Re: Back but struggling
 

So glad to read things are getting better for you!! xox

Re: Back but struggling
 

Yes it is (nice to travel further afield) and we still do long haul holidays, we even find it cheaper if not the same to do that from here in the UK than we did in Aus.

Re: Back but struggling
 

One or two generations ago, when people emigrated it was a permanent move. Now that travel is comparatively easy - and cheap - people move backwards and forwards all the time !

I see that still in my own family. My brother emigrated to South Africa in 1966 and never for a moment considering coming back.

Re: Back but struggling
 

Not really of those who emigrated in the 50s and 60s etc over a third came back

Re: Back but struggling
 

Yes absolutely, when we went to Australia in 1962 apparently a large number went back home to their respective countries. My mum has told me lots of stories over the years and listening to them I can understand why so many left.

Re: Back but struggling
 

I'm glad things are feeling better for you now - sounds like everyone is settling nicely. Plus Spring is here! I love seeing the daffs everywhere and knowing that the sun will eventually come out again :rofl:

Re: Back but struggling
 

There was a documentary about the Ten Pound Poms, a few years back. I was very surprised at the number of returnees, mainly because it must have cost them a fortune in those days.

At least these days the internet gives you a better feel for what to expect. You could tell that back then the promise of sunshine and sand didn't capture the reality of the situation. Some families were miserable.

Re: Back but struggling
 

My parents told us about families that were absolutely distraught when they realised what they were told didnt exactly match the reality. My Mum was told she leave her old Hoover in England as there was no dust in Australia, she still laughs about that. That example is pretty harmless but some of the propaganda they were fed was incredible.

Re: Back but struggling
 

Reading this post gave me the"Am i doing the right thing going back to the UK feeling" but my situation is different, i am a empty nester and my only child and daughter is now living in the UK as well as my younger brother my dad moved back to Ireland 5yrs ago after my mother passed away, my daughter moved there almost 2yrs ago and has no intensions of ever moving back she loves the UK has ever since we would visit my family every year, plus she is in a serious relationship with a lovely guy who is also from Surrey Guilford, i spent a month in West Byfleet at Xmas and seriously did not want to leave i love Surrey, when my daughter first moved there she was commuting from Guilford to London and she was going broke, so she moved to Wimbledon Common which is lovely also, i am also starting over from scratch having been in a bad marriage i am going alone, i am planning on next spring depending on how much i can save, but i am scared, i wonder if i can find a job i am a assistant manager in retail, but it is just seasonal, as where i live everything closes in the winter, plus to rent a small 1 bed in Surrey is so expensive, so i am thinking Kent, Sussex, or Somerset, i will have a little savings my goal is about 6 months worth, but worried my money will run out before i find a job, so wonder am i doing the right thing as i have nothing keeping me here in the US and miss my family especially my daughter so much.

Re: Back but struggling
 

I see the same worries and problems in this thread that we are now going through. We have lived overseas for over 25 years and have three kids of 15, 11 and 5. Our ability to earn money has drastically been reduced over the last few years. We have our own flat and the children are happy living in a small place. Their English isnt great but they have other languages. Due to the lack of jobs here - only waiters, cleaners and other hospitality jobs we are coming back to the UK. I never really missed it, have no real support there but I think its the next stage to get back before the oldest might need uni as here we cant offer all three the same due to having to pay for everything. I am sick with worry although all three want to try the UK they have no experience at all of living there. My other half is nearly 53 and is so worried about finding work. Its very hard to even throw money at renting an accommodation as they want credit checks which they cant do on us. Its all very overwhelming and I know that I will have a hard time. Its easier to stay in our home (which we cant sell due to the crisis over here) and get a job earning a pittance. I am looking at a five year plan. Hopefully we can offer the children an education in the UK that we cant offer here and I and my other half can work our way slightly back up that ladder. Staying put means the same for the rest of our working life which fills me with dread. We have a great life with the location of where we are but no friends as most of them have left. I can speak the language but still feel very alone and the thought of growing old here is not something I want to do but mainly I dont want the family split as the 11 year old says she wont move after secondary as she will have her friends here ... clever girl. Everyone who lives in the UK, says we are mad but none of them would work the long hours we do for not very much money. We have no comute, a beautiful view from our window but its not enough any more. I go mad at the rules in the UK, there are rules for everything but its a fair system there and we are equal and not judged by our nationality or age which happens here. We both have at least 20 years work life so now is the time to make the change. We can live frugally as we do now and we are five in a small flat so we dont care about a house either. However if we make a mistake its hard to come back as the children will lose a year of the language and for school they would have to catch up again. So for me its all or nothing for the next few years until the little one is older. I know that we can go back overseas or keep a foot in the door but its the day to day living that petrifies me. If my children dont settle or only one does and the other two dont etc etc I am taking the little one from a great primary school and he wont have the languages that the other two have which makes me feel guilty. Its driving us apart and the decision has to be made now due to school places both here or in the UK. I feel we should go back as I am unhappy and worried about my future here and I think that one move for the kids is Ok but I wouldnt move them again if they settle. Its so easy to stay but I know if we do then in a years time I will wonder whether we did the right thing so that should tell me something I suppose....! Anyway my ramble is finished!!! There is no wrong decision only different ones thats what Im telling myself....

Re: Back but struggling
 

I feel for you, it is hard. My three children are exactly the same age as yours but we live in America. Trying tp talk about moving back is met with huge resistance by the 15 year old, doubting Thomas attitude from the 11 year old and a 'sure whatever' attitude from the 5 year old... Very tricky indeed...

Re: Back but struggling
 

I wouldn't worry so much about a job. If someone goes back to the UK with a positive attitude and can take a few knockbacks with job interviews then something WILL come up. People in the UK are scared to lose their jobs as they have mortgages and a lot of costs but if you are flexible, positive and prepared to maybe take a job lower down the ladder then if you have a good work ethic you will work your way up again. Accommodation is hard but what do you need? A small, clean place with a bed, TV and sofa, easy access to travel to visit your family. Thats it. You can live frugally in the UK, buying food, clothes etc doesnt have to cost the earth. Its the utilities and rent that you have to cover. I dont expect my children to stay in the UK or live with me forever but I want a home where they leave from and can come back to. I dont want to split my family and leave a 16 or 17 year old in one place and drag the other two somewhere else. Europe is small to visit but I also cant imagine at 70 in a country where I am alone so now is the time to get some life while I am working and have the children. Fear is what keeps me and many people stuck and it is harder to make the change. I am fighting my husbands fear but I have the children ready to leave. I couldnt go if I have to drag them with me as I would have too much guilt and end up living somewhere for them not for me. Its important to feel some kind of inner contentment and that feeling about returning doesnt go away if you dont try. I dont believe its easy to go back and many people have to live with the thought that some things are always missed about the place that we leave so you are always "grass is greener" to a degree but on the positive we have all had these experiences and a chance to have lived a different life for a while. My children have had a child friendly upbringing in a small ski resort where they have spoken three languages, had fun, been to a school where the teachers still hug and kiss the children and five year olds go away on school trips to France and Spain. Hopefully this will be enough to give them a different view on life and that they can achieve anything through hard work. It still doesnt stop my guilt and worry but if my husband and myself are happier hopefully they will be happy wherever the family ends up. This is what keeps me thinking we should go now before one of them says that they dont want to leave. That dilema will be even harder to take as I want my children to be with me until they choose to go not because they have no choice and are losing their family home because of my decision to leave. We live in a place that many people leave after a while and all that you really are left with are your family and a few good friends so for me the UK will be more stable in that respect. I will sorely miss the political incorrectness how you can still grab a kid by the ear, hug kids you know in the street without their parents being there, loud chatting, coffee mornings in three languages and the lack of worry about material things. Everyone here lives in tiny flats and makes do. Hopefully I will find like minded people who rebel a little against the rules and bloomin regulations and this other language that sounds like English but isnt! Key stage and key skills etc etc. I hope I can learn all this quickly and not put my foot in it at job interviews!! But also you have to ignore people in the UK who ask why on earth you are coming back. They dont appreciate the amazing opportunities in their own country and the health care system and free schooling etc etc We pay for everything here and if you dont work you have no health insurance, no dole, no free school books, free school transport or free meals. If you cant afford it here you struggle. Most people have one day off a week, not usually weekends and its long hours for a very basic pay. We will be alright - wont we??

Re: Back but struggling
 

I believe it is called 'the reverse culture shock' the second time around usually works great. :thumbsup: