Best comeback line
Feb 9th 2006, 8:29 am
#16
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: Best comeback line
i like this one.
" you look as if you've put on weight, yip every time i shag your wife she bakes me a cake"
" you look as if you've put on weight, yip every time i shag your wife she bakes me a cake"
Feb 10th 2006, 4:56 am
#17
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 21
Re: Best comeback line
het girl hows sydney? louise uk
Feb 10th 2006, 6:41 am
#18
Sunny Sydney
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: Best comeback line
There was a good comeback line on Chris Moyles show on Radio 1 yesterday. during a quiz, he had two contestants, a girl from Newcastle and a guy. The guy was giving the girl heaps of "slapper" type comments and eventually said "oh yeah, and you're crap in bed too"
Her reply was instant - "Well your Dad doesn't think so"
Priceless, and all in the timing. Wish I was that quick.
Her reply was instant - "Well your Dad doesn't think so"
Priceless, and all in the timing. Wish I was that quick.
Feb 10th 2006, 12:50 pm
#19
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2004
Location: Ples bilong mi
Posts: 523
Re: Best comeback line
Originally Posted by herrchook
There was a good comeback line on Chris Moyles show on Radio 1 yesterday. during a quiz, he had two contestants, a girl from Newcastle and a guy. The guy was giving the girl heaps of "slapper" type comments and eventually said "oh yeah, and you're crap in bed too"
Her reply was instant - "Well your Dad doesn't think so"
Priceless, and all in the timing. Wish I was that quick.
Her reply was instant - "Well your Dad doesn't think so"
Priceless, and all in the timing. Wish I was that quick.
So I said "perhaps if you walked naked down Swanston Street, you could achieve both simultaneously".
To say that there was the obligatory minute's silence followed by sounds of people choking and spluttering on their drinks whilst they tried to stifle the laughter would be fairly close to the mark.
The aforementioned dimwit markedly reduced her volume and output. The dinner conversation really picked up after that.
Feb 10th 2006, 1:16 pm
#20
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: In de bush
Posts: 756
Re: Best comeback line
Originally Posted by fraser
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns
and children.
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD:
Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
......The radio went silent and the interview ended.
and children.
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD:
Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
......The radio went silent and the interview ended.
Try this...
One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance; drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.
Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think
Feb 10th 2006, 1:56 pm
#21
Banned
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Northside
Posts: 2,138
Re: Best comeback line
Along the same lines - Guy we used to know in the UK was at an Army 'do' at which they had the obligatory stripper. She's up on stage doing her thing when she starts the 'Sticky Vicky' (of Benidorm fame) impersonation. She she's up there, pulling out handlerchiefs, flowers and god knows what else. Eventually this huge Colour Sarge shouts up from the back in his broad Yorkshire accent "That's all well and good pet - but can you iron?" To say she was stopped in her tracks is apparently an understatement. Poor girl had to go off to compose herself after a fit of giggles meant she couldn't continue.
Feb 10th 2006, 6:45 pm
#22
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,027
Re: Best comeback line
man to girl in bar - "do you want another drink"
her response - "no thanks, I have had enough"
him - "how do you know when's enough?"
she - "when you start getting goodlooking!"
her response - "no thanks, I have had enough"
him - "how do you know when's enough?"
she - "when you start getting goodlooking!"
Feb 10th 2006, 7:50 pm
#23
Sunny Sydney
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: Best comeback line
Originally Posted by andicee
Bloody hell Fraser...still got a sense of himour what with all your house trouble
Try this...
One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance; drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.
Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think
Try this...
One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance; drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies.
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.
"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.
Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think
Feb 11th 2006, 10:18 pm
#24
A former regular of BE
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Carramar, Perth
Posts: 6,241
Re: Best comeback line
Glenn McGrath asked Zimbabwe cricketer Edo Brandes why he was so fat - his instant response was that every time he *****ed Glenn's wife she gave him a biscuit.
Feb 15th 2006, 3:33 am
#25
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 21
Re: Best comeback line
Originally Posted by herrchook
