Anyone got anything funny to say?

England will win the world cup.

Nobody.....??

This forum used to be so funny, I'd sit posting with tears streaming down my face every time I came on....now ..it's once in a while..

What do you think has changed ....suppose this is aimed at 'older' posters.....but new people are welcome to comment too

No Bordy...that's not funny...it's ludicrous

What do you call a male teabag?

A He-brew.

Two guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.

While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.

The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E. , you know...
''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.''

The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know...
''Double Income, No Kids Yet. "

They turn to the woman and ask her.
''What are you?''

She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know...
Wash, Iron, *****, Etc.''

Hello

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

spoilsport

OK I say I say I say a very large gentleman walked into our shop the other day, the shop keeper said can I help you sir?

the gentleman said no thanks, I just came in to look round!

That's a cracker! lol

How do you make a dog drink?

Put it in a blender.

Did you hear about the vegetarian's funeral?

There was a big turnip.

Did you hear the one about the two TV aerials who got married?

The wedding was shite, but they had a cracking reception.

This is the funniest thing that I have seen for a while:

http://www.419eater.com/html/john_boko.htm

I love to see scammers getting scammed. And this is a cracking example!

Enjoy!


--paj

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, so he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello."

"is your daddy home?" he asked.

'Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No"

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"

"Yes"

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No"

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy." whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the fireman," came the whispered reply.

Growing concerned and even more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece of the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?'

"A hello copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello copper".

Alarmed, concerned, and even more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:

"ME"

The house is Brisbane that got splattered with a very large truckload of sloppy cow manure today.