Back for funeral or not?
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: UK 2 Oz, Oz 2 UK, Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt!
Posts: 773
Back for funeral or not?
I would like to go back for the funeral of my nan who died at the weekend. I know my dad needs me now and I need to be surrounded by my huge and supportive family.
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2012
Location: Toowoomba, Qld
Posts: 37
Re: Back for funeral or not?
I would like to go back for the funeral of my nan who died at the weekend. I know my dad needs me now and I need to be surrounded by my huge and supportive family.
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
All the best.
#3
Re: Back for funeral or not?
I would like to go back for the funeral of my nan who died at the weekend. I know my dad needs me now and I need to be surrounded by my huge and supportive family.
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
My gran said that she wouldn't want me rushing back for her funeral - so I guess I followed her wishes. However, ideally it would have been a benefit to my family to support them.
If my mum or sister or God forbid ( my children) died - then it would be a different kettle of fish.
#5
Re: Back for funeral or not?
I would like to go back for the funeral of my nan who died at the weekend. I know my dad needs me now and I need to be surrounded by my huge and supportive family.
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
Its only money. Some things are more important
#6
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,253
Re: Back for funeral or not?
I agree with this. You could have $5,000, $10,000 or $20,000 in the bank and blow it all, but you can always save it back one day. You only get one chance to say goodbye to family at their funeral.
But at the end of the day it is what works best for you and your family.
But at the end of the day it is what works best for you and your family.
#7
Re: Back for funeral or not?
Only you can work this one out. Your husband says go, you can get time off work, I guess you can afford it, then you go. It's not for anyone other than you and your dad and that's all that counts. You'll never regret going but you may well regret not going.
#9
Re: Back for funeral or not?
I would like to go back for the funeral of my nan who died at the weekend. I know my dad needs me now and I need to be surrounded by my huge and supportive family.
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
However, I realise the expense to my family if I do. I can only take about a week off work. My husband has been supportive and thinks that I should return.
Do I go back or say my goodbyes from here? My heart is telling me one thing and my head another
#10
Re: Back for funeral or not?
I am so sorry for your loss, and being on the other side of the world is never easy and straightforward. As one who has missed a load of family funerals, including my nanna's, in the past (actually never returned for a funeral at all) - go for the living not the dead. So if you have surviving rellies who absolutely need the support and you can afford the time and money then go but you dont HAVE to go, they know you are grieving just as much as they are.
I would have gone back for a parent's funeral even though they have said not to bother, but I didnt even give a thought to my grandmother's funeral even had I not been about to give birth to my second son within days of her death.
I would have gone back for a parent's funeral even though they have said not to bother, but I didnt even give a thought to my grandmother's funeral even had I not been about to give birth to my second son within days of her death.
#13
Re: Back for funeral or not?
When faced with decisions that seem tricky, like this one is for you, I ask myself what will be more important a year from now.
So a year from now, will you be saying, "I wish I had not spent that money on that flight" or would you be saying "I wish I had been there".
I suspect it would be the latter.
So a year from now, will you be saying, "I wish I had not spent that money on that flight" or would you be saying "I wish I had been there".
I suspect it would be the latter.
#14
Re: Back for funeral or not?
Only you know what is right for you. I am not one to go back for funerals so personally I wouldn't but everyone if different
#15
Re: Back for funeral or not?
Sorry to hear of your nan's passing.
If you want to go, and your dad needs you- and you have the support of your OH- then go.
Yes, it is expensive, but as others have said, you can find ways to make up the money you spend. It isn't being selfish, it is being supportive and human.
If you want to go, and your dad needs you- and you have the support of your OH- then go.
Yes, it is expensive, but as others have said, you can find ways to make up the money you spend. It isn't being selfish, it is being supportive and human.