Crystaltipps

This is a bit of an appeal I guess, for long-timers to go a bit easy on greener members of this online 'community'.

I've had some brilliantly helpful, constructive replies to posts and some that border on unprovoked snideness.

Having been away from BE for a few years, I'm remembering how cut-throat it can be and have known others disappear, never to be seen again for that reason.

Behind the safety of a computer screen it's so easy to be vitriolic and address people in a way you would never do in real life.

I may be being a sensitive snowflake but how about we all think before we hit 'submit'.

Come on then BE, do your worst...

mikelincs

Why should you be 'taken down' it's a valid point, and for those who do want to argue the toss we have 'The Lounge' and 'Take it Outside' in the general section, but if someone is asking a valid question then replies should be pertinent but not done in a way that people could be upset by, there are ways to phrase replies that disagree with a particular point of view but are not done in any way that could be classed as 'nasty'.

moneypenny20

There is also the point that people may appear 'nasty' to the person asking the question but quite often they're just giving an opinion/answer that is not what the OP wants to hear. Also the written word is sometimes hard to convey feeling. One person's 'nasty' is another person light humour.

Too many people ask a question and only expect one type of reply. When they get a different response they can get rude or disappear never to return and no one knows why or where they've gone.

Yes people can be abrupt and sometimes rude but 9 times out of 10 people are trying to be as helpful and informative as they can be because they want to continuing paying back for the helpful informative advice they got themselves.

Also sometimes we get the situation whereby the OP asks a question but doesn't give all the details required to give an informative, factual response, when asked for more info, the OP then gets bolshy and either says it's irrelevant info or private. The negativity can work both ways.

This is a public forum, we get all sorts posting, most are kind and helpful, some are bored and got nothing else to do and others are just in a bad mood and take it out on the board. You have to learn to weed out the stuff you don't need whilst retaining the stuff you do. This bit is hard

Depending on where the question is asked also determines the response. In the Immigration forum all threads have to stay on topic with relevant information. In Aus and The Barbie things tend to go off topic to differing degrees.

Finally If anyone considers a reply rude/abusive/unnecessary the 'report' button is there to be used. The mods/SM/Admin cannot see every thread and every post. If we don't know, we can't deal with the problem. There's nothing wrong with reporting posts, it doesn't make you a dobber, it makes you a member of a forum assisting the mods in keeping the forum a great place to be.

Dear god I go on sometimes...

xizzles

In the wise, immortal words of Rodney King, as he was being kicked in the teeth by the LAPD, "Can't we all just get along"?

scrubbedexpat098

I like being kind to people, gives me a buzz if I'm honest. If I tell anyone it's only ever my wife, no need to tell the world though, I have a reputation to consider .

spouse of scouse

Oh shut up you tart! Love from bitch-face

Gordon Barlow

BE - like any chat-forum - has members who in real life many of us wouldn't bother with. At a real-life party, we'd just walk away and find someone more pleasant to talk to. Thanks to the availability of BE's Ignore List, it's easy enough to avoid most of the nasties.

scrubbedexpat142

Of course, "don't you dare express your opposition to my views" - a policy that accords well with many famous dictators through history!

scrubbedexpat098

I love this post, this is awesome

Amazulu

But like my mom used to say - to ignore is ignorant

If you can't debate and discuss with people that disagree with you then the problem is with you not them

scrubbedexpat098

kin hell, another one I like. To talk with people we disagree with is to grow as a person. To surround ones self with like minded people is exactly what Trump was blasted for on his hundredth day in office, oh the irony

Gordon Barlow

Crystal, this is probably the kind of thing that prompted your original post.

xizzles

We can all agree to disagree. It's an often mistaken notion that one has to be rude or brusque to possess a differing point of view. To disagree should not equate to being disagreeable.

scrubbedexpat098

Bollocks

Amazulu

Spot on