Anyone else tell their other half to shove it during an argument? He wants to go, I do too but maybe have more doubts. Hubby gets ideas but doesn't think them through. I've asked for a full cost analysis between UK and Australia but not got one, just half-arsed effort. If I ask him to do more research, I get told I just don't want to go. No, it's because I don't want to move 20000 miles to a total mistake. I'm doing lots of research too but trying to get him to do the cost comparison so he can see what I already know, that it will be hard. Tonight had a big row, in front of the kids, unfortunately. He said he's going on his own. My eldest (age 8) said she didn't want to go. I want to go if it's for the best but don't want this stress. Don't even know why I'm saying this. Just fed up I guess.

It's gotta be tough if he's super sure and you're more iffy - it's a big deal not to be on the same page about - don't worry though it's only 12k miles or thereabouts - problem solved

But seriously, if I were you do the full cost comparison yourself and just show him the final result - I know exactly what you're feeling - my OH refuses to do anything until the last possible minute - forward thinking is not his forte - he didn't even get excited about the birth of our son until he was literally squeezing his way out - so it's all down to us organised women!

Good luck getting him onto the same page

What information do you think a full cost analysis between UK and Australia will show? It will certainly cost you a lot in expenses to move but you cannot price things like lifestyle.

If the figure for your salary in Australia is around 2.2 to 2.5 times the figure in the UK and you don't move from a village to the middle of Sydney then you should have a similar lifestyle. ie if used to 30,000 squid you need around $70,000. The main issue is house prices and the pound losing so much purchasing value. Renting is a lot more viable at the moment imo. If you really would want to buy fairly soon possibly consider regional areas...depending on budget of course.

It is good to do some research as obviously some like it, some ambivalent and some don't like it. Imo a lot can depend on how well you match up your interests/lifestyle with the location you choose. Some love urban life but move into a big fancy new build in the outer suburbs with very little street activation and few cafe's/art galleries/pubs in sight. Others are used to the quiet life but end up in gritty urban areas. etc etc To generalise some like talking footy and end up with people more interested in politics/religion, others want to talk politics/religion and end up with people who love their footy.

Many say emigrating is very hard work and tough on a relationship so it would be good to agree. Oddly enough though there have been a few posts where the partner who didn't really want to come loved it and the one pushing hated it

It will really depend on where you are moving from to where you are moving to, and what line of work you are in. ie coming from a regional town outside of the South East of England and moving to say Sydney,Perth,Melbourne,Brisbane and working an average job is going to be expensive.

Trouble is i would hazard that 80% of Brits would be aiming for one of those cities. Still doesn't mean it cannot work out, just don't expect streets paved with gold.

Why not come and have a look first, it still amazes me that people migrate from a country such as the UK to the other side of the world without even seeing the place first.

Forget cost comparison, you are not going to get it right anyway. You will forget about so many things, prices change and you just don't know how much say dental treatment the family might need.

When it comes to finance, I would be thinking about general financial well-being. How well off are you likely to feel? How much will that unexpected expense hurt you?

I agree with fish, the best way to do this is to look into salaries you are likely to achieve and if it is 2.2 to 2.5 times UK £ salary then you will feel about the same financially. The only single expense I would maybe factor in is comparing rent here to rent / mortgage in UK, the rest is swings and roundabouts and can change anyway. So please don't fall out over an undone cost comparison.

Why is he so determined to come? And why are you uncertain? It sounds to me like this is all about money. There's a whole lot more about Australia that will affect your quality of life than the simple dollar. If your husband is a Peter Pan and this is just an adventure, good luck. You'll probably need it.

We moved for an adventure, nothing wrong with that.

So did we.

Unfortunately, it seems from what the OP says, this adventure involves those who would rather not participate.

I think that's cruel.

There are some very helpful posts here and some less helpful. Amazes me how some people can make judgements based on a few sentences. Dorothy - thought I was on your ignore list?

Money? This is about money in the sense that as the Mother of 3 young children, I need to know I will be able to afford my rent and feed my kids. My husband isn't a big earner but the job offer is about 2.5 salary here so at least multiples coming in ok. We live here in a small town in Scotland but I am from Brighton, so a bit more cosmopolitan. Hubby is Australian so that's answers a lot of things. Plus I have been there 4 times, so don't feel need to visit again. I think we will do it, it was just a bad day and don't think any couple will make that decision and not have wobbles at all. It is mainly having the responsibility for determining the future of my children that is eating me up.

You might also want to see if you can cover "what happens if I dont like it and want to go home?". Once in Australia a child would not be allowed to leave if one parent said no, they cant go. Read up on the Hague Convention before you make your decision.

I would ask more "how do you feel" rather than even "how do you feel about the money?" How will you cope with your family being on the other side of the world and his being closer (hopefully not too close, that can be quite difficult and resentment can surface quite quickly especially when his folks have it all and yours have nothing)? How will you manage when he has friends and connections with a place and you are having to start all over again as a foreigner? How will you cope with the changes that you may see in him when he stops being a foreigner and starts being an Aussie bloke?

Money wise, the average Aus salary is around $70k these days but most families seem to need to be double income just to make ends meet - of course the cost of living is going to be dependent upon where you live and unless you have a lot in the bank for emergencies, holidays etc then you are going to be somewhat hand to mouth on an "average" salary.

Good luck with your decision.

Dorothy can see my post not yours

There is certainly a lot of comments about what is and what isn't a welcome responses these days, have you tried the report button if you think a response is inappropriate? Or if there is nothing wrong with a response other than you don't like it, try sucking it up.

If you're reluctant now and your relationship is on shaky ground and he is Australian.... STAY PUT!
I mean it! Quoll has mentioned the tyranny of being stuck in Australia because the courts says the kids can't move

So you could, quite conceivably end up here, divorced and a single parent with no family support.. living on the breadline....

The other problem with sunshine... the hairline cracks in a relationship are dried by the endless blue skies, and sunny days, and they open up into giant Chasms with no way of crossing, and no amount of polyfilla is going to fix it.

It cost my cousin $100,000 and counting to get out of Australia with her baby and that was on a 457 visa! They're still fighting over a property settlement..
tThey were only together for 16 months.......

I don't mean to scare you, but you need think very carefully about the situation you are going to put yourself in...... If you go, do so with open eyes.

Good Luck.

Are you all looking to make money with your move or to have a better life style? Stop and think about it. If it's to buy a bigger house and get a pool, you won't get a lot for your pound.

If you want to come to Australia for a more laid back life style and secure a better standard of living for you and the kids then that may be a good reason. We migrated here 4 years ago with red tinted glasses of having wads of cash, boats and pools. When it came to it the GFC hit and all our cash wasn't worth half what it was before we left.

But, and this was a big BUT for us. The money wasn't the important thing for us at all. We came from the outskirts of London and had always worked there. The reduction in crime and vandelism reduced by about 100 fold for us. The schools now have no fences around them let alone have gates. I am at home with the family far more than I could have ever imagined in the UK.

I earn a base of around 75K and the wife earns about 20k in a part time job. I do get a company vehicle which makes things a bit easier and we don't want for much. We still have holidays each year and I can certainly afford a couple of coffees a day. We have the equivalent of sky, mobile phones, a second car,gym membership, large mortgage and all the usual things in a life.

All I'm saying is think about what you want from life. This may be the clean slate and healthy lifestyle you all need.