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Four weeks in and first wobble

Four weeks in and first wobble

Old Jan 29th 2014, 9:50 pm
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Default Four weeks in and first wobble

Hi

Have been back nearly four weeks now and am really pleased how much has been achieved in that time. However I lost the plot last night when on the phone to hubby and he said he was worried about jobs ect. I am still blaming myself for upsetting everyone as it was always me that wanted to come back. I miss hubby desperately and my dogs and hate the idea of them still in kennels and having to do the long flight. It all just got a bit much.

Hubby arrives in 2 weeks time (just in time for Valentine's Day) and I'm hoping once he's here he will like it again (as he did when we visited earlier in the year)

I know the sooner we are in our own place the better and am keeping everything crossed that this happens soon and that he likes the house when he sees it!

I just have to keep looking forward and making the most of the things I wanted us to come back for.

I'm sure it's perfectly normal to have these nagging doubts and if anyone has any advice please jump in with words of wisdom and comfort
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Old Jan 31st 2014, 5:53 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Originally Posted by Choccie
Hi

Have been back nearly four weeks now and am really pleased how much has been achieved in that time. However I lost the plot last night when on the phone to hubby and he said he was worried about jobs ect. I am still blaming myself for upsetting everyone as it was always me that wanted to come back. I miss hubby desperately and my dogs and hate the idea of them still in kennels and having to do the long flight. It all just got a bit much.

Hubby arrives in 2 weeks time (just in time for Valentine's Day) and I'm hoping once he's here he will like it again (as he did when we visited earlier in the year)


I know the sooner we are in our own place the better and am keeping everything crossed that this happens soon and that he likes the house when he sees it!

I just have to keep looking forward and making the most of the things I wanted us to come back for.

I'm sure it's perfectly normal to have these nagging doubts and if anyone has any advice please jump in with words of wisdom and comfort
Hi Choccie

Yes its perfectly normal. Returned just before Xmas, husband still in the US, not sure when he will be home, but hoping for March.

Remember what you have been through in the last few months, your emotions and stress levels would have be on high alert. You would have really busy arranging and arriving back to the UK. Now your here, thats it, your here. You have been so focused on the return, its hard to know what to do once its over. That's probably why all the self doubt has raised its head.

The way I see it is excitement, stress, excitement and then nothing. Its a bit of a come down, a bit like Christmas day.

I'm not sure how long you were away, but I'm sure when you arrived overseas you probably accepted that you needed to give it sometime. Well that's what you need to do, give it sometime, you will have days that make you feel so happy that you returned and days when you miss your old home loads.

I'm so happy to be home, my kids are more that happy and I am 100 % sure we are in the right place. I also really disliked that country we were in and do think we are a better country (but that is a personal opinion). But I still have days that make me feel sad that I'm not there and wonder why I thought the UK was so wonderful.

I'm sure your feeling a lonely as well, I have a dog, who is home now and Skype isn't any good when your feeling down. (Notice I mentioned the dog first)

My best advice would be roll with it, accept that you will feel all range of emotions not just happy to be back ones. You arn't feeling like this because it was the wrong thing to do, its because we are human.
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Old Jan 31st 2014, 9:35 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Originally Posted by Homeiswheretheheartis
But I still have days that make me feel sad that I'm not there and wonder why I thought the UK was so wonderful.

Gosh, you have such a lovely way with words I've been back 6 months now and yes I'm happy and am content but on occasion, I too find myself wondering why I thought UK was so much better.

Having said that though, if someone were to tell me that right now I could go back to USA to my old life, house, job etc etc I don't think I'd want to. I never felt as though I was home in USA, whereas in UK I do

You'll be fine Choccie, we've all wobbled since getting back here
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Old Jan 31st 2014, 9:49 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Originally Posted by Homeiswheretheheartis

The way I see it is excitement, stress, excitement and then nothing. Its a bit of a come down, a bit like Christmas day.
Or your wedding day.
So much hype about the day itself, but once it's over the real reality and hard slog starts


But in all seriousness, I suspect I too am going to have serious wobbles. But will just have to have the same mantra of keep calm and find a wine to get through.

Anything that turns your world upside down you moments if 'what have I done'. I remember it vividly 1 week in with my 4th child home from the hospital. This was it, our last member of the family, much wanted. And wham it hit. Up all night with the baby plus the other three,(2 at school and one nursery) and thought, what the hell was I thinking. Life had been so easy. Sleep was bliss etc. what have I done, put it back.

Didn't have those same moments with the wee accident that arrived 18 months later. I think that life was already comfortable back into chaos mode and what was one more to add to the mix (and there can be no more after this)

Last edited by ble; Jan 31st 2014 at 9:57 pm.
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Old Feb 1st 2014, 1:25 am
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

I'm sure once your hubby and dogs arrive you will feel better. Right now your life is not complete but it will be soon. Hang in there and keep focusing on all the positives. Wobbles i'm sure are completely normal.
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Old Feb 1st 2014, 8:27 am
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Hi

Thanks for all the kind words. I know it will pass and I am much happier here - always been a bit impatient I guess.

Like you say once we are all together and in our own place we can make it home and start enjoying ourselves. Just hope my doggies remember who I am!

It's true about all the build up and then the reality check.
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Old Feb 1st 2014, 10:28 am
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

hi

I am sure you have done the right thing. I know what you mean about doubting yourself though. I am living in Italy, for past 8 years. We do small jobs to get us by, and I have enjoyed it so far. However just lately I keep feeling as though I want to go back to the Uk. I have my sister there, but no home or job, My husband has his sister there also, but he is not keen on going back. Husband sees it as failing if we return, I do not because we have tried something different and it worked. I keep hearing how hard it is now in Uk, but its hard everywhere. Has anyone else had these feelings after a few years, ? feels more than homesickness.
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Old Feb 1st 2014, 2:40 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Hi

I know what you mean about it feeling more than homesickness but not sure if I can describe just what it is really. I had got to the point where I actually collapsed as I just couldn't take it anymore. Having said that to an outsider we had a lovely big home, hubby had (still has) a good job that he loves and 2 of our 3 children were there. I think once those doubts and worries start to manifest they slowly but surely take over.

I don't have any sense that we have failed.

One thing I have found myself thinking recently is that for the 18 months that we did something really different it was worth all the expense and missing of family but really that is it. And as they say if I knew then what I know now I would never have done it and put myself and my family in this position.

I think like many I underestimated the pleasure of just having a cuppa and chat with my sister and had really started to miss those normal things. (Although she may be getting sick of me now!!)

I wish you well and hope that you make the decision that is right for you.
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Old Feb 1st 2014, 3:00 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Your dogs will definitely remember you and they will probably knock you over they will be so excited to see you. make sure you wear old clothes for the reunion, there's bound to be plenty of puppy kisses and drool involved:-)
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Old Feb 1st 2014, 8:46 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Can't wait for the reunion - have already picked out new beds for them!!
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Old Feb 3rd 2014, 9:31 am
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Being without the important people in your life is always going to give you the jitters - heck, mine's in Aus for 6 weeks and it almost makes me think favourably of Australia and that's saying something!

It'll be better when he's here with you and you can fight the dragons together!
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Old Feb 6th 2014, 4:26 am
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Hope everything works out for you
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Old Feb 6th 2014, 8:04 am
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Thank you

We seem to have come to a bit of a halt at the moment. The people we are buying the house from keep saying they want to move quickly but don't actually appear to be doing anything. I still haven't received the statement I need for my CRB check so no chance of starting work. Still have another interview but it's at the hospital again so would still need the checks.

Guess there was always going to be a lull after the initial rush of things.

Have sent off for son's record of achievement for his NCEA and will then have to go through NARIC to get them compared. He was very impressed with the local college. The PE teacher got him to sign up for basketball on the spot as they run a programme where they get extra coaching and conditioning training

Last night a school that I had emailed and phoned several times and been told no suddenly are prepared to see us for an interview.

Still waiting for son's NI number but hopefully his paperwork is almost complete!
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Old Feb 6th 2014, 6:51 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Originally Posted by Choccie
Thank you

We seem to have come to a bit of a halt at the moment. The people we are buying the house from keep saying they want to move quickly but don't actually appear to be doing anything. I still haven't received the statement I need for my CRB check so no chance of starting work. Still have another interview but it's at the hospital again so would still need the checks.

Guess there was always going to be a lull after the initial rush of things.

Have sent off for son's record of achievement for his NCEA and will then have to go through NARIC to get them compared. He was very impressed with the local college. The PE teacher got him to sign up for basketball on the spot as they run a programme where they get extra coaching and conditioning training

Last night a school that I had emailed and phoned several times and been told no suddenly are prepared to see us for an interview.

Still waiting for son's NI number but hopefully his paperwork is almost complete!
It all seems to be coming together slowly choccie. I really hope it all works out.
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Old Feb 6th 2014, 9:28 pm
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Default Re: Four weeks in and first wobble

Thanks Spacecake

Finally got the bank statement through so have been able to submit my DBS form - keeping fingers crossed it comes back quickly. I have recent ones in NZ anyway so perhaps that will help. Wasn't without it's issues though as I was originally told I could scan it to them but ended up having to take it in. Then the online bit took over an hour just to submit name changes and addresses as it kept timing out. All very frustrating.

One week till hubby leaves
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