Bernieboy

Ah i like it when you speak the saffer lingo.

Amazulu

uh uh

isgraham

So did I.

lesleys

Several generations of part of my family came from Salford. And my dad used to be the City Engineer.

ozzieeagle

Ahh so now we know who to blame

lesleys

And would you believe that my granny used to work for Salford Police?

SorryTE, just passing time till your next episode.

Turban Explorer

13 days in London and 1 travelling to the Shetlands .....

Huge identifiable accent difference in just a short journey. I'm now with the friendly singsongy Scottish

Shopping seems like a bring and buy sale - big piles of stuff with Bogof deals meaning you end up with double the amount you need

Bright orange fake tan girls are relatively common

Condiments are present on tables - ketchup, colmans, daddy's and sarsons

Cold toilet seats are oddly arousing

The Dyson trouser press hand dryers turn your hands into shapeshifters

Big gangs of 30s blokes drinking pints at airports on their way to stag parties in Scandinavia

Flights from Aberdeen now include places like Azerbaijan

You can buy a big selection of sandwiches without having to peel out a mechanically recovered slice of 'ham' to chuck away

Day time tv can be viewed without an interview or photo scene with Miranda Kerr - Australian model and a la mode femme after Cate Blanchett disgraced herself by believing in climate change

A strange realisation came over me earlier that I hadn't heard Roxette or Bon Jovi for a couple of weeks

Betting screens are once again the domain of seedy losers in Bookies rather than pubs

Cold air / hot bath is a great combination

Bumble bees

Single figure weather forecasts look like typos

Grass is nice, lush and carpety - you can walk over it without fear of cane toads and snakes

Food can be left out of the refridgerater and put into cupboards

Engelbert Humperdink is doing the Uk Eurovision entry

Things are unregulated - it takes a few days to shirk off Aussie regulation - that you're doing something naughty re: jay walking, where you can drink, where you can smoke. Buying alcohol at supermarkets and corner shops feels delightfully decadent

Stiff nipples - for the first time in a year

Most 35+ women are derma-filled and botoxed. On television everyone looks slim and younger

There are lots of new varieties of chocolate. The minstrels without cases that seemed such a lucky dip coup when eating a bag of Revels are now available in a bag of their own. They're no longer as yummy in the Revels however.

The return of the good sturdy stiff upper lip British plug (with pins that don't bend and stay in the wall).

Chairs and tables are made of wood and cushioning - not plastic and chrome. They don't scrape when people stand up or wobble relentlessly

Brits landing at airports after holidays will wear virtually nothing as long as is humanly possible.

I feel re-sexualised. I thought I'd lost my mojo but with a cornucopia of clean shaven men in suits able to hold a conversation it's back (looking only of course)

I still don't understand the weather forecasts with the big moving ellipses

Sunbed sessions are advertised

There is a baffling amount of cold remedies for sale

Worms - little pieces of pink dead worms on pavements

Emergency 'improvement' works have taken the place of emergency 'repair' works on London transport

Everywhere seems to have a loyalty card. Chemists, supermarkets, pubs, coffee shops, book shops etc

High percentage of ethnic minorities on tv - news readers, weather forecasters and programme presenters. Is this the same as Oz - not having bothered with a tv ariel I don't know.

One glimmer of sunshine and the pub gardens are rammed with people - dusted off raybans sitting outside in the cold

Leaves on plants are small

There's a big media focus on Kate Middleton - having not heard her speak before
I can report she sounds haughty with clipped vowels.

There are virtually no public toilets in London (for fear of terrorism/cottaging)

Accordingly every corner of every subway smells strongly of wee

Homeless people engage my sympathy again now I am resensitised/have time to think

People openly conserve energy - cycling schemes, tiny eco cars, fair trade everything, carbon neutral products

The Thames is a rancid cess pool of brown water and rubbish

Eavesdropping on conversations there is a real spectrum of articulation - bordering on virtually unintelligible street speak to amazingly erudite conversation.

I still want to kill 'living statues'

commonwealth

how much a kilo of bananers?

DC10

Great double entendre there

moneypenny20

Those hand dryers are fab. Bumble bees in March?

Turban Explorer

Yes. Not in the Shetlands but plenty in London. Too early?

moneypenny20

I just have visions of summer days and buzzing but I've no idea really.

commonwealth

just quite right

Pollyana

I must try and remember to do a similar list next week

eddie007

Awww... Doubly home sick now....

You couldnt bring one of them stiff british upper lip plugs back for me could you? Mine appears to have gone and me bottom lip keeps wobbling....