will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
#62
Re: will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
Do you prefer your wife or Australia?
#68
A horse walks into a bar.
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Surrey
Posts: 581
Re: will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
It's fair alright....... You're caught up in all this and if anything like me looking at Oz through tinted specs. You live in the New Forest area? You live in a spectacular area of the world, stick it out and enjoy your life on your doorstep.
#69
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 49
Re: will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
perhaps sometimes you don't no what you got until it's gone "but how do you no until you have tried it
#70
Re: will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
You can 'try' it but but at what cost?
As you said, try it for a couple of years and see, but what if you love it and she hates it, would you be prepared to return to the UK? Sadly many are not so the relationship breaks down. That's a huge cost to scratch an itch.
As you said, try it for a couple of years and see, but what if you love it and she hates it, would you be prepared to return to the UK? Sadly many are not so the relationship breaks down. That's a huge cost to scratch an itch.
#71
Re: will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
You don't know what effect all this will have on her. She clearly doesn't want to go. So you have to ask yourself, what happens if you do get her to move and you love it here and she hates it? Would you still want to stay in Oz even if it meant losing her? Or would you return to the UK?
I think asking what matters more, your wife or Oz is pretty relevant in this situation. I'm all for going to explore and see what things are like, but I can guarantee you there is no way we would have come here if my husband wasn't up for it. That's a recipe for disaster in my opinion.
#73
Re: will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
Options
1. Agree a trial period and mean it when you say you'll come back if it doesn't work for everyone. Consider the upheaval to kids schooling etc
2. Give up your 'dream' for the sake of your family
3. Take them anyway and risk the consequences if they continue to hate it.
4. Come alone and risk your marriage that way.
When you say she has been opposed to most moves .....have you moved a lot? Maybe she doesn't want to go through it all again - to anywhere.
When you say those moves worked out ok....is that your opinion or hers?
Its easy to slate you as being selfish and uncaring to your family but its hard to give up a dream especially when you think its for their benefits too. Just make sure you are really being honest with yourself before making decisions for them.
#74
Re: will it work if only one of us wants to be in oz
You claim you want the best for the kids yet you are willing to put the relationship of their mother and father at risk.
Do you think it will be good for the kids to be in the middle of the strains that this will put on your relationship with your wife?
What if you come here and she wants to go back, with them? If that happened, and you also went back then she will have "spoilt your dream".
Or perhaps they go back and you stay, achieving "your" dream.
I suspect you are using your kids as some sort of bargaining chip, transferring your desires into their wellbeing.
Just what exactly do you think it is about Australia that will do the best for your kids? I am honestly interested to know. I know what aspects of life in Australia are good for my kids, but then I have lived here for over 6 years.
Do you think it will be good for the kids to be in the middle of the strains that this will put on your relationship with your wife?
What if you come here and she wants to go back, with them? If that happened, and you also went back then she will have "spoilt your dream".
Or perhaps they go back and you stay, achieving "your" dream.
I suspect you are using your kids as some sort of bargaining chip, transferring your desires into their wellbeing.
Just what exactly do you think it is about Australia that will do the best for your kids? I am honestly interested to know. I know what aspects of life in Australia are good for my kids, but then I have lived here for over 6 years.
Last edited by jayr; Mar 5th 2009 at 1:21 am. Reason: addition of quotes for emphasis