lola88

Hey everyone! It's been just over 3 months since I headed back to England (lived in California for five years). The first week back I posted a very positive post on here - I was high on the big move and change of scene! While I'm still very happy to be back and don't regret moving at all, as with all things, perfect it aint!

Based on my experience so far, I have the following words of wisdom to share:

1) The Job Market Isn't That Bad

Don't be fooled by Daily Mail/tabloid fodder that claims there's no hope out there and you will never ever get a decent paying job. There's work out there for just about every skill level - just depends if you're picky or not. I came back with ZERO connections or British work experience (left country at 18) but still got two job offers within the first 6 weeks of being back, both offering fair wages. Jobs aren't growing on trees and it's still very tough, but compared to the dismal job market I experienced in the US, I actually think it's a bit better here.

2) You Could Easily Suffer From Depression

I was high as a kite the first two weeks back - then as if a switch went off in my brain I became very depressed. Being back suddenly became overwhelming once the excitement died down and I felt very isolated and like a foreigner in my own country! Once I started working and going out more I soon snapped out of it - but be prepared for this as there's a good chance you may feel depressed at least at first.

3) You Get Used to the Weather

The first few weeks I was back I felt physically ill with the cold - then I got used to it! I wear my Uggs every day, wear a scarf and take an umbrella always with me and I'm absolutely fine - the weather hasn't stopped me doing anything I've wanted to do so far.

4) Don't Expect Friends & Family to Make a Big Fuss

Some of you may be lucky enough to have friends and family ecstatic on your return - but not me or for many other expats I have talked to. My immediate family are extremely happy I am back - but my extended family have made little to no effort to reconnect (despite various efforts on my side) and many of my friends (that may I add have been begging me to come home for years!) aren't that bothered or when I've met them have seemed uncomfortable/intimidated by the fact that I've lived abroad and done something different.

5) British People Like to Moan

It's true, they really do! The phony positive attitude of many American people used to annoy me, but here it seems the other extreme! I'm working as a temp at a uni and the staff have it pretty good - fair to good wages, lots of time off, laid back work environment and beautiful location - but they don't half moan! From their commute, to the weather, to nothing good is ever on the tv - it's a sea of negativity!

6) The NHS isn't Perfect, but it's nice to have

The NHS isn't perfect and has problems but on the whole it's very nice to have. I don't have to worry now when I feel ill that a serious illness could bankrupt me! Or be constantly calculating how a trip to the GP will cost me!

So that's it for now, hope it's helpful to people that are back and people that are thinking of coming back! Like I said working as a temp on a four month contract, so will need to find something more permanent in the new year - but I have faith that I will!

Brigette

Thanks so much for posting this! Loved reading it. I can't until it's mt turn to return home

curleytops

Good balanced update - happy to hear you're settling in, have a Merry UK Christmas!

colchar

Do you mean to say that the DM is the paragon of truth in journalism

And for anyone who might be sarcasm impaired, yes I was joking.

feelbritish

Thanks for the well balanced post. Glad to hear the job market is not that bad as made out. Also the heads up on the feelings of depression, because I think that can be a reality that you could easily slip into. About family and friends, I don't expect much to change there, and for that reason we are choosing to live quite a long ways away from them to a place where we want to be and those that really want to see us will make the effort and we will make the effort for them!

Sally Redux

The moaning has got out of hand, I notice that when visiting.

Many years ago a Greek visitor commented about the tube being delayed due to a person under the train, "You have so much here, you don't know whether to live or die!"

Great update, lola!

colchar

When I was last living over in Britain in the summer of 2008 (a month and a bit with relatives in Scotland, several months in London, and then another month and a bit back in Scotland again) I was stuck in an enormous delay on the Tube, during which people were packed on the platforms like sardines, and which was made worse by the fact that trains on other lines were still letting people off at the station (cannot remember which station at the moment). It was eventually announced that the delay was due to a death on the tracks (whether accidental or due to suicide they obviously did not say) and I couldn't believe the amount of people pissing and moaning about how inconvenient this was for them and how ticked off they were about the delay. A couple of guys near me were particularly bad so I turned and snapped at them to the effect of "you're merely delayed getting home or wherever else you are going, someone on the other end of the track is dead and is never going home again so I don't think you have much to bitch about!" There were a few murmurs of agreement from others around me and the two guys quietened down a bit but other people a bit further away from where I was standing kept complaining about how much the delay was inconveniencing them. I couldn't believe the lack of sympathy and empathy for a person who had died.

Originally I had been ticked off about the delay as well but as soon as they announced the reason why, I was no longer ticked off.

lola88

Thanks Yes I definitely advise to get out as much as you can once you get back home because it's very easy to feel isolated if you don't! People are friendly you just have to find them rather than wait them to find you!

lola88

Totally agree! Don't know how good they have it.

lola88

Thank you

quoll

Good to hear things are settling down for you! You make some excellent points there - I think we'd all be better off without the Daily Fail whose main role in life is to make Britain go "Tut tut, Disgusting!" over their toast every morning!

Getting back into your social circle is, I think, always hard for returnees - we perhaps expect more than we should - after all, we left holes in the lives of others and those holes have healed over to leave scar tissue! I approached re-integration like it was a move to a new place and actively sought out new, like minded connections based on my interests of the moment rather than hanging on to the connections which were based on interests of the past. That said, my old friendships here are still stronger than any of my Aussie ones!

Hope you have a fabulous "real" Christmas!

lola88

Thank you so much Quoll I agree. It is easier to talk to British people despite their exterior "reserved" air. I have only been working at my current gig for around 6 weeks and I've had more meaningful convos with coworkers than I ever did at my last place in the US - which I was at for two years!!

NiHao

Great update, thank you so much for sharing your experience so far, both the good and the difficult/bad. It helps so much to read these updates.

Glad that overall you are enjoying being back!

holly_1948

I haven't been able to divine which part of England you have settled in?

China is quick to describe itself as "One country, two systems".
Britain seems to be increasingly "Two countries, one system".
One - London and satellite communities, Two the rest of the UK.
Most expensive car parking in the world versus rapidly growing dependence on food banks.

sallysimmons

Britain definitely doesn't have the most expensive car parking in the world although I have no idea about the little bit of it that constitutes London. Perhaps that's true there - although New York would take some beating.

Having moved from New York to the Yorkshire countryside, I can definitely say parking is cheaper here

I think the OP's point about family and friends is so important. My former best friend and I see each other when we can, but he's always so busy that it's hard. He's made a whole life that doesn't include me. On the other hand, one of my neighbours is quickly becoming a brilliant new friend, and I have reconnected with an old school pal who is rapidly becoming my new 'bestie.' I think you just have to keep reaching out, but be prepared that sometimes it just won't work.

Re being easier to talk to British people ... what I love is how easy it is to joke around with everyone - even complete strangers. It's such a relief to be among people who understand irony again!