shabee

I am really upset this morning and just need to write it down.
My brother in law has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and is going through chemo. In fact he has his 3rd lot to go through tomorrow.

The whole family is devastated.

It is so sad to watch him and my sister in law go through this, all the emotions are unbearable. I cant imagine what they must be going through. For him, knowing that he is going to die and the fear that must go with that. To know he is going to be leaving his family with the heartache of losing him, and the struggle they will have living without him.
For her, well she is watching him going through this every day, and can do nothing to help him. The pain he is going through is terrible and she is seeing this and really can do nothing to help him. She is trying so hard to hold it together for the kids sakes but I am so worried about her, she fears the future now.
What makes it worse for them is that they are now struggling to live and are having major money worries. They have both always worked hard but he has had to give up work and is getting something like £140 a week from the social to keep a family of 4. My sister is signed off her work as she needs to be home looking after him. (which is where she needs to be). I wonder if she would be better off not working!
x

Bernieboy

It's hard to reply to posts like this other than to wish you all the strength to get through the whole process,be strong for your BIL and sister, support them and the kids.Hard as it will be,maintain your own pain within and grieve when the time is right,wishing you great strength.

Sally Simpson

I am so sorry that your family are going through this terrible experience.
To be practical for the long term, your sister is better off remaining employed & signed off sick.
Are they getting support from Macmillan nurses? It certainly sounds as though he needs some symptom control but they also offer lots of practical help & support.

moneypenny20

Totally unable to think of anything intelligent to say other than please don't assume that because you may not get many replies compared to number of viewers that you are alone. People are probably just thinking 'crap what do I say'. My sympathies.

squeezzii

I have a good friend who has very recently found herself in same situation, as her hubby has just been similarly diagnosed out of the blue. Sorry I can say no more to you than I said to her, try and be strong, many people will have you in their thoughts.

midgetjan

Sharon I am so sorry - how bloody awful.

I am so glad you decided to go back to Aberdeen. Imagine how you would've felt if you'd still been over here.

Sending you loving healing thoughts.

Remember you don't have to be strong all the time.
xx

shiels

Sharon so sorry to hear this, our thoughts are with you X

quoll

{{{hugs}}}

itigo

Just typed and retyped my message. Trying to get across what I want to say just comes out wrong so I'll send big hugs to you instead. Be strong for one another.

Jaycee1

So sorry to hear this.
We are all here to listen when ever you need a chat.
J x

lyndhurst

just wanted to send you a ((( hug ))) and tell you im thinking of you and your family...xxxx

Juliecabs

Big (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) from me too.

Julie. x

chrisling

I think it is harder for the people close to your brother in law to deal with the situation than it is for him. I know when friends of mine have been ill there is a feeling of helplessness because there is nothing you can do, yet the ones who are ill can deal with it in their own way.
Be strong for those that need it both now and in the future yet take time to gather your own thoughts.
Life is an energy form, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only changed into another form of energy, it is not the end, just another stage of the journey.
I wish you strength.

Chris.

Perthforme

I was told i had a terminal and very agressive brain tumor just over 2 years ago ( some people on here will remember ) Anyway told I had as little as 6 weeks . Radio n Chemo Worked for me as in remission now thank god . I'm one of the lucky ones , Best wishes for your whole family . Just because your told one out come doen't mean there isn't hope .

pompeyblonde

Hi Sharon, all the best to your family and I do have some idea how you are all feeling as my step mum died aged 46, leaving two children with my dad, unbeliveably sad, horrific {{{hug}}}

on a practical note, as a former UK social worker I wonder if they are claiming all they are entitled to? Your brother in law should, if he has a terminal diagnosis be claiming disability Living allowance under the "special rules" (I have been away 4 years so may have changed a bit) and your sister should be able to get carers benefits on the back of this. Get them to ask to see the hospital social worker if they haven't already, he/she should sort that out for them.

The very best of luck, and take care xx