HI all.

Firstly, sorry mods, wasn't sure where to put this post.

I was searching through some old emails today and I came across this one I had written in 2002 to my german mate! Entitled: Tania's and Toby's first impressions of England.. Toby was my partner at the time. We had been in Brixton for a few days...fresh off the plane from Oz. We ended up staying and working a year, then back home to Oz. Just for a laugh, I thought I'd post it here.

There are some pros, some cons re my impressions, but please DO NOT take offence to the cons ok! It was posted in the spirit of good fun, not to create a stir!

Ok, so here it is, naked unedited:

Detailed Report of First Impressions of England by Tania and Toby.T
for Matthias B. (bloody German)

30. August 2002



Weather: not too cold actually! Some sun even, but we are the only ones wearing shorts.

Accent: funny, they don’t understand my name, but they understand ‘Taaarrrnya’. Now I I understand the local language a bit better eg. doing the hoovering is actually vacuuming, and eating cherios in the morning does not mean cooking little red sausages!

Food: tinned food is better, haven’t had too much food yet. Food at the market looks good, instant coffee better.

People: seem friendly, but some very rude! Contradictions.

Countryside: this suburb, Brixton, is totally insane. It is MAD! You get asked if you want 'skunk weed' a million times as you walk down our street. The countryside outside seems pretty. Nice parklands.

Flat: nice, cool gardens on top. Even cool cats i can talk to!

Airport: totally huge, so many people. Planes fly over our flat – you see at least 5 in the sky at the same time!

Oxygen: Not much of it here, is there? I can't believe their advertising slogan to visit the Caribean is

" Hey - 10 % more oxygen!" (!!!) this is totally foreign to us Aussies. Pollution here is absolutely revolting. It is discusting! We bought our own water from the shop, as we are not drinking the tap water from the Thames, in which all life died 200 years ago, I was reading!!

Social work social policy so far: Totally backwards!!! But job agencies are great.

The rest of Europe: seems enticing, seems like a haven . Would like to go when we have been working for a while.

Jetlag status : bad! we happily get up at 3.00 am to start the day! Pretty funny hey?!

There you go Matthias! Hope you liked it! We look forward to seeing you. tell us, is all of England polluted like London?

See ya alligator!

Love Tania and Toby.

Brilliant, and so true.

Still, you brought it on yourselves... I mean, Brixton! Good grief!

Made me think I should look through my emails too - funny how we forget. I feel like I have always wanted to leave the UK, will probably find out I loved it for the first while!

it makes me laugh to think that someone's first impression of the U.K would be Brixton.
My first impression of Australia was kings cross in Sydney
I remember thinking how friendly the Aussies were - The transvestite prozzie stood outside our hostel always smiled and and hello to my OH

Brixton? OMG - you were keen.

My first experience of the UK was Brentford, West London.

I thought I'd stepped into a Dickens novel.

enjoyed that Vegemite , a good read & very mad ...

We lived in Chiswick for years and used to drive thru Brentford regularly to the large pet store. Whenever we my teenage stepson was the car my OH would tell him to breathe in and not look out the window or he would make someone pregnant

Knowing Chiswick as I do, that's horrifyingly plausible.

As mentioned earlier Vegemite - your post got me thinking about stuff I thought about when I first came.

Low and behold I find the below emails:
Hullo hullo hullo- what 'ave we 'ere then... Chanelle in london,
>just finished her first shift at the Cittie ofYorke, weather here is
>a nice 12-22 degrees, just perfect for reading the free NZ
>Newspaper in the sun next to Buckingham Palace...Arhh the hardship
>of it all.
>
>Well,at the moment for another few days, I am staying about 20
>minutes walk from the pub, they are currently renovating our
>quarters and they are looking fantastic I must say. new florrs,
>kitchen, bathrrom, beds, linen,settee. TV/video with cable. The
>Television sucks. What do the poms do for entertainment???
>
>Yesterday took a walk around central london. I was surpirsed at how
>close everything actually is. I walked from the flat, to the
>British Museum, trafaglar Sq, past westminster abbey and the houses
>of parliament, big ben, then Buckingham palace, st james park to the
>Thames River and the big ferris wheel and then home via convent
>gardens market...
>
>I am really centrally located which is great. The pub is cool, two
>stories, with a cellar bar. Everyone that works there is a bloody Aussie apart from the manager, damn it. Why did I leave Australia, if it wasnt to escape the Australians (no offense). Seem like a good bunch.
>
>Anyway, I love London, cant wait to get paid to really get to know
>it.

Ha - may me laugh anyhoo - shame I didn't write an email a few months later once I got out to Uxbridge and surrounds!

So I thought the telly sucked - interesting as alot of people post the same about Australia - guess it's just about what you are used too.

Sorry if that sounded snobby-it wasn't meant too! Just OH's sense of humour and he is certainly not a typical "Chiswickian" originally hailing from coal mining Doncaster

Those tower blocks and motorway flyovers can do that for new arrivals. Very victorian

It didn't sound snobby, it sounded plausibly realistic.

Hey peoples. Thanks for reading my first impressions. I enjoyed reading all your responses.

Anyway, yes, er...BRIXTON... , let me explain!

Silly me trusted my daggy Australian friend who wanted to move to this so called trendy suburb..(Brixton) and dragged her other innocent Aussie friends with her...SO there we were...fresh off the plane..knowing no-body but them...OH MY GOD...my partner was a little irriatated once he realised what a sh*t hole we'd been dragged to..and I just tried to focus on the novelty of new and interesting experiences at the Brixton Markets....ferrets, huge wobbling Afro bums, skunk weed pick up lines, and a trip on a bus that got held up!!

My resolve was broken we we had an argument with our friends. I bidded the bustling market scene goodbye and headed for a new job and cozy little flat in a village in East Sussex..............THAT FELT SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!

Then it was onto Brighton Marina....was rather cool living down there too.

Well....just had to explain that one so you can stop assuming I'm a pyschopath with poor taste. hee hee

LOVE VEG
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