Home Sick

Old Jan 12th 2011, 1:10 pm
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Ok, I know this is different for everyone but........... I have been visiting Barbados since 2004 when I met my now husband. I moved over in July 2009 (did a 6 month stay in 2007). I have been living here now for 18 months, but I find it very lonely here and I miss England. Did everyone else find this, or after 18 months had you all managed to call Barbados home. I keep referring to UK as home still. My husband is local and doesnt want to move to uk. I was hoping that now that I am working that things would be better.
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Old Jan 12th 2011, 2:11 pm
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Default Re: Home Sick

Hi Vikki,

I used to live in Barbados in my early 20s and it took me a while to adopt to the people and the culture. One of the biggest things I missed about the UK was not having close friends and family nearby to have that British banter with. However, I did meet some really lovely friends who I found very down to earth although it still was not the same as having your friends that you had grown up with but that was one aspect of living in Barbados that really made me miss home and yes I did feel lonely. It was a nice to return to the UK to be able to have real chats with mates and family.

After the novelty of living in a place with what Barbados has to offer had worn off I found I hardly went to the beach as much and just worked and did what I would normally do in the UK. It really is an individual thing and it is about what you want.

Moving to another country away from your network of family and friends can make you feel isolated. It is almost like starting again. Maybe you should think about what has made you feel this way and maybe there is something within Barbados itself that can help you to come to some sort of solution ie. hobbies, etc.

I hope it all works itself out.
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Old Jan 12th 2011, 4:49 pm
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Default Re: Home Sick

When I first moved here, my husbands family only gave me 6mths to survive living in Barbados. He gave me 1 year... 18 years later, I'm still here. I poured much of my homesickness into my work and other things. I made sure on my days off that I "went into town", just to even be among people. I drove around the island and I got involved in a womens group (the majority of the ladies are at least 20 plus years older than me, so I wasn't really in it for friends, more for something to do). When my kids came along, I got involved and still am, involved in their lives both in and out of schools.. joined playgroups etc.. just as much for them as for me. For years we have made sure that we go to the beach if not both Saturday and Sunday, at least 1 of those days (we used to calling it "The Rut we were stuck in.. but it could have been a worse Rut).

After 18 years, I can say I know tons of people (likely because of the work I have done while here) but I would say I only have a very small handful of close friends and much of those are family.

it isn't easy still and there are days when I'd just like to board a plane, but.. for me, this is home and the chances of moving back to my other home are slim to none at this point

It does get better over time.. but home will always be home..
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Old Jan 12th 2011, 5:56 pm
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There ya go Vicki - time to become a mummy lol

I remember when you were planning your wedding and relocation is that 18 months already??

I must admit i only did a year before I travelled then ended up coming b ack and forth regularly and my ideal is to do a sometime in Bim and the rest in UK

I paid the price of paying taxes in both countries for the pleasure but was worth it
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Old Jan 12th 2011, 6:13 pm
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Default Re: Home Sick

Originally Posted by vikki85 View Post
Ok, I know this is different for everyone but........... I have been visiting Barbados since 2004 when I met my now husband. I moved over in July 2009 (did a 6 month stay in 2007). I have been living here now for 18 months, but I find it very lonely here and I miss England. Did everyone else find this, or after 18 months had you all managed to call Barbados home. I keep referring to UK as home still. My husband is local and doesnt want to move to uk. I was hoping that now that I am working that things would be better.
I read somewhere that it takes on average 4 years for someone to really settle into island living, so you still have a bit of a way to go. Get hooked up on skype and facebook and chat away with your UK friends and family until your hearts content. Also encourage them to visit as much as possible to help you settle in. try and make at least one visit a year to UK so you have something to look forward to and the absense does not seem so definate.
Hope this helps, even in a little way.
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Old Jan 12th 2011, 9:49 pm
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Thanks guys. I actually got internet at home on Monday and set myself up with Skype today. Just finished a phone call with my best friend back in uk. I find a lot of local people (my husbands family included) have issues with me being white and I find it hard to make local girl friends. I dont have a car so I am limited to the buses, but as Sunnie said, I do try to get out on my days off. I will go to Supercentre in Holetown instead of Jordans in Sp'town as it is that little bit further away from home so gets me out for a bit longer. I am sure things will get better thou.

Oh well, only 4 months until my next visit back to the UK............
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Old Jan 13th 2011, 1:43 am
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Default Re: Home Sick

vikki, the first people you have to make friends with are you husbands family.. (not saying that you haven't but...) and then move from there. Does your hubby have sisters, or female cousins?? What about your job?? Women you work with.. get together in the evening (may be difficult based on where you are) or on your off days. find a book club, or start one. There is a new Cloister bookstore in the little mall in Speightstown, maybe you put up a notice there and see if there would be anyone interested in starting a book club in the area. or maybe if you have a particular other hobby, you could, again, put up signs or ask around the area if anyone else might have the same interest and start a group like that. (just a thought)

Use skype and the computer but don't get to the point of it being soo all consuming but do use it to stay in touch with the rest of the world..
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Old Jan 13th 2011, 10:57 am
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Default Re: Home Sick

Don't let their issues with you make your life a misery. Life is what you make it so hold your head high, think positive and enjoy the experience.
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Old Jan 13th 2011, 11:48 am
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Default Re: Home Sick

Originally Posted by flower26 View Post
Don't let their issues with you make your life a misery. Life is what you make it so hold your head high, think positive and enjoy the experience.
Well said Flower..
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Old Jan 13th 2011, 11:56 am
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Default Re: Home Sick

Thanks Sunnie
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Old Jan 13th 2011, 6:17 pm
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Default Re: Home Sick

Originally Posted by flower26 View Post
Thanks Sunnie
I have moved around all my life due to having a father in the Forces and then joining my self. I have made some great friends in all the places I have lived and some huge mistakes in others. However I am a firm believer that, and it may sound corny, "home is where the heart is". If you put yourself in to the venture of being on the island heart and soul and take the advice given here about getting your family to visit mixed with using the net, I don't see any real reason why you should miss them.

Remind me of this if you would when I'm 18 months in and feeling my feet start to itch. I truely hope that life sttles back down for you. Good luck.
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Old Jan 19th 2011, 3:25 pm
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Default Re: Home Sick

Hi - I am down in St James and though I cannot work here, am in a fairly similar situation. We have been living here for 7+ years and I do miss my UK friends/family a lot especially around my birthday/Xmas. If you fancy meeting up for a drink when you're next shopping in Holetown, please PM me . Sara
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Old Feb 4th 2011, 2:54 pm
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Default Re: Home Sick

Vikki, am new to this site and we are hoping to move to Barbados so I may not be the best person to give advice.
Homesickness is a real drag so I offer some words of guidance whilst hoping I don’t cause offence. The only way to live anywhere is to get involved. Get out and meet people, join clubs, groups, take up hobbies that interact with other people, help in hospitals or other such areas, get involved with sport, look at further education.
My wife and I have lived in 4 separate countries, in a total of 11 separate locations and now live in house number 18. Each of the moves has had its challenges (particularly those prompted by work) however, it seems to me that looking at ones blessings and what is now and what will be is more productive than hankering as to what has gone. Talk to your husband and also control your life – don’t let your grief for what has gone control you.
Hope this helps and hope no offence caused.
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Old Feb 5th 2011, 12:58 am
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Default Re: Home Sick

Serendipidy wish you would come back (visit anytime soon?) we need you to organize another Dinner or even Lunch for a get together like the one at Scarlet years ago? would be great... maybe one day....
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Old Feb 5th 2011, 8:45 am
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Hey Sandgirl how you doing?? Hows the little un was just a bump last time we saw it. Acutally i didint organise that event cant remember who did lol but I did sort the Southcoast one that was a good evening and a good turn out - Went partying with Rassamatazz and other half after was a good night

Yellow sunset was the party girl at the west coast event - u still partying Sarah lol??

Last edited by Serendipidy; Feb 7th 2011 at 12:25 pm.
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