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-   -   caustic comments from home (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/caustic-comments-home-472114/)

JoolsB Aug 6th 2007 9:25 pm

Re: caustic comments from home
 
Sounds like jealousy that she'd never have the gumption to move out of her safety zone as you have! Family are extremely important as we'd all agree but closeness can be maintained long distance-my family are all in Aus apart for my father who is in Hungary-we all miss each other like mad but know we are only a call away anytime. Good for you:thumbup:

sandav Aug 6th 2007 10:06 pm

Re: caustic comments from home
 

Originally Posted by JohnandMichelle (Post 5156829)
My Mam met one of my best friend's sisters the other day. She's always been a bit of a cow anyway, so I don't know why I'm surprised. She asked after us and Mam said that we were having a great time, loving it in Australia, building our own home, kids were settled, etc., etc. (She would have said all of this to her anyway, even we were hating it here....!) In reply, she said words to the effect: "They might be having a great lifestyle there, but it wouldn't be for me, I'm more "into family" - suggesting to my poor Mother that our family isn't. Mam emailed me as she does every day and I'm still spitting feathers. My Mother misses us terribly still and she really doesn't need the likes of her to pass sarky comments like this. Needless to say, I decided to bend the cow's cyber ear and sent her a little email as follows:

Hello Ann

I wanted to write to let you know that next time you meet my Mother, have the good grace to keep your caustic comments to yourself. Apparently you said that “they might be having a great life there, but I couldn’t do that because I’m more into family” or words to that effect. How dare you infer that your family are better than ours because we have moved to Australia or that your family are “closer” because you all live a stone’s throw from Loughnane Terrace. I’m lucky that my parents raised me (and my brothers) to be independent and adventurous in life. I feel very lucky to have the privilege of living in this beautiful country beside my eldest brother and am as close to the rest of my family as ever, just in different ways. I know I’ll be glad at the end of my life that I have tried different things and not been in the same job or house for 30 or 40 years.

My Mother certainly does not need the likes of you making comments like that to her. She misses us, but is proud that we’re very happy here – the kids especially have a much better lifestyle than they would have had in Galway. Hope your Mother is as proud of you……..


I tried not to get too personal (it was very hard!), but didn't want to go down to her level. It's sent now - hope I did the right thing....:eek:

Good for you girl. We have had a few comments as well and we are only putting the house on the market next week. I think that jealousy is an Irish thing just because they wouldn't have the guts to upset "Mammy" and move off. As for the family thing, you are into the family thing only its yours and not the whole extended family. Which quite honestly you can do without sometimes. At least you can still keep in touch with your family by all the different communications we have now, not like it was years ago. Don't let this one comment get to you and get on with enjoying your new life. Better than staying in Ireland where in my opinion there is no future for the kids. At least you are trying to give yours a good start in life. Sorry for going off on one.
Sandra

JohnandMichelle Aug 6th 2007 11:16 pm

Re: caustic comments from home
 

Originally Posted by Geelong Gent (Post 5157245)
Daily communication between family & friends. How often does this happen when in the same town or village. Food for thought:)


"but it wouldn't be for me, I'm more "into family"."

Does this mean we all have to live in the same street, village or country? Maybe for some who have nothing else worth living for???

Who need a sense of control over immediate family or

Making excuses for a family that would not be able to make a move (thinking legal constraints / black sheep stuck in prison)

So true - this girl comes from a family of eight - six girls, two boys. Her Mam and Dad are wonderful people, but have barely ever left Galway and have never left the country. All of the kids bar the two boys live within streets of Mam and Dad. One of the girls, my own friend left her husband and kids for another guy a few months ago - it didn't work out with the new guy - and is now living back with Mammy at 41 years of age :( Four of her wonderful sisters didn't speak to her until recently because she had "shamed" the family - Irish Catholic guilt is alive and kicking in 2007 .......:ohmy:

JohnandMichelle Aug 6th 2007 11:17 pm

Re: caustic comments from home
 

Originally Posted by sandav (Post 5158083)
Good for you girl. We have had a few comments as well and we are only putting the house on the market next week. I think that jealousy is an Irish thing just because they wouldn't have the guts to upset "Mammy" and move off. As for the family thing, you are into the family thing only its yours and not the whole extended family. Which quite honestly you can do without sometimes. At least you can still keep in touch with your family by all the different communications we have now, not like it was years ago. Don't let this one comment get to you and get on with enjoying your new life. Better than staying in Ireland where in my opinion there is no future for the kids. At least you are trying to give yours a good start in life. Sorry for going off on one.
Sandra


Have pm'd you Sandra x

JohnandMichelle Aug 6th 2007 11:19 pm

Re: caustic comments from home
 
Thanks for comments everyone. Doubt I'll get a reply and, although I agree with you, Wendy, I shouldn't let her see how she's got to me, but she's made other comments before similar to this one and I'm not letting this one go.

Wendy Aug 6th 2007 11:21 pm

Re: caustic comments from home
 

Originally Posted by JohnandMichelle (Post 5158390)
Thanks for comments everyone. Doubt I'll get a reply and, although I agree with you, Wendy, I shouldn't let her see how she's got to me, but she's made other comments before similar to this one and I'm not letting this one go.


I've actually changed my mind, and I'd have probably said something myself by now :D

JohnandMichelle Aug 6th 2007 11:30 pm

Re: caustic comments from home
 

Originally Posted by Wendy (Post 5158402)
I've actually changed my mind, and I'd have probably said something myself by now :D

Makes me feel better - thanks :p


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