Caught short?
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:04 pm
#1
Thread Starter
saoirse
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 6,248
Caught short?
My wife and i were walking home feeling particularly "refreshed" after six hours in our local pub.She decided she HAD to have a leak,so we went down this little back alley,but that was still too public for her.We noticed a gate in the wall and i said i would hold the gate while she went behind the wall.She was just letting out a soft aaahhhh when a bloody great dog appeared from nowhere and bit her!
I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!
Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:05 pm
#2
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,067
Re: Caught short?
My wife and i were walking home feeling particularly "refreshed" after six hours in our local pub.She decided she HAD to have a leak,so we went down this little back alley,but that was still too public for her.We noticed a gate in the wall and i said i would hold the gate while she went behind the wall.She was just letting out a soft aaahhhh when a bloody great dog appeared from nowhere and bit her! I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!
Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
sorry but that was funny as hell. k sent for your poor wife.
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:08 pm
#3
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 453
From: Brisbane
Re: Caught short?
I can't believe you ran away and left her !!
One of the reasons my ex is my ex is his many attempts at peeing in the wardrobe! My friend's husband peed in her slipper and couldn't understand why it leaked all over the place
One of the reasons my ex is my ex is his many attempts at peeing in the wardrobe! My friend's husband peed in her slipper and couldn't understand why it leaked all over the place
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:14 pm
#4
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,376
Re: Caught short?
My wife and i were walking home feeling particularly "refreshed" after six hours in our local pub.She decided she HAD to have a leak,so we went down this little back alley,but that was still too public for her.We noticed a gate in the wall and i said i would hold the gate while she went behind the wall.She was just letting out a soft aaahhhh when a bloody great dog appeared from nowhere and bit her! I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!
Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
Years ago....one lil 'take on the world' squaddie. Mate invites him home to Runcorn for a good drinking sesh one weekend. So off we go. Good night out on the Friday...gets back, worse for wear, heads to bed. 3 storey house, my room and toilet on top floor, lounge and dining room on 2nd floor, kitchen etc...downstairs.
Gets into bed, needs to go.....ooh, REALLY needs to go.. and we aint talking
number 1's!
Gets out of bed, stumbles around a bit, finds stairs and heads down em.....enters lounge NAKED (as I later found out) to be confronted by mates mum, dad and sister!!
Mates dad kindly steers me back up stairs to toilet.....gets back up stairs. Can I find the toilet? Can I buggery.....!
Landing carpet got it - full pelt!
Never lived it down, not even to this day! Funny thing was, I went back to bed none the wiser til his mum woke me up the next day with a bucket and some bleach!
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:17 pm
#5
Thread Starter
saoirse
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 6,248
Re: Caught short?
Ha Ha!!! Dont know if I should be telling this, but.........
Years ago....one lil 'take on the world' squaddie. Mate invites him home to Runcorn for a good drinking sesh one weekend. So off we go. Good night out on the Friday...gets back, worse for wear, heads to bed. 3 storey house, my room and toilet on top floor, lounge and dining room on 2nd floor, kitchen etc...downstairs.
Gets into bed, needs to go.....ooh, REALLY needs to go.. and we aint talking
number 1's!
Gets out of bed, stumbles around a bit, finds stairs and heads down em.....enters lounge NAKED (as I later found out) to be confronted by mates mum, dad and sister!!
Mates dad kindly steers me back up stairs to toilet.....gets back up stairs. Can I find the toilet? Can I buggery.....!
Landing carpet got it - full pelt!
Never lived it down, not even to this day! Funny thing was, I went back to bed none the wiser til his mum woke me up the next day with a bucket and some bleach!
Years ago....one lil 'take on the world' squaddie. Mate invites him home to Runcorn for a good drinking sesh one weekend. So off we go. Good night out on the Friday...gets back, worse for wear, heads to bed. 3 storey house, my room and toilet on top floor, lounge and dining room on 2nd floor, kitchen etc...downstairs.
Gets into bed, needs to go.....ooh, REALLY needs to go.. and we aint talking
number 1's!
Gets out of bed, stumbles around a bit, finds stairs and heads down em.....enters lounge NAKED (as I later found out) to be confronted by mates mum, dad and sister!!
Mates dad kindly steers me back up stairs to toilet.....gets back up stairs. Can I find the toilet? Can I buggery.....!
Landing carpet got it - full pelt!
Never lived it down, not even to this day! Funny thing was, I went back to bed none the wiser til his mum woke me up the next day with a bucket and some bleach!
'KIN' HELL!
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:19 pm
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 6,135
From: Melbourne
Re: Caught short?
This reminds me of a time I went to Heathrow with a friend... We were about 18 at the time and she had driven there to greet her boyfriend who was in the army and was coming home on leave.....
She was desparate to use the loo and we got stuck in heavy traffic at the top of the M4 so by the time we arrived in the multi-storey carpark she was bursting.
Feeling really brave we pulled in between 2 already parked cars and Kirsty jumped out of the driver's seat opened her door and the passenger door, squatted on the floor, hitched up her skirt, pulled down her undies and started to wee....
Imagine her surprise when the darkened glass window of the car next to us opened and a guy hung out and shouted "Nice arse love!!!!!"
She was mid flow and had to stay and finish or risk being covered
I was PMSL........
(Might be prudent to mention we broke down in the car on the way home at which point she declared to me - I never passed my test Lau so you will have to pretend to have been driving if the Police stop Luckily they never but to add insult to injury we had to be towed off the motorway. Kirsty a student didn't have any money on her so guess who got stuck with the tow truck bill and repair costs)
She was desparate to use the loo and we got stuck in heavy traffic at the top of the M4 so by the time we arrived in the multi-storey carpark she was bursting.
Feeling really brave we pulled in between 2 already parked cars and Kirsty jumped out of the driver's seat opened her door and the passenger door, squatted on the floor, hitched up her skirt, pulled down her undies and started to wee....
Imagine her surprise when the darkened glass window of the car next to us opened and a guy hung out and shouted "Nice arse love!!!!!"
She was mid flow and had to stay and finish or risk being covered
I was PMSL........
(Might be prudent to mention we broke down in the car on the way home at which point she declared to me - I never passed my test Lau so you will have to pretend to have been driving if the Police stop
Luckily they never but to add insult to injury we had to be towed off the motorway. Kirsty a student didn't have any money on her so guess who got stuck with the tow truck bill and repair costs)
Last edited by Reedy; Nov 14th 2007 at 7:23 pm.
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:25 pm
#7
Has left the building
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,079
Re: Caught short?
My wife and i were walking home feeling particularly "refreshed" after six hours in our local pub.She decided she HAD to have a leak,so we went down this little back alley,but that was still too public for her.We noticed a gate in the wall and i said i would hold the gate while she went behind the wall.She was just letting out a soft aaahhhh when a bloody great dog appeared from nowhere and bit her! I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!
Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
I think it would have bitten me too if i hadn't run off!Worst place for me would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.
Where's the dodgiest place you've ever HAD to take a leak?
DONT TOUCH
Nov 14th 2007 | 7:35 pm
#8
locked in the attic
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 4,657
Re: Caught short?
This isn't so much 'caught short', just plain stupid. My husband and I met in Surfers Paradise when we were both backpacking. We met in a nightclub, 'Cocktails and Dreams' and after a drunken snog arranged an 'official date'.
But the day we planned to meet, a group of swedish girls who were staying with him and his mates decided to take them out for a lunchtime beer or 10. They went to the beer garden for dollar pots and needless to say got absolutely hammered. I later found out that they got thrown out as my husband had stripped completely naked and stood on the pool table. Anyway, once dressed, they made their way back to my flat, but along the way Ross turned to his friend and asked if he had ever deliberately wet himself. The answer was no, so Ross said why not and proceeded to wee down the inside of his jeans. He then staggered round to mine, bearing in mind this was 6 in the evening, with the intention of explaining he may be a little late for our date. He was pissed as a fart, had one wet leg (which at the time I didn't notice) and could barely speak. He crashed on my bed then leapt up 2 minutes later and ran out the flat. Not surprisingly he never made the date. I later found out he fell asleep on the beach, was moved on by the police, was sick on his trainers, attempted to wash them, then melted them in the oven, trying to dry them!
Of course I was hugely impressed by this behaviour and we got married
9 months later. That was 15 years ago and he hasn't wet himself since....to my knowledge.
But the day we planned to meet, a group of swedish girls who were staying with him and his mates decided to take them out for a lunchtime beer or 10. They went to the beer garden for dollar pots and needless to say got absolutely hammered. I later found out that they got thrown out as my husband had stripped completely naked and stood on the pool table. Anyway, once dressed, they made their way back to my flat, but along the way Ross turned to his friend and asked if he had ever deliberately wet himself. The answer was no, so Ross said why not and proceeded to wee down the inside of his jeans. He then staggered round to mine, bearing in mind this was 6 in the evening, with the intention of explaining he may be a little late for our date. He was pissed as a fart, had one wet leg (which at the time I didn't notice) and could barely speak. He crashed on my bed then leapt up 2 minutes later and ran out the flat. Not surprisingly he never made the date. I later found out he fell asleep on the beach, was moved on by the police, was sick on his trainers, attempted to wash them, then melted them in the oven, trying to dry them!
Of course I was hugely impressed by this behaviour and we got married
9 months later. That was 15 years ago and he hasn't wet himself since....to my knowledge.
Nov 14th 2007 | 11:02 pm
#9
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,067
Re: Caught short?
This isn't so much 'caught short', just plain stupid. My husband and I met in Surfers Paradise when we were both backpacking. We met in a nightclub, 'Cocktails and Dreams' and after a drunken snog arranged an 'official date'.
But the day we planned to meet, a group of swedish girls who were staying with him and his mates decided to take them out for a lunchtime beer or 10. They went to the beer garden for dollar pots and needless to say got absolutely hammered. I later found out that they got thrown out as my husband had stripped completely naked and stood on the pool table. Anyway, once dressed, they made their way back to my flat, but along the way Ross turned to his friend and asked if he had ever deliberately wet himself. The answer was no, so Ross said why not and proceeded to wee down the inside of his jeans. He then staggered round to mine, bearing in mind this was 6 in the evening, with the intention of explaining he may be a little late for our date. He was pissed as a fart, had one wet leg (which at the time I didn't notice) and could barely speak. He crashed on my bed then leapt up 2 minutes later and ran out the flat. Not surprisingly he never made the date. I later found out he fell asleep on the beach, was moved on by the police, was sick on his trainers, attempted to wash them, then melted them in the oven, trying to dry them!
Of course I was hugely impressed by this behaviour and we got married
9 months later. That was 15 years ago and he hasn't wet himself since....to my knowledge.
But the day we planned to meet, a group of swedish girls who were staying with him and his mates decided to take them out for a lunchtime beer or 10. They went to the beer garden for dollar pots and needless to say got absolutely hammered. I later found out that they got thrown out as my husband had stripped completely naked and stood on the pool table. Anyway, once dressed, they made their way back to my flat, but along the way Ross turned to his friend and asked if he had ever deliberately wet himself. The answer was no, so Ross said why not and proceeded to wee down the inside of his jeans. He then staggered round to mine, bearing in mind this was 6 in the evening, with the intention of explaining he may be a little late for our date. He was pissed as a fart, had one wet leg (which at the time I didn't notice) and could barely speak. He crashed on my bed then leapt up 2 minutes later and ran out the flat. Not surprisingly he never made the date. I later found out he fell asleep on the beach, was moved on by the police, was sick on his trainers, attempted to wash them, then melted them in the oven, trying to dry them!
Of course I was hugely impressed by this behaviour and we got married
9 months later. That was 15 years ago and he hasn't wet himself since....to my knowledge.
aww true love!!
Nov 15th 2007 | 6:31 am
#10
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 20,690
From: in the Sydney asylum
Re: Caught short?
not so much caught short as exposed!!
went to a roman villa and desperately needed the loo, the loo was unisex a rickety old hut, I had on a jump suit so had to completely undress to go finally got it all off(it was a snug one) and sat down pure bliss,
then a bloke came over was rattling the door I said I was in there but dont think he heard over his bashing the door ! suddenly like a comedy show the whole thing collapsed outwards like petals leaving me naked sitting on the loo! I managed to ask the bloke to pass me the bogroll and he then ran off I vacated the ruins fast!!
went to a roman villa and desperately needed the loo, the loo was unisex a rickety old hut, I had on a jump suit so had to completely undress to go finally got it all off(it was a snug one) and sat down pure bliss,
then a bloke came over was rattling the door I said I was in there but dont think he heard over his bashing the door ! suddenly like a comedy show the whole thing collapsed outwards like petals leaving me naked sitting on the loo! I managed to ask the bloke to pass me the bogroll and he then ran off I vacated the ruins fast!!
Nov 15th 2007 | 7:00 am
#11
so far so good
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,011
From: sunshine coast at last!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Caught short?
god you lot are soooooooooo funny just felt i had to share my story
my second date with my now husband................. been clubbing saturday night, i was a little worse for wear, OH was sober as driving, about 2 in morining. half way home i decided i needed to relieve myself pretty smartish, so he pulls over in a seculded spot, i get out climb a slight hill squat down manage to stay steady to do my pee but got a bit of balance trying to stand up , fall over slide down hill into a pile of stinging nettles. i was in soooooooo much pain oh had to take me to a&e where they prescribed the biggest bottle of camaline lotion you have ever seen ( god i must have been a sight) oh spent rest of night applying lotion
now he probably thought it cant get much was than this so i'll stick with her.........13 yrs later
oh and we revisted the spot wear it all happened and right by the stinging nettles was a lake, talk about a close shave
my second date with my now husband................. been clubbing saturday night, i was a little worse for wear, OH was sober as driving, about 2 in morining. half way home i decided i needed to relieve myself pretty smartish, so he pulls over in a seculded spot, i get out climb a slight hill squat down manage to stay steady to do my pee but got a bit of balance trying to stand up , fall over slide down hill into a pile of stinging nettles. i was in soooooooo much pain oh had to take me to a&e where they prescribed the biggest bottle of camaline lotion you have ever seen ( god i must have been a sight
) oh spent rest of night applying lotion now he probably thought it cant get much was than this so i'll stick with her.........13 yrs later
oh and we revisted the spot wear it all happened and right by the stinging nettles was a lake
, talk about a close shave
Nov 15th 2007 | 7:03 am
#12
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 11,994
From: Happily in Adelaide
Re: Caught short?
not so much caught short as exposed!!
went to a roman villa and desperately needed the loo, the loo was unisex a rickety old hut, I had on a jump suit so had to completely undress to go finally got it all off(it was a snug one) and sat down pure bliss,
then a bloke came over was rattling the door I said I was in there but dont think he heard over his bashing the door ! suddenly like a comedy show the whole thing collapsed outwards like petals leaving me naked sitting on the loo! I managed to ask the bloke to pass me the bogroll and he then ran off I vacated the ruins fast!!
went to a roman villa and desperately needed the loo, the loo was unisex a rickety old hut, I had on a jump suit so had to completely undress to go finally got it all off(it was a snug one) and sat down pure bliss,
then a bloke came over was rattling the door I said I was in there but dont think he heard over his bashing the door ! suddenly like a comedy show the whole thing collapsed outwards like petals leaving me naked sitting on the loo! I managed to ask the bloke to pass me the bogroll and he then ran off I vacated the ruins fast!!
god you lot are soooooooooo funny just felt i had to share my story
my second date with my now husband................. been clubbing saturday night, i was a little worse for wear, OH was sober as driving, about 2 in morining. half way home i decided i needed to relieve myself pretty smartish, so he pulls over in a seculded spot, i get out climb a slight hill squat down manage to stay steady to do my pee but got a bit of balance trying to stand up , fall over slide down hill into a pile of stinging nettles. i was in soooooooo much pain oh had to take me to a&e where they prescribed the biggest bottle of camaline lotion you have ever seen ( god i must have been a sight) oh spent rest of night applying lotion
now he probably thought it cant get much was than this so i'll stick with her.........13 yrs later
oh and we revisted the spot wear it all happened and right by the stinging nettles was a lake, talk about a close shave
my second date with my now husband................. been clubbing saturday night, i was a little worse for wear, OH was sober as driving, about 2 in morining. half way home i decided i needed to relieve myself pretty smartish, so he pulls over in a seculded spot, i get out climb a slight hill squat down manage to stay steady to do my pee but got a bit of balance trying to stand up , fall over slide down hill into a pile of stinging nettles. i was in soooooooo much pain oh had to take me to a&e where they prescribed the biggest bottle of camaline lotion you have ever seen ( god i must have been a sight
) oh spent rest of night applying lotion now he probably thought it cant get much was than this so i'll stick with her.........13 yrs later
oh and we revisted the spot wear it all happened and right by the stinging nettles was a lake
, talk about a close shavePMSL!
These are both great stories!
Nov 15th 2007 | 8:03 am
#13
Australia's Doorman
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 11,057
From: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Re: Caught short?
Out on a bike ride down the cycle path between Bath and Bristol with my missus. She stops and says she desperately needs a poo. Only problem being, we're in the middle of nowhere and she really hates going outdoors. So we carry on for a bit before she decides she can't wait any longer. So she leaves me with the bikes and wanders off across this field to the far end, near a steep slope, well away from the cycle path and any possible embarassing encounters with other cyclists. She drops her kecks and gets down to business. Is well into it, just as an Intercity train, slowly appears round the corner on the railway embankment she'd somehow failed to notice. Has to finish her business not more than 10 feet away from a load of commuters in an eight carriage train trundling past her at about 10mph.
Nov 15th 2007 | 4:19 pm
#14
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,012
From: Hot sunny Cairns !
Re: Caught short?
Nothing to compare to some of the classics we've had so far I'm afraid.
Had to pee in someone's drive once on the way home from the pub at Xmas with BiL (now a copper) and the wife, and of course at that point a car comes into view, indicates and turnes into the very drive up which I was peeing. what are the chances of that happening !
also taking a pee in church doorway, 3 am in the middle of nowhere in scotland on the way to watch the RAC rally while my mate tried to wire up the spotlights on the car. car comes round the corner, coppers !
Had to pee in someone's drive once on the way home from the pub at Xmas with BiL (now a copper) and the wife, and of course at that point a car comes into view, indicates and turnes into the very drive up which I was peeing. what are the chances of that happening !
also taking a pee in church doorway, 3 am in the middle of nowhere in scotland on the way to watch the RAC rally while my mate tried to wire up the spotlights on the car. car comes round the corner, coppers !
Nov 15th 2007 | 4:30 pm
#15
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,376
Re: Caught short?
Nothing to compare to some of the classics we've had so far I'm afraid.
Had to pee in someone's drive once on the way home from the pub at Xmas with BiL (now a copper) and the wife, and of course at that point a car comes into view, indicates and turnes into the very drive up which I was peeing. what are the chances of that happening !
also taking a pee in church doorway, 3 am in the middle of nowhere in scotland on the way to watch the RAC rally while my mate tried to wire up the spotlights on the car. car comes round the corner, coppers !
Had to pee in someone's drive once on the way home from the pub at Xmas with BiL (now a copper) and the wife, and of course at that point a car comes into view, indicates and turnes into the very drive up which I was peeing. what are the chances of that happening !
also taking a pee in church doorway, 3 am in the middle of nowhere in scotland on the way to watch the RAC rally while my mate tried to wire up the spotlights on the car. car comes round the corner, coppers !
It's real and really does exist!!!
