merlotsmum

Oh I like an afternoon titter

Off to get me milk and oats . . . breakfast micro ones of course

soapy©

breast for bix

merlotsmum

One lump or two

soapy©

i was just about to say he only has one mouth, but its a big'un

merlotsmum

Reckon he could get two big ones in

soapy©

easy !!!!!!!!

FluffyTheCampfireSlayer

A scotsman walks intae a bar an' says tae th' barman "line me up ten whiskies" so th' barman lines them up an' th' cheil gulps them doon a body efter anither. "jeez" says th' barman "what ur ye celebratin' 'en?". "my first blaw job" replies th' cheil. "oh well" says th' barman "fur 'at i'll buy ye a body myself." "no thanks" says th' cheil "if ten doesnae gie rid ay th' taste, anither a body willnae help."

Tin hat at the ready!




Anither a body fur yoo:

An sassenach, an irishman, an' a scotsman donner intae a pub an' each buy a pint ay guinness. jist as they waur in th' wey o enjoy their creamy beverage a fly landed in each ay their pints an' becam stuck in th' thick heed. the sassenach pushed his swally awa' frae heem in disgoost. the irishman fished th' offendin' fly it ay his swally an' continued skitin' it as if naethin' hud happened. the scotsman tay, picked th' fly it ay his bevvy, held it it ower th' swally an' 'en started yelling: "spit it it, spit it it ye dobber!!!"

FluffyTheCampfireSlayer

It is just before Scotland v England in the World Cup Group game.

Rooney goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".

Rooney looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Rooney goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Rooney 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Rooney 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down..........






I got sent off after 12 minutes"

biggy

LMFAO now that fuunneee