Homeiswheretheheartis

The key thing here, is the kids not settling the first move. My DD never settled for 2.5 years on our overseas move, aged 8 to 10. I really understand how much it affects the whole family. If you are like us you won't ever really know why they didn't settle.

We are back in the UK now and my DD couldn't be happier, and likes to point out that she will NEVER forgive me for taking her overseas.

Are you willing to take a chance for the adventure, of moving overseas again and your children not settling again?

If you are all very unhappy in the UK I would say its worth the chance, with nothing to lose. But if you are just a bit discontented, I would recommend trying to rectify the situation in the UK first.

Pupsiecola

Thank you for the last two posts.

Partly the reason we would want to go overseas again is because if DH wants to progress his career he will have to be at HQ in the US. A large part of progressing the career is about financial security for the whole family and being able to help the kids out as they get older etc. etc. Of course, money doesn't buy happiness and all that, but DH is only 39 and hasn't yet reached his peak. It's also about quality of life and in certain parts of the US (and Canada) people seem to rave about that. I'm not saying we will go overseas. It depends on what happens here. What I'm saying is we'd like to feel positive enough that if and when an offer comes our way we can consider it without feeling that it's a no because of schooling worries.

Homeiswheretheheartis

You will never stop worrying about the kids schooling, in the UK or overseas. You only have to read a large number of posts on here to realize that.

As for people raving about quality of life being better in AU, USA, Canada, etc etc. Quality of life is good in first world countries, that doesn't mean is better in one more that another, just different. You have to find what makes you happy.

As you will see from the posts on here, there are many people unhappy, wanting to return to the UK. Even though they presently live in what most people think are dream locations. E.G AU, USA, Canada, I myself lived in a big house, with the pool and the amazing weather, with kids in good schools and was very comfortably off in the US. I'm now back in the UK and its not stopped raining for weeks, Im living in a shoe box and my husband is still overseas and I couldn't be happier

I'm not saying don't go, just really think about it, what you have to gain, what you have to lose. Not just its got to be better that the UK.

Good luck whatever you choose to do.

Pupsiecola

Agreed. This is why I posted on the US board a few weeks back asking for positive stories. I think unfortunately though we mostly get to read about the negative ones cos those loving it are off enjoying life rather than posting on a board for support. A bit of a generalisation but hopefully you know what I mean. It was great to read about all the people who don't regret their decision. There were plenty of them!

Sally Redux

Not all is what it seems in the US - I would caution a really careful look at his job prospects because 'talking it up' is the national pastime.

Pupsiecola

Thanks. He works for a fantastic company at a high level and he's very leading edge in his field which in itself is leading edge. He loves working for them. He's at the ceiling here with them here. He wasn't in Asia. He wouldn't be in the US. Or possibly Canada.

Sally Redux

You do sound frustrated so maybe a transfer with the company would work well.

Homeiswheretheheartis

Yes, there are lots of people who are more that happy in the US. My husbands job meant there were loads of UK families in the same city who worked with my husband. Most of them loved the place and were crying when they needed to leave. Its obvious really no one in the whole world can say what will make you happy and I think most the time we don't know ourselves.

You felt that you didn't give your first go at moving overseas a good enough shot. I'm not saying don't go it will be awful, I'm trying to say seriously think about the real things that are important to you.

Peoples opinions of a country are just that opinions that will vary greatly.

We all check out jobs, houses and if a school is good before going to a new country, but I found that its many other things that contribute to being happy in another country.

Please don't see this as me saying don't go to the US, these are things that I never really give much thought to before we when and its only the US I can comment on. But researching these types of areas in any country will help you decide.

Thinks I found that bothered me and contributed to not feeling content in the US.

Have a real think about being away from family and friends, even if you don't see much of family now, sometimes its harder just being so far away.

Really research every area of the type of life you will be able to live. Its fine having a bigger wage packet, but if your husband has no time off to enjoy it, its worthless.

I really didn't like the education system, school holiday times, no playtimes, grading system, limited subjects. I only checked out the schools they would attend were good educationally it never crossed my mind to see if you son would do PE, History, cooking, geography and many others and who would have thought that they wouldn't have playtime.

I felt very uncomfortable with the religious aspect of our chosen country.

And even more uncomfortable with the political aspect.

Find out about Healthcare, the quality, the access, costs from real people who use the system. This site is good for that.

I hated the gun situation in the US, it would never have crossed my mind that my kids would have to practice lockdowns at school for active shooters at aged 8

Weather, who would have thought that the sun and heat would mean not leaving the house most of summer.

It's usually not the big things that make you unhappy in a place, its usually the little day to day things. If you spend a few days reading why people want to return, you will find the same little things mentioned on most posts. Who would have thought the lack of shared sense of humor, no jaffa cakes, TV and too much sun would be listed on reasons for returning by many people.

I also wanted to say, that everyone will tell you the kids will settle in the end. Most the time that is true, but after 2.5 years my DD still hadn't settled and there are a few people of here not many at all that have had children who have returned to the UK when they have been old enough by themselves. Its just no one every says that this is a possibility even if its a very small one. Just to balance it out my DS settled fine.

As I said, there are many, many happy people overseas and if you choose to go, I hope you are one of them.

Pupsiecola

Thanks homeiswheretheheartis. Some excellent points there. I completely agree. For example, you would imagine where we were before that you could live an outdoor lifestyle more than here, but actually living in the tropics where the humidity is so high it is very difficult to spend more than 20 to 30 minutes outside, comfortably.

We're going to discuss it next December. See how we feel. See if a good enough offer in a place that's a good fit for us taking into account all of those things you mentioned comes up and then take it from there. In the meantime we're trying to just live life day to day and enjoy our time here. We've got a 16 day road trip coming up - California and Nevada so that'll be great fun.

My original post was just really saying has anyone else had an overseas move cut short and did they find it hard. Sometimes it just helps to know that others have gone through similar (although I wouldn't wish it on anyone!).

Sally Redux

Homeiswheretheheartis, that's very similar to my feelings about the US.

ble

Don't feel a sense of failure that your adventure didn't work the first time.
And don't let that stop you trying somewhere else if the opportunity came up and you thought it good for the family.
Most people have dreamed and never tried it. Instead they live through other peoples dreams. Their nieces uncles brother moved to xyz and loved it and has never been back.

But also remember that no matter where you are in the world the daily grind is still the daily grind. You will still need to clean the toilets and do the school run wherever you are!

This is what I point out it people when they ask how we could leave Nz and go to the UK.

And there are good and bad schools in every country. Our kids we had to move after 18 months in the first school we tried.

Pupsiecola

Homeiswheretheheartis

I always think its funny that people think housework will be more fun in a different county

I lived in Nevada and did a few road trips in Cal, lovely area, where are you off to.

Pupsiecola

We are redoing our honeymoon of 12 years ago. Fly into San Francisco. Tahoe, Yosemite, Death Valley, Vegas, Santa Barbara, LA.

Get someone else to do the cleaning. That's the answer...

Homeiswheretheheartis

Lovely, I actually lived in Las Vegas, my husbands still there. Don't forget that it quiet chilly in San Fran and Tahoe, (not compared to the UK, but Death Valley) even in the summer. The Pacific Highway from San Fran to Santa Barbara is amazing. Not sure when your going, but its in the 20cs at the moment in Las Vegas, my husband enjoys showing me on Skype regularly