kez81

My parents were very overprotective over us still are my 19 year old brother will go out clubbing and my mum will stay up for him coming home she cant sleep unless she knows he's back he doesnt get home till 4/5am normally.

When i stayed at home she was like that too thats why i normally chose to stay at friends houses but even then she would call me early morning to see i was ok it was annoying at the time but i now understand.

My daughter is only 4 so wont know what i will be like, hopefully i will be protective but not overprotective kids need independents too, my mum also did everything for me right up till i moved out i was molly coddled so much didnt have a clue how do anything for myself lucky i was a quick learner

kezx

kez81

I dont think that be wary of your kids swimming in the sea makes you an overprotective mother im also very nervous about it my husband takes my daughter in and im constantly telling him keep a tight hold of her its one of my biggest fears i nearly drowned in a swimming pool when i was kid and i find the ocean/ swimming pools very scary, but i wouldnt say that was being overprotective just cautious.

kezx

Swerv-o

This is very true I think. Many kids these days really don't have a concept of cause and effect - if I do some thing A, then the likely consequences are going to be B.

Spend a couple of hours in a modern classroom, and you will see kids acting with no comprehension of of the fact that their actions can lead to greater, and further ranging reactions and consequences.

Personally, I think that kids should be allowed to experience danger and situations where the risk of repercussions is large. It acts as an important learning experience, and in some cases a useful form of natural selection.

S

Hutch

I agree, but there is a line that's crossed. My wife shits a brick whenever I'm out in the ocean. One time I was out surfing and the local news came on to report a shark sighting exactly where we happened to be. She was all for calling the coast guard . She doesn't go in the surf herself, other than to splash around in the breakers with our son, but she does try hard not to look scared, so he doesn't pick up on her insecurities (same reason she acts 'hard' around spiders).

I was lucky enough to get sent on an Outward Bound course as a kid, it made a huge difference to me. Managed danger admitedly, but I was such a twat as a kid anyway I saw plenty of the unmanaged variety too.

Vash the Stampede

Dunno, anyone feel like looking them up?

sunbather

As someone who has lost a child in an RTA, I will try to protect my remaining child as much as I can. You get no second chance once your child has gone. You don't have the luxury of hindsight. You don't have the following decades to discuss it with your child when they become an adult and ponder over their own children (the grandchildren you will never get).

On top of this you have the media ready to expose your raw emotions to the world and whip them up into a frenzy as to why you had not taken more care of your child. Or god forbid, someone will slap a lawsuit on you for having not done more for your child.

It's a no win situation. Your damned if you protect and your damned if you don't.

UpperWoopWoop

My 5 cents worth.

This is an issue that I think about quite a lot. I dont want my children growing up to be scared of their own shadows, but on the other hand - I want them to see adulthood.

When I was a child it was not uncommon to be out all day playing, only coming in for meals and the toilet. My mum taught me what to look out for and not to get myself in a situation that was "not good" IYKWIM. I walked 1/2 hr to the local shopping centre & back at 11 or 12, by myself.

Having read everyones posts, I can see that its not just me who feels this way - that they have to protect their kids more than in the past.

My 2 girls catch the bus home from school and I used to be a little late so they would have "alone time" at the bus stop to get them familiar with not having a parent around (they cant walk home from the bus as its a further 20 min drive). That was until several reports of attempted abductions in the area, not by a lone person in a vehicle but by groups of 2 or 3 men in a vehicle. In my thinking, that would be a very hard situation for a child to deal with.

I am careful with them in parking lots, mainly because of the unthinking, uncautious people who dont give a %$#@ who is walking there.

I am now careful with them in the shopping centres after the incident recently at Midland Gate ( where we shop) of a man who tailed two girls WHO WHERE WITH THEIR FAMILIES and molested them, we dont even need to mention toilets after that little girl in Canningvale was raped & murdered.

On the other side: We have a small property out of the metro area and I let them climb trees, race around, etc. It would not bother me if they where gone for a few hours. They know where they can & cant go & to watch out for cars if they are near the road. They go for bush walks (yes, snakes, spiders etc) and it doesnt bother me. On walks they are with an adult though because at their age they would probably get lost.

So having said all that and looking at it myself - why do I feel this way? I think people in general are less responsible with their actions, their attitude of I dont give a %$#@ about anyone, is pretty prevalent wherever you go.
I think there is more going on with paedophiles & the like because they are better informed thanks to the internet, mobile phones & email. And of course we are better informed about all the things that happen, we are made more aware of it.

I also think we need to find other ways to teach our kids so they dont get the cotton wool effect.

How do you get around it?

Catherine

Ransi

I have to say, paedophiles abducting my kids are my biggest fear...

We have had 3 scares of paedophiles on the prowl in Ocean Reef in the last 14 months, that I know of.

If I am an overprotective mother for not allowing my son to come home by himself in the dark...then I am glad I am.

If I am an overprotective mother for not allowing my daughter to walk the 6 minutes to school by herself...then I am glad I am.

Geordie George

OK, without meaning to offend or upset <but donning tin hat and ducking for cover, just in case>:

isn't it the case that most children are abused by people that they know? The chances of a complete stranger harming your children are so slim. They're, at least statistically, more threatened by people that they know and trust. Whether it be a relative, a family friend or their scout/guide leader, whatever.

Swerv-o

Don't forget catholic priest...

S

Geordie George

You might need to borrow my tin hat with that comment.

Ransi

But 86% of statistics are made up

Swerv-o

What sort of 'scares' exactly? How do you have a 'paedophile scare'? Do the police drive around the neighbourhood with a loudhailer, warning all parents to keep their kids inside?

Is there a stated police case that could be examined or investigated? Have children actually been abducted or interfered with, and it been reported in the local press?

Or is it just the local jungle drums in the community generating Chinese whispers from what could ostensibly be innocent, coincidental or misinterpreted incidents.

I often feel that this sort of scare attitude is more often than not used by parents as an excuse for the smothered way that they treat their children, than any realistic response to a potential paedophile incident.

S

Ransi

Near abductions...ie, the child has managed to get away before being forced into a van.
School issues warnings to parents, like the one last week when a white van stopped and tried to grab a 13 year old girl walking to school, only to drive off when an adult on a bike called out.

Swerv-o

And where have these been reported?

S