View Poll Results: Would you let your partner take time out of family holiday for a football match
Nope, and he better not come back
13
24.53%
Yes, better make it worth my while
23
43.40%
Only if I can take time out myself
13
24.53%
Just wait till he gets home.
4
7.55%
Voters: 53. You may not vote on this poll
Is this a big no no ?
Dec 28th 2008, 11:25 am
#16
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Happily in Adelaide
Posts: 11,994
Re: Is this a big no no ?
And it's not Christmas any more and... and..... and.....
Sod not talking to him for 2-3 weeks. He'd have had to go to Emergency if he were my hubby. Not just the leaving for the match but the not doing Christmas dinner when you should have been in bed. Hope he's made up for it all now 
Sod not talking to him for 2-3 weeks. He'd have had to go to Emergency if he were my hubby. Not just the leaving for the match but the not doing Christmas dinner when you should have been in bed. Hope he's made up for it all now The general attitude that football is more important than your family is wearing though. I wanted the Op to know that this is the thin end of the wedge. He does this and it becomes Ok to do it every holiday...
Dec 28th 2008, 11:30 am
#17
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Is this a big no no ?
Trouble was, I was too ill to make my feelings forcibly known at the time... he did suffer for it for a very long time. :curse:
The general attitude that football is more important than your family is wearing though. I wanted the Op to know that this is the thin end of the wedge. He does this and it becomes Ok to do it every holiday...
The general attitude that football is more important than your family is wearing though. I wanted the Op to know that this is the thin end of the wedge. He does this and it becomes Ok to do it every holiday...
If you were that ill, your feelings should have been as clear as crystal regardless of what you were able to say. Anyway - not trying to run your hubby down, I just don't think that a couple of hours out of a family holiday is a big deal - no different from say a woman wanting to go shopping and the man wanting to sit in a bar for a couple of hours (or visa versa).
Dec 28th 2008, 11:30 am
#18
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
Re: Is this a big no no ?
Is the match not going to be televised? so you could watch it with a few beers?
If you were a season ticket holder and went to every other match I could see the arguement in coming back for the big game.
We had many of these issues over the christmas holidays with the All Blacks being in the northern hemisphere and us stuck in the bush with no TV and poor radio reception.
8 hours hiking before you get to the 4wd and another 3 hours from there too town.
If you were a season ticket holder and went to every other match I could see the arguement in coming back for the big game.
We had many of these issues over the christmas holidays with the All Blacks being in the northern hemisphere and us stuck in the bush with no TV and poor radio reception.
8 hours hiking before you get to the 4wd and another 3 hours from there too town.
I've already put Hevs idea to my wife, and she was dead chuffed. So I'd say Im going without a guilty conscience. I may even get a great welcome home... blimey !!!
As for the Burly comments... lol... I guess thats my fault for having a bit of a Macho members name.
22B's comments will have to be considered after the season is over
BTW the wife and my son normally come along to the game, so from that point of view she does have some empathy.
I doubt if I would have gone, in Fly aways scenario.
Thanks for the advice all.
Dec 28th 2008, 12:13 pm
#19
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Ferny Grove
Posts: 1,496
Re: Is this a big no no ?
My OH did this to me once.....
We went away for Christmas with his aged parents and our young daughter to a holiday cottage. Of course this meant loads of work for us and on Christmas Eve both myself and our daughter came down with the flu, (genuine flu not a bad cold.) I managed to get through Xmas day - just but was totally exhausted and told him that he couldn't leave me with a sick child and his demanding parents to go to the match on Boxing day as I was just too ill.
The next morning his Mother woke me to tell me that he had gone, small child was crying and I had to get up to cook them breakfast. I seriously couldn't get down the stairs, I was so ill. Had to sit on each step and bump down. Sat on a chair in the kitchen and floated between asleep and awake... managed to cook the elderly and the young food - God knows what it was like.... I didn't eat for 4 days and didn't even taste it. There was no phone signal in the cottage and I knew I was too ill to get in the car to drive somewhere with a signal so I was trapped there and couldn't phone him to get him to come back. (He knew this too!:curse
I didn't speak to him for 2-3 weeks after that and I have never forgiven him. He told me he didn't think I meant it when I said he couldn't go.
So take my advice, don't leave your wife to go to a football match you might not have a wife for much longer. If you really have to go, take your family to the city for the day and book a nice place for them to eat / do something while you are there.
We went away for Christmas with his aged parents and our young daughter to a holiday cottage. Of course this meant loads of work for us and on Christmas Eve both myself and our daughter came down with the flu, (genuine flu not a bad cold.) I managed to get through Xmas day - just but was totally exhausted and told him that he couldn't leave me with a sick child and his demanding parents to go to the match on Boxing day as I was just too ill.
The next morning his Mother woke me to tell me that he had gone, small child was crying and I had to get up to cook them breakfast. I seriously couldn't get down the stairs, I was so ill. Had to sit on each step and bump down. Sat on a chair in the kitchen and floated between asleep and awake... managed to cook the elderly and the young food - God knows what it was like.... I didn't eat for 4 days and didn't even taste it. There was no phone signal in the cottage and I knew I was too ill to get in the car to drive somewhere with a signal so I was trapped there and couldn't phone him to get him to come back. (He knew this too!:curse
I didn't speak to him for 2-3 weeks after that and I have never forgiven him. He told me he didn't think I meant it when I said he couldn't go.
So take my advice, don't leave your wife to go to a football match you might not have a wife for much longer. If you really have to go, take your family to the city for the day and book a nice place for them to eat / do something while you are there.
Other than that, you seriously need to divorce that MIL!!!!!!!
Dec 28th 2008, 12:45 pm
#20
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,821
Re: Is this a big no no ?
I put option 2...
However if I was seriously ill, I am sure that the OH would be pretty blind to it.. specially if he wanted to go and do something.. think it is their way of coping..
Of course, I wouldnt do the marytre thingy.. sometimes you have to be a bit big balled about it the situation and tell them rather plainly.. if, after that, they go.. then so be it.. but atleast they can't say that you didnt warn them!
In prev situations, my experience is that my OH has just gone ahead... but of course I then can complain bitterly... he doesnt mind.. he just puts up with it.. he'd rather that then miss out..
Hmmmm? is my OH a one off ??
Em x
However if I was seriously ill, I am sure that the OH would be pretty blind to it.. specially if he wanted to go and do something.. think it is their way of coping..
Of course, I wouldnt do the marytre thingy.. sometimes you have to be a bit big balled about it the situation and tell them rather plainly.. if, after that, they go.. then so be it.. but atleast they can't say that you didnt warn them!
In prev situations, my experience is that my OH has just gone ahead... but of course I then can complain bitterly... he doesnt mind.. he just puts up with it.. he'd rather that then miss out..
Hmmmm? is my OH a one off ??
Em x
Dec 28th 2008, 12:47 pm
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2007
Location: Back in Blighty
Posts: 1,942
Re: Is this a big no no ?
My OH did it to me too a few years ago. Was seriously not happy at the priority thing and it being bloody football again but I grudingly let him go.
To be honest I made a mountain out of a molehill (don't tell him I admitted to that!) and he did take our eldest with him in the end. Still think its a matter of priorities but if you gently negotiate and point out the benefits to her (equivilent time out to do her thing) then it shouldn't be such a big deal.
To be honest I made a mountain out of a molehill (don't tell him I admitted to that!) and he did take our eldest with him in the end. Still think its a matter of priorities but if you gently negotiate and point out the benefits to her (equivilent time out to do her thing) then it shouldn't be such a big deal.
Last edited by Safin; Dec 28th 2008 at 12:50 pm. Reason: Looks like you already negotiated successfully - missed the post - well done
Dec 28th 2008, 12:49 pm
#22
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2007
Location: Back in Blighty
Posts: 1,942
Re: Is this a big no no ?
What a one off in that he'd rather do it and then ignore your moaning than not do it? No way, he's at least a two off as mine is the same.
Dec 28th 2008, 1:02 pm
#23
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: Is this a big no no ?
I picked the first option. I take second place to my old man's work 50 weeks per year, so when we're on a family vacation he better make me and our children his #1 priority. If football or some other everyday activity is more important than our family, then he can take his sh*t and move to the stadium.
Dec 28th 2008, 8:20 pm
#24
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: On the edge of the Dandenongs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,387
Re: Is this a big no no ?
I spent half my honeymoon nights alone, whilst Adam watched the World Cup on TV in a bar in the Maldives -- we're still married 
Dec 28th 2008, 8:55 pm
#25
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Is this a big no no ?
Hell no, if your family cant come before a hobby then that's very sad IMHO. I guess I am sick and tired of coming second to a hobby, hence my POV - I would be highly disgruntled.
However, having said that, I do admire the fact that you recognized that it might even be an issue for your DW and family and you definitely get brownie points for that one. Also it is only a trip from Echuca to Melbourne and back so not that onerous or time consuming a trip. I guess I would be mollified by a day spa voucher or some such!
However, having said that, I do admire the fact that you recognized that it might even be an issue for your DW and family and you definitely get brownie points for that one. Also it is only a trip from Echuca to Melbourne and back so not that onerous or time consuming a trip. I guess I would be mollified by a day spa voucher or some such!
Dec 28th 2008, 9:06 pm
#26
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Sydney, NSW
Posts: 7,580
Re: Is this a big no no ?
Good grief Fly- I can't believe your OH did that and survived!!!
If my MIL had told me to get her breakfast when I was ill, she'd have been wearing it, and I'm not a violent person.(honest!) Or I'd have thrown up on her to prove how sick I was...luckily she is very nice and always wants to help out when she comes, and would have told my OH in no uncertain terms to stay home and look after his sick wife and kids.
Actually, he wouldn't have gone off in the first place.
If my MIL had told me to get her breakfast when I was ill, she'd have been wearing it, and I'm not a violent person.(honest!) Or I'd have thrown up on her to prove how sick I was...luckily she is very nice and always wants to help out when she comes, and would have told my OH in no uncertain terms to stay home and look after his sick wife and kids.
Actually, he wouldn't have gone off in the first place.
Dec 28th 2008, 10:12 pm
#27
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 435
Re: Is this a big no no ?
Absolutely come back for it - The boys will need all the help they can get to beat the Inbreds and retake the top of the table!
Oh Melbourne is...
So wonderful....
Oh Melbourne is...
So wonderful....
Dec 28th 2008, 10:49 pm
#28
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
Re: Is this a big no no ?
That was bloody inconsiderate of Adelaide, to get into the World Club Championships and stuff up the fixtures. Could be the game of the season that one. Whoever wins should win the title.
Last edited by ozzieeagle; Dec 28th 2008 at 10:52 pm.
Dec 28th 2008, 11:01 pm
#29
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 435
Re: Is this a big no no ?
but yes, thew winner of that will take the 'minor' premiership i think. Though the QLD game on friday is a biggie now they won last night...
Dec 28th 2008, 11:02 pm
#30
Auntie Fa
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle
Posts: 7,344
Re: Is this a big no no ?
I hope you've booked your wife that day of pampering, are putting some Veuve and chocolates in the fridge for the night you're away, have booked a top notch restaurant for the night you're back, and are giving her strict instructions to go on a budget-free shopping spree.