Tr1boy

Reverse culture can happen but I have been back and forth to Oz several times and lived in 5 other countries and reverse shock is definitely a two way street. I moved to Oz in the 80s and am am always shocked at the changes when I return, none of them for the better. The thing is, most folks return to Oz ( or wherever) fairly quickly so don't see the change but those of us that have been living for a long time can see it. it happens everywhere.

Working out the amount of change you are prepared to live with is the key ( if that stuff is important to you).

Snap Shot

Indeed

munch

I can relate to so much of your story. We too lived in Australia and felt the pull of returning to be closer to family.
We gave up a good secure life and took the kids away from all that they had known for 7 years - a great lifestyle, friends, school, familiar surroundings etc. and moved back to the UK.
We arrived in the UK full of hope and positivity so excited to be home. I can't tell you how content we felt seeing family, it felt like the warmest hug ever. Christmas was everything we remembered it to be and so magical, the build up was so festive but I think the cold weather helps with that nostalgia.
But after months of terrible weather, countless applications and rejections for work, seeing our beautiful hometown changed beyond recognition with so much poverty and crime and the realisation that owning a home was becoming more of a dream, 3 years books we needed showing a healthy profit but my husband managed just 3 weeks work over January and February due to wet weather and lack of work, we realised that our future was very bleak and our positive attitude sadly turned to despair.
Some family members offered nothing but criticism instead of support which eventually made our decision to move back to Australia a little easier.
So after 11 months we made the very emotional move back to Oz and have settled back to the same life we had before (different suburb though). The move back was a breeze, my husband came back months before to start work and set up and he got the kids back into their old school. The first day they were greeted to a swarm of their friends running across the school field to greet them and I knew then it was the right place to be for them.
Our eldest son, who managed to get a job in the UK - an apprenticeship on £3 per hour but no guarantee of a job at the end, he is so happy to be back and is living the life that a 19 year old should be living with friends he has grown up with. Not sat in his room all night because he can't afford to go out because he needs his money to pay for his train ticket to work for the week.
We will always miss the UK, our hearts will always be there. I do really wish things had worked out for us there but they didn't, I believe everything is for a reason one day I may look back and understand what that reason is
I found strength I didn't know I had towards the end when my husband was commuting back & forth from the UK to Oz and I was left defending him to opinionated family members that should have been supporting him.
So for now home is in Oz, I don't know yet if it was the right thing to do but we don't feel the despair we did in the UK so that's a positive sign

elonii

I hope the move back has been the right thing! For us, we are determined to get my husband's UK passport then we will review our situation. Meanwhile, he likes it here a lot more than I do - but we have come to an area with great outdoor activities and lots of great stuff for kids. So that is a positive. I'm struggling with the weather but hoping once we are over the cost of the move we can travel a bit.

Thanks for the post, and the best of luck. I miss Australia so much, I'd be back there tomorrow if we could get PR

verystormy

I think this demonstrates that when people move back, they need to research as much as they did on the original move out. Simply going back to a home town is often a bad idea - the things that you didn't like that prompted the move in the first place are likely to be still there. Also, employment is just as variable as it is in Australia. There is zero point in moving to a part of the UK with poor employment prospects or where you are not going to be happy with the weather.

I knew that the weather would be a potential issue for us - my wife likes heat. My family and many friends are in the north of England. But, employment prospects are not great and the weather not as good as the south. So, we ended up in Windsor. A nice and very pretty town big enough for everything we need but with the addition of London on the door step. Significantly better weather than the North and masses of jobs - I was sat in my new job 36 hours after landing.

Speaking of the weather, we have been massively impressed. I have to record the weather every day as it is a legal requirement of my job. In the month we have been here, we have had 2 rain days, a few days with showers and the rest being mainly fine. I had to open the office windows yesterday because it was getting too hot.

So, while I am not in the same town / city as friends and family, I am only a car drive away - one of the great aspects of the UK is its size. It means we can live in a very pretty, clean place with great character, where there is plenty of work, but still see fiends and family regularly - we are going to north yorks this weekend, followed by Leicester for family get togethers. But, can come back to a wonderful place to live

christmasoompa

I'm so glad you said this! I'm not far from you, and when people on the forums talk about the grey/rainy weather in the UK I often suggest they move areas, as we seem to get so much better weather than other places.

Or perhaps people just focus on the rain and don't remember the nice days - I know that when we were renovating our house, we had several months of reroofing, and the roofer only had 2 days in all that time that he couldn't work because it rained. Granted, it was a dry summer, but still I had friends just down the road who moaned about the weather and when I pointed out that we'd only had 2 continually rainy days in 4 months they were gobsmacked!

My parents are only 40 mins away from me, but they get noticeably wetter weather as they are in the Chiltern Hills, whereas being in the Thames Valley we're one of the driest parts of the UK. I will often speak to my mum and it'll be raining with her but dry with us.

And on that note, I'm off to have my coffee outside sitting on the patio, just as I did yesterday, as it's sunny and warm!

Enjoy Windsor, it's such a gorgeous town.

Novocastrian

Freudian slip of the year?

Tr1boy

One of my most major back ops was done in Windsor (Princess Margaret), at the time we were living in Godalming (we are Winchester now), my wife visited everyday and stayed for a few days with me. She went into town and came back all excited because she'd found a 'Bell and Dragon' coffee place in Windsor, we had one in Godalming in a converted chapel.

That's all I know about the place, except what the view is like from the hospital

On the original topic, we are staring down the barrel of returning to Oz, probably mid year onwards. Every time we go back to Oz I can't get over the changes. I said it before, people think it's only the UK changes but that's far from the truth (whether it's admitted or not!).

But our time in the UK is pretty much done and if I'm honest, we probably stayed about 18mths too long. When Mrs TB received her British passport in 2014, we probably should have headed back then. The money I earn in the UK is good but it's contracting and with little one in tow, we need to build a family life platform.

This can happen in the UK if I want it to but we'll see, we would be moving to Dorset mortgage free but putting a lot of eggs in one basket, bit risky at my age. We've always done fairly well here, lived in nice places with nice neighbours for the most part. I hardly recognise the country that some describe here but having said that, I lived in Sydney for 27 years and rarely recognise the descriptions of 'Oz' that get thrown around, as they are very different to life in Sydney.

I think the weight of expectation is the biggest factor. People move to Oz and think it will be laid back and a 'better life' and can be shocked and let down if it doesn't work that way. Conversely, the same is true of a move back to the UK, we all have a vision of 'home' and sometimes it lets us down also and I think that let down can be worse as it is usually something we 'banked on'.

For us, it's a question of having enough experience to know that rarely is life good all the time or bad all the time, wherever you are. These things come in waves and you learn to ride them as best you can.

scot47

When you come back after a long period away you are not coming back to the same country. The Britain that I live in now is so different from the Britain that I grew up in. Those who have spent time away are more aware of the changes than those who have lived through them.


There are lots of things about contemporary Britain that I do not like but I try to focus on the positive.

verystormy

Thank you.

I have known for a few years about the Brits inability to see good weather and paint it bleak. I was on a visit back to the UK a few years ago for 2 weeks. In that 2 weeks, we had 12 days of glorious sunshine - I was in shorts and t-shirt. We had one patchy day and one day it belted down the entire day. But, all everyone said was "hasn't the weather been awful".

Personally, I don't mind rain. In fact those days of constant light drizzle are my favourite days - perfect for going out hiking.

verystormy

You may though find that Australia has changed a huge amount very recently. We had been in Oz for 8 years and times had been pretty good. Then, 20 months ago, I was made redundant. At the same time, the WA economy went down the toilet. Since I was made redundant, pretty much all of my friends have been. The morning before I flew out, I walked the dog for the last time in Oz and walked down the road and counted up the neighbours houses that were about to be taken by the banks - a huge amount of them.

We were out of work 18 months - doing hundreds of applications as week. But, so were so many others. I had feedback from Woolworths for a shelf filling role that they had received over 200 applications. My wife managed to get a cleaning job for 3 hours a week - they had over 100 applications

It now seems to be spreading to other states - NT and SA are in dire doodie and the only things that seem to be keeping NSW and Vic going is the housing bubble. Oddly, Tas seems to have improved a bit.

munch

I really don't think anyone would move back to the UK without carrying out research and carefully considering all their options.
You are very lucky that things have worked out so well for you it doesn't for so many for lots of reasons regardless of what part of the UK they went back to.

Tr1boy

I'm absolutely sure it will have. We spent a couple of months in Sydney back in 2013 and we could even see a change then. I have spent several stints away from Oz (1yr, 15mths and 6 yrs) and it changes all the time.

We won't be moving back with any delusions of a 'better life', we are old hands at Oz living, we're just moving back because that's where it suits us to be for the next chapter of our lives, not better or worse just different.

Nothing stays the same (that's what I tell myself when Flipper is throwing a wobbler! )

vikingsail

I have followed your story avidly for a few years now and think that this is a great piece of advice for anyone considering a move anywhere.

Snap Shot

Because it was referring to this post from Tr1boy:

We won't be moving back with any delusions of a 'better life', we are old hands at Oz living, we're just moving back because that's where it suits us to be for the next chapter of our lives, not better or worse just different.