
Dec 9th 2009, 11:07 am
#37
I'm Old Gregg!
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: A Former Bogan Colony in QLD
Posts: 8,460
Re: Crap from the past
What crap/sentimental stuff do you carry with you from the past into your present relationships?
IE - photographs of your ex girlfriends, or are they still 'best friends' even years later?
Is your partner ok with it?
Do men and women view carrying 'history' forward with them differently?
1000 words, double spaced, marks out of 20.
Off you go.
IE - photographs of your ex girlfriends, or are they still 'best friends' even years later?
Is your partner ok with it?
Do men and women view carrying 'history' forward with them differently?
1000 words, double spaced, marks out of 20.
Off you go.
rings, photos, used condoms etc
Dec 9th 2009, 11:19 am
#38
Not allowed opinions.
Joined: Nov 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 4,565
Re: Crap from the past
I have a hard drive full of nude photos and videos of ex GFs. But I guess that’s not the romantic answer you were looking for…
Dec 9th 2009, 11:23 am
#39
I'm Old Gregg!
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: A Former Bogan Colony in QLD
Posts: 8,460
Dec 9th 2009, 11:27 am
#40
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Crap from the past
I wasn't looking for a romantic answer at all!
Dec 9th 2009, 11:47 am
#42
I'm Old Gregg!
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: A Former Bogan Colony in QLD
Posts: 8,460
Dec 9th 2009, 12:00 pm
#43
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,289
Re: Crap from the past
That made me laugh!I was given a microwave by a boyfriend in 1990. We broke up a year later and I met my husband another year later. We still use that microwave!
I sometimes marvel at how long the microwave has lasted. But I don't actually think of it as "oh, it was a present from X". It has no sentimental value for me. And the day it stops working it'll be thrown out and we'll buy a new one.
Dec 9th 2009, 12:01 pm
#44
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Hill overlooking the SE Melbourne suburbs
Posts: 16,622
Re: Crap from the past
I admit, I was just being arsey and putting the counter argument. What you do with the detritus from a previous relationship depends on how that previous relationship ran its course and ended . . . full of emotion - molotov cocktail . . . more a petering out then why get rid? . . . Breville toasted sandwich makers don't come cheap . . .
Actually I believe people are quite entitled to have sentimental attachment to things despite old, failed relationships. It might be an attachment to the item itself of course and not some dubious sign of not letting go.
My wife has a few of these sorts of things and I encourage it. If I got precious about it - that could cause issues in itself. Maybe it would show insecurity (who knows - I tend not to do argey-bargey play-politics in relationships - refuse to).
