We came over here from NZ me being a Brit, liked it but nothing to do, and me and the missus, both had our twenties to ourself, doing the usual things clubbing, buying the things now you only dream of.
Had 2 kids in our 30's neither of us really saving up for a rainy day, realizing that kids are expensive toys find that all we really want is a house to call home and a couple of grand in the bank for an emergency ie if a relative in England was sick you could fly back.
All we seem to be doing is working week to week things go up, petrol, rent but wages do not. The dream of a house seems further and further away, it would be lovely to hand over the kids to granny for the night, and not being afraid to have an extra beer or 2, cause they will be awake at 5-30 am on a Saturday morning. Not having that relative support is so important, mum is over this weekend for a few weeks, so gonna take advantage while she is here.
I am not moaning i have 2 great kids, a steady job, there is enough for food in the bellies, and an extra beer, but unlike a lot of Brits we didn't sell that house and come over and have the 5 bed roomed house, with a pool boat and 4x4. we basically had enough to get started and have been fighting for 4 years.
I do like it here, but just wonder would we be better back in the UK, Where the family is there.
Any Advice Helpful

Does your wife work?

You said you like it there,so if I were you,I would probably stay for the time being.Yes life can be put on hold while your kids are young,you are restricted to a certain degree.It sounds like you want to move back to the UK for family support,I can understand that totally, but are you still going to be happy in the UK when your kids are grown up and independant?Its good your Mum is heading over,perhaps have a chat with her about your feelings ect.Good luck and I hope things settle down for you soon either way.

yeah she does from home, anymore and you get penalized by the government, so the more you earn the more you lose

Do you mean that by earning more you pay more tax, or just receive less in welfare benefits ?

How exactly does the government 'penalize' you for being industrious ?

The 5 bedroomed house, pool, boat and 4x4 isn't what most people have I wouldn't imagine and if they do then they are either older than you, have a big mortgage and maybe loans etc or as you say, sold up from wherever and had a bigger deposit, but could still be working hard to pay for it all.

If you took out the family element would it be different back in the UK, would you be able to afford the 4 bed detached, 2 x cars and a holiday abroad each year?

I know in my 30's with 2 children we had a similar life to you. We both worked, didn't struggle but wanted more, i.e the bigger house/car etc. Paying for childcare and children in general does that to you unfortunately, we lived day to day. It's only now that the children are older, (one is no longer dependant) that we can afford more, still not the 5 bed, pool, boat and 4x4! but It does become more affordable as they get older.

It seems to me that money and family ties are the issue here, not enough to do what you want and buy what you want including the odd night ways from the kids that everyone needs, there's nothing wrong with feeling like that but I do think at your stage in life that is just well, life! Getting a promotion or changing jobs may help, not easy I know but something to look at maybe?

Would your wife want to move to the UK, I'm assuming she is not British? Have you been back, could you afford to go back to see what it's like there now?

I'm not sure moving anywhere will help with how you're feeling but good luck with whatever you decide.

You need to get on the property ladder. Is there anything you could sell or could you borrow the money for a deposit?

We are living in NZ, moved here 5 years ago from the UK, we too are in our 30's with two kids.

We are lucky enough to own our house with a small mortgage, we are lookingto move to ozzie soon new zealand bores the T**ts off both of us, we recently returned from a hol on the GC and want to move now, sadly the house i would like is 2million above our bracket.

Moral of the story:

If you are going to plant your self at the arse end of the globe, make sure its a warm country, you can be poor and warm and go to a nice beach with a warmish sea

poor and cold not a winning combo

you will always have to work and do the shopping unless you win the lotto

i could go on, its summer here and raining, foggy and cold,i think i have that SAD syndrome

small steps people, small stepps.

webrought our 3 kids to sydney nearly 6 years ago. we sold our house in scotland and went mad for two years here. then we started planning and knew we would never have a house in the areas of sydney that we liked. so we headed to the gold coast, rented for a couple of years then decided that we were sick of paying somone else.
we now have our own wee place and have for the last 2 years. but it took us around 4 years to get it.
small steps along the way