'The trouble with England is it's being governed by c@@ts'

'Quite frankly old man, there are an awful lot of c@@ts in England and they deserve representation'

Rex Harrison and unidentified MP

Definition of a politician: He is asked to stand, he wants to sit, he is expected to lie.

Winston Churchill

Present policies are leading us to the status of a banana republic that has run out of Bananas - Richard Marsh

A good fish finger butty is hard to beat - Jamie Oliver

If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest - Jerome K Jerome

I never see any home cooking, all I get is fancy stuff - Prince Philip

The Almighty, in his infinite wisdom, did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen - Winston Churchill

The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game......Bill Shankly

Life - and I don't suppose I'm the first to make this comparison - is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal - Neil Gaiman

"A fan club is a group of people who tell an actor he's not alone in the way he feels about himself.”

Kenneth Williams.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes - Oscar Wilde

"Infamy! Infamy! they've all got it in for me!"

Kenneth Williams.

I knew her mother was coming round, I saw the canary throw itself into the cats mouth - Roy Chubby Brown

I couldn't believe it the other day when I picked up a British newspaper and read that 82% of men would rather sleep with a goat than me - Sarah Ferguson Duchess of York

“Suicide is a real threat to health.” – Virginia Bottomley

Is that not an Oxymoron???

Only to an Aussiemoron.